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I would respectfully disagree. Women have only recently been accepted as more than property much like my black brethren. It is true that black people still find open aggression with police and a foul criminal justice system. Women are not targeted in that way. But the term girl has been just as used to put us in our supposed place.
Oh give me a ****ing break, now I've seen enough. Comparing racial slurs to the term girl is the dumbest thing I've ever seen on not only this forum, but the entire internet.
There are definitely slurs and hateful terms used to demean women, the same way the N-word is for black people.
However, "Girl" is not one of them. Give. Me. A. ****ing. Break. Already.
This is the dumbest argument I've seen in quite some time. I didn't even know girl was an offensive term until yesterday.
I wanna surge UV rays through my eyes to ensure I never read such asinine GARBAGE again. And that's exactly what this is, it's straight up garbage. Usually I don't snap on people, but this is so nonsensical.
As a black guy this is a poor comparison at best and a pretty offensive one in my eyes. The N bomb has a very well documented history of hate and prejudice being attached to it. The word girl does not. The words are nowhere near the same level.
A reasonable adult can tell the intent when someone says girl and does not get triggered at the first mention of "girl." Oh yeah, before you counter with boy, know that that word is also historically offensive to black males too.
I will apologize to you, specifically, Dissenter if my comparison offended you. I, of course, recognize that the words themselves are not on the same level.
However, historically the use of "girl" instead of "woman" when referring to someone who is clearly a woman does have roots of keeping women in their place, infantilizing them, demeaning them, and reminding them they they are not - and never will be- at the same level as men. That is history, and it is fact.
Now, if someone used a word that was offensive to you, and you explained to them why and how it was offensive to you, would you give them a pass if they continued to use that word because "they didn't mean anything offensive by it?"
That is the argument with men calling women "girls"- they don't mean anything offensive by it, therefore they get to keep using it, even if they are told over and over again that it is offensive. They just don't care.
Further, the argument by at least 4 men on this thread that "You girls call yourself girls so we can call you girls!!!1!!" is the same argument that is used by ignorant white people who say it's ok to say the N word because black people use it. Yes, in both cases, the person defending their use of a word that is clearly offensive to some people, is pure ignorance.
And I see such ignorance on these boards all the time. A cursory glance of the first two pages of the Relationships section showed me NINE THREADS where a woman is referred to as a "Girl" either in the thread title or in the first two sentences. Nine. Take a wild guess how many there were referring to a man as a "Boy."
That is what is happening here. The word I described I have never, ever used toward another person, and never will, because I am aware of the history and the used. How many men will stop calling women "girl" when they become aware of the history and use?
You can't universally outlaw the term "girl." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm 49 years old. It doesn't offend me and never has ... in the proper context. The other day my male personal trainer said, "What's up, girl?" as I walked in, and it was hilarious. The county mayor hugged me recently upon greeting and said, "How you doin', girl?" I never once doubted his respect for me and my abilities since I understand the context of our conversation.
If a man is told that his use of the term is offensive and he still persists in using it, then that is a problem. But getting to know the other person and their preferences is part of the dating process.
I don't know where the OP lives, but I don't know too many men who are "terrified" to talk to women (or girls ). Come to the south, OP. Very few are scared of "us" here.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 06-17-2017 at 03:49 PM..
You can't universally outlaw the term "girl." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Never did I suggest any such thing.
Quote:
I'm 49 years old. It doesn't offend me and never has ... in the proper context. The other day my male personal trainer said, "What's up, girl?" as I walked in, and it was hilarious. The county mayor hugged me recently upon greeting and said, "How you doin', girl?" I never once doubted his respect for me and my abilities since I understand the context of our conversation.
If a man is told that his use of the term is offensive and he still persists in using it, then that is a problem. But getting to know the other person and their preferences is part of the dating process.
I don't know where the OP lives, but I don't know too many men who are terrified to talk to women. Come to the south, OP. Very few are scared of "us" here.
And where did I say what I was talking about was only in a dating context?
Grown men should not be referring to grown women as girls unless they personally know that woman and know it doesn't bother her. I am 42 and I should not be referred to as "the new girl" at a new job. I should not be referred to as a "girl" in any context. This is not a difficult concept.
I learned a looooooooooooooooong time ago that I will never ever get everyone to behave the way I want. The fact is that in this case, one person's preference (the OP) is not universal. Y'all can sit there and be mad about being called girl "in any context," but context matters because this is not a workplace thread anyway.
^^^It kinda is for me, it doesn't bother me to be referred as "girl", "a girl", "one of the girls" or any other use.
Of course any word can be used negatively, but I haven't had that occur.
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However, historically the use of "girl" instead of "woman" when referring to someone who is clearly a woman does have roots of keeping women in their place, infantilizing them, demeaning them, and reminding them they they are not - and never will be- at the same level as men. That is history, and it is fact.
Now, if someone used a word that was offensive to you, and you explained to them why and how it was offensive to you, would you give them a pass if they continued to use that word because "they didn't mean anything offensive by it?"
I used to work in a small insurance agency office, a branch office of the parent company. As recent as 5 years ago, when my boss was at head office for a training day, part of it included training the male agents to refer to their predominantly female staff as team members and not girls. Male staff certainly werent referred to as boys. Considering we did the lion's share of the work to bring in and maintain the customer base, the language used needed to not diminish our contributions or who we are as people.
In a professional setting it is demeaning, not to mention in our specific office, we were both older than the agent. It was quite a challenge for the agent to modify his language, and he was 37 at the time. IMO, it shows how ingrained it has been in society, that a man born in 1975 is using that terminology.
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). Come to the south, OP. Very few are scared of "us" here.
