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Bumped into a niece in a supermarket in the week, she said, "Heard about X and Y?"
X and Y are distant relatives, he's late sixties, she's mid fifties, (I think).
No I said, what's up?
She said her mother, the man's distant cousin, had seen him and got the story.
Apparently X, the guy, has put a deposit on an apartment, and moved out, suggesting that they put their house on the market, and Y can have the lion's share, plus anything else she needs.
Surprised to say the least, I asked for the back story, if there was one.
They have no children, although X has two adult kids from his first marriage, and as far as anyone knew, the couple enjoyed a reasonable lifestyle, he is a transport manager for a trucking firm, she works a 3 day week in an office.
They have always vacationed in nice places, Florida, Australia, South Africa, they seemed an ideal couple, with an idyllic life, they'd go out for dinner at least once per week, sometimes he'd finish early and fix something for them both, but most often she'd whip up something good.
They weren't very well known by the family, but she was famed for her good cooking.
Anyway, it seems that a few months ago, she got heavily into Face Book, and Ancestry, she'd come home, sit down with a glass of wine, get her cell out, and sit there for hours at a time, scrolling back and forth.
If he tried to talk to her, she'd shush him, and concentrate on the phone, if something was coming on TV that they both usually watch, he'd tell her, and she'd say, you watch, but record it, I'll watch it when I have time.
He'd tried to tell her that this wasn't good for them, but she didn't seem bothered, and went back to Face Book.
Eventually it got to him, and he sat down with her, and tried to tell her that things weren't going right as he saw it, but it didn't work, so even though facing life alone at his age daunted him a bit, he could see no other option, and has started the ball rolling.
Of course, we're all saying, and hoping, surely they'll pull back from the brink, but who knows?
Other than the fact that it involves being on a computer,it's not a new thing that people become so engrossed in some new hobby or enterprise and devote so much time to it that it interferes with a relationship.
The 'why' of it is for her to know regardless of how their life appeared to be to outsiders.
Status:
"This too shall pass. But possibly, like a kidney stone."
(set 25 days ago)
36,142 posts, read 18,424,220 times
Reputation: 51241
I'm puzzled. You ran into your niece, in the grocery store, and from there she described distant family that is unclear how they are related to you.
They're breaking up because the woman spends too much time on electronics. You mention other things about them, they enjoy vacations, she's a good cook. You go into detail about their daily schedules, including the job of the man, and whether he sometimes came home early to cook dinner together.
And now these people we can't tell how they're related to you, but not closely enough for you to know they're divorcing, are.
What's this really about? This can't be the real story, is it?
I feel like I've just listened to Norm McDonald's "The Moth" joke, although at least that had a fabulous punchline.
I think the OP is pondering whether this is a 'new thing' - relationships ending because one of them distanced themselves with technology/social media. I don't think it's new at all - I knew of Facebook before even MySpace was a thing, it was initially only accessible with a college email address (.edu). And people have been using the internet to flirt/cheat/kill time since it's been available. Before that, there were other pursuits people engaged to distance themselves from a partner.
Third hand information about a very distant relative? I'd say we really have no idea about what actually goes on behind closed doors.
Perhaps my thread title was misleading, what I meant was, is this GOING to be a new thing, someone, usually female it seems, getting so deeply engrossed in Face Book, or whatever, to the extent that it creates a schism between her and her partner, and eventually drives them apart.
Forgive me for saying usually female, but I'm not on Face Book, and I don't have any male friends that are, or at least mention that they are, but it would appear that every female I know, friend or relation is on it.
Perhaps my thread title was misleading, what I meant was, is this GOING to be a new thing, someone, usually female it seems, getting so deeply engrossed in Face Book, or whatever, to the extent that it creates a schism between her and her partner, and eventually drives them apart.
Forgive me for saying usually female, but I'm not on Face Book, and I don't have any male friends that are, or at least mention that they are, but it would appear that every female I know, friend or relation is on it.
This is a very sad story. It's especially sad to hear how a devoted partner tried multiple times to wake his SO up to the fact that the relationship was unravelling due to her addiction. IMO electronics are creating a nation of obsessive-compulsive people, of all ages.
However, I am compelled to point out to you, that while you feel this is almost exclusively an issue pertaining to women, the cases of marriages and LTR's breaking up due to guys addicted to internet porn are infinitely more numerous.
polyamory--- that's a new thing- maybe NOT -but I'm in shock - because there's kids in the house least 3-8-12-17 who have to now swallow this- and pretend-- its all just FINE- I know kids adjust-
He tossed aside his marriage after only a "few months" of his wife being distracted by a new hobby? Seems premature of him unless he was looking for an excuse.
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