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Would be curious to know what the comment was and whether or not she felt (rightly or wrongly)there just could have been an inking of truth to it,
As a sort of academic pursuit I understand your curiosity, but would that in any way be relevant practically other than as information for her should she choose to be in another relationship some day?
So my bf and I had a fight last night. He said something that offended me but I didn't know he was saying it as a joke. We were lying on the couch watching TV and I slapped him and I said 'I hate you'! .
I ran to my room. He didn't follow me. He said "Listen I will see you in a few days. I am too angry to stay." I burst in to tears saying I am sorry and I didn't mean to slap him. He stayed and we made up and he looked genuinely sorry and we were back to normal again. But I can't help it but this morning I woke up feeling very guilty, depressed and embarrassed I slapped him. Of course it wasn't like I slapped him so hard (I know that doesn't matter). I just don't want him to think I am some crazy lady, lose my temper at the drop of a hat! I am not like that. What are your guys experience? Do you really think we can move on from this? I would appreciate a man's experience. Last night after the fight we did make love and everything seemed to be fine. But in the back of my mind I just hope it doesn't change anything. We are together one year. I feel awful and I cried again this morning.
Thank you.
You should feel embarrassed and ashamed. What you did was unacceptable.
Having sex with him afterwards clearly isn't an adequate compensatory mechanism b/c if it was, you wouldn't have woken up and cried.
A one time physical assault is one time too many.
If I was him, I'd drop you, and quick. In no way shape or form should you ever believe it's okay to physically assault another person b/c s/he said something you didn't like.
As a sort of academic pursuit I understand your curiosity, but would that in any way be relevant practically other than as information for her should she choose to be in another relationship someday?
Nope...just nosy
Now, on second thought, yes, it may.
Consider the other part of my post. Is it possible she is insecure ( or correct) in thinking he might not have been kidding.
Otherwise, why would she have NOT just thought he was kidding?
So my bf and I had a fight last night. He said something that offended me but I didn't know he was saying it as a joke. We were lying on the couch watching TV and I slapped him and I said 'I hate you'! .
I ran to my room. He didn't follow me. He said "Listen I will see you in a few days. I am too angry to stay." I burst in to tears saying I am sorry and I didn't mean to slap him. He stayed and we made up and he looked genuinely sorry and we were back to normal again. But I can't help it but this morning I woke up feeling very guilty, depressed and embarrassed I slapped him. Of course it wasn't like I slapped him so hard (I know that doesn't matter). I just don't want him to think I am some crazy lady, lose my temper at the drop of a hat! I am not like that. What are your guys experience? Do you really think we can move on from this? I would appreciate a man's experience. Last night after the fight we did make love and everything seemed to be fine. But in the back of my mind I just hope it doesn't change anything. We are together one year. I feel awful and I cried again this morning.
Thank you.
No, you're normal.
Its all perfectly typical of young lovers.
You'll be just fine.
Nope...just nosy
Now, on second thought, yes, it may.
Consider the other part of my post. Is it possible she is insecure ( or correct) in thinking he might not have been kidding.
Otherwise, why would she have NOT just thought he was kidding?
I think she's a bundle of insecurities. I don't think you're trying to justify her actions, but when the discussion turns to why she hit her boyfriend, I get a little concerned that someone will suggest there's a reason that justifies her actions. It might benefit her to know why she did this, assuming she'll see it as a serious breach and then commit to sorting out why she behaved as she did. I'm not really confident she will though, since he's given her a pass and since nookie seems to heal all wounds for some people.
I know most people would probably let it go if it was a single occurrence rather than a repeating pattern of behavior. However, something like that would personally dig up some childhood memories that I worked my whole life to get past. I don't think I would get passed it so quickly. I inherited that type of behavior.. it is shameful. I promised that I would never raise my hand to anyone in my family and I have kept that promise.
When we became parents. We promise ourselves that the history of verbal and physical abuse stops with us. Our children will never see what we have seen. We have kept that promise.
I know you apologized and you feel guilty about it.... that is a good thing. Abusers often do not feel guilt nor feel that they have wronged. Your BF has accepted your apology and moved passed it. Take this as a second chance to figure out why you reacted that way and how to better vent that knee jerk anger.
An instant reaction of the slap, although not excusable, doesn't bother me as much as being able to say "I hate you".
Agree very much. I don't advocate hitting, but I know there are times in an argument people say the ugliest, meanest things they can.
I realize this is a double standard and will not be a popular opinion here, but I think there are things a man can say to a woman that could warrant a slap. I wouldn't, for example, call a woman a w***e without expecting a bit of physical blowback.
. I'm not really confident she will though, since he's given her a pass and since nookie seems to heal all wounds for some people.
It would appear by her posting here about how awful she feels about it, that she isn't passing it off as nothing.And, you're right. I am in no way justifying, simply understanding that sometimes we aren't all we'd like ourselves to be.
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