My boyfriend told me he feels smothered by me but I love our schedule, how do I fix this? (guys, single)
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I'm a chick, and I would go batchit crazy if a guy came over to my house every single day and slept over all weekend.
DO NOT MOVE IN.
Go find a hobby or something else to do, and stop going over there every day after work. And stop spending the entire weekend at his place. Make it whatever your date night is, then go home the next morning after breakfast.
Okay, I guess I have a warped idea of what being in a relationship is supposed to be like. Am I weird for wanting to be around him on the weekend? We've been dating over 2 years now.
If I move home in February I'll have to find a new job and re-adjust to living with my parents because I can't afford to live alone and don't want a random roommate, and also probably wouldn't be able to find a 6 month lease.
Do not move in w/him. It could kill the relationship. Ask your LL if you can have a 6-month lease. You'll be going "away" to grad school? That would probably really help the relationship; it would give him the space he needs, since you wouldn't be coming over every. single. day. You could see him on weekends. That's IF you decide the relationship is worth saving. He seems to be a person who needs his space, he needs alone time. Think about whether that would work for you, as a long-term relationship thing. It sounds like the answer is "no".
Yeah that's the problem. I think we are incompatible. If I see him less than I do now, I won't be as happy. I guess that makes me needy but I like how things are. I also respect his need for space so I don't want him to have to compromise on his happiness either.
I agree that grad school will help the relationship because of the distance, but I will miss him terribly. If we moved in together and relocated, he would resent me. There is no win win.
I can ask my landlord about the 6 month extension.
Okay, I guess I have a warped idea of what being in a relationship is supposed to be like.
Most people have their own things to do. They go out with friends to a movie, or go play tennis or golf. They don't spend every waking moment they aren't at work with their SO.
Even married couples spend a decent amount of time away from each other.
Every single weekend? I don't know too many women I dated that would be down with that. They have other people in their lives too.
Well I explained in the OP I'm gone completely 1 weekend of every month and on the other weekends I see friends on Friday nights. I don't have any other friends to see. I thought seeing him Saturday and Sunday was pretty normal. I mean obviously there's some weekends he's not around or some that I see friends on 2 nights, but it always changes.
Most people have their own things to do. They go out with friends to a movie, or go play tennis or golf. They don't spend every waking moment they aren't at work with their SO.
Even married couples spend a decent amount of time away from each other.
You might not of read the OP, I explained that we both have things to do on most weekends. It's like 40/60.
Yeah that's the problem. I think we are incompatible.
You two are in for some major changes.
Grad school will change things anyway. You will probably make both of you miserable if you move in with him for the 6 months. Logistics and leases are terrible reasons to move in together. You should ONLY move in if you both can't get enough of each other.
You don't have a warped idea of a relationship. You just have a different idea than he does.
Check into the 6-month lease, and then move home if you have to. Or find a place near your grad school. Then have that talk about what the two of you REALLY want.
Most people have their own things to do. They go out with friends to a movie, or go play tennis or golf. They don't spend every waking moment they aren't at work with their SO.
Even married couples spend a decent amount of time away from each other.
You might not of read the OP, that is not our situation.
Well I explained in the OP I'm gone completely 1 weekend of every month and on the other weekends I see friends on Friday nights. I don't have any other friends to see. I thought seeing him Saturday and Sunday was pretty normal. I mean obviously there's some weekends he's not around or some that I see friends on 2 nights, but it always changes.
You can spend time by yourself! He might want time alone or to spend time with other friends or family even if you only have no other friends to see. It is not normal to spend the entire weekend with someone and 4 nights a week when you are dating. That is a lot. Most people want time to have other interests.
Grad school will change things anyway. You will probably make both of you miserable if you move in with him for the 6 months. Logistics and leases are terrible reasons to move in together. You should ONLY move in if you both can't get enough of each other.
You don't have a warped idea of a relationship. You just have a different idea than he does.
Check into the 6-month lease, and then move home if you have to. Or find a place near your grad school. Then have that talk about what the two of you REALLY want.
That's a really good point. He's agreeing to it because I'd have a small room for my computer/desk, makeup stuff and closet so I'd have time away from him technically (I play video games) but I still don't think it will work. Last weekend he got upset that I wanted to get in bed at 11 because "he had things to do" in his room. Then I was like okay, I'm going to head home but he didn't want me to.
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