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when The flirtations starts it makes everybody uncomfortable especially the partner it goes on And on but one day it stops dead everyone relaxes except his partner
That is because now they are having an affair
Sooo recently I have had the same issue. I have only been married a few months, in my mind I still want to be in the honeymoon phase. We just met up with my friends for the lovely New Year’s Eve, and had the worst reawakening. My or our friend from school(let’s name him Sam) who dates Random girls has I believe finally found his match. And I didn’t think of her as anything in the beginnin, but the last time we hung out my husband seemed very interested in her as she has her own business. I guess it’s the entrepreneurial personality that attracted him, but I could not stop the pangs of jealously. The surprising thing was he made all the plans with her instead of texting his best friend Sam. During the dinner the two of them got along really well, not gonna lie this girl was very provocative she wore a low cut dress, wanted all the attention to herself didn’t let anyone else talk half the time we were there and on top of that made an outrageous comment that when she eats too much everygoes to the bottom part of my body, which I rather find not to be true as she is even skinner than I am and wore a really tight dress so everything would be bursting out. And after we came back he couldn’t stop talking about how she has her own business and he has always been trying to build one. But I still don’t understand why text the girl separately instead of texting His best friend Sam to make plans? Am I just paranoid or is there something I don’t know. I once took his phone and found a screen shot of one of her pictures from Instagram like a picture of a story she posted. Now If I ask him I know what he will say he will say he saved it to buy the skin care products/make up for me.
But I can’t stop how I am feeling. I haven’t confronted him and I don’t want to not be with him but at the same time I wish he talked about me this excitedly. Before we went to the dinner he showered, shaved and also put on a shirt which he believed shows off his muscles. I guess all in anticipation to be in her precense. The more I talk about this the more I want to take a break from him and from my marriage.
Ami I just paranoid? Should I check his phone to see what they actually talked about?
I think I just need someone to talk to, can’t go to my friends cause we are all friends.
I am a bit confused about the timeline here. It sounds like you found out this interest in her on New Years Eve but then you found out that him and her have been planning this event? So since when do you think he has a crush on her?
How did he even have her phone number?
Now that there is nothing to plan, are they still in contact?
Is he actually building a business or seriously planning on opening one - aka is there a reason why they should stay in contact?
Why did you not ask him why he doesn't plan with Sam?
It's wrong of him to go on the defensive ala "I can't believe you don't trust me" thing because I can guarantee if the tables were flipped and YOU were the one having such a close friendship with a guy, he wouldn't like it.
I also think he needs to be catering to your feelings more than those of this friend. He says he "doesn't have the heart to let her down" -- he should "not have the heart to hurt YOU."
There's a guy I used to work with who I get along with REALLY well. We clicked from Day 1 and we can chat for hours. However, since I got into a relationship with my husband I let that friendship slide to a more casual tone where we might email every few months or so to see how each other is doing. This is because it would be inappropriate for me to be carrying on a close friendship that would hurt my husband. Even though my husband trusts me, and I am trustworthy, it would still hurt him because he's not an emotionless robot.
Where is the boyfriend in all this?
Exactly this, I'm sure he wouldn't stand for it if the the tables were turned!! Also telling you he'd end the friendship and then not following through with it and not telling you, that's a red flag no matter what his excuse is.
It's kind of hard to stop the train once it has left the station. If they have feelings for each other it might go underground and increase the intensity of their connection as it is now forbidden.
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