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"Half your age" might not be OK in some circumstances, but do "half your age plus 7", and you're golden .
You remind me of my ex-husband. He's 12 years my senior. We married when I was 25 and he 37, so he loved to go around glibly saying the same thing. Yeah, it sure was "golden" for him and his ego to have married a younger woman.
The problem was that it certainly wasn't "golden" for me, which is often the case for women who are with significantly older men long-term (depends on the woman). Unfortunately, sometimes men are so busy thinking about what's good for them, that they don't consider what's best for the woman.
Legal age in most states is 16. I think the majority chatting here are not advocating nor involved with someone that age. Also 15 years age difference at one end (16 to 31) is one issue, at the other end (55-70) it is asking for problems. In between (say 35 to 50) it can work quite well.
A 15 year age difference "can work quite well" for whom? The (younger) woman? If that's what you're thinking, it depends on the woman. It probably wouldn't work for me.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 11-23-2017 at 12:54 AM..
I was just dating a lady in her forties about 10 years older than me. If she got pregnant, the risk of miscarriage, birth defects, etc increase substantially.
A 20 year old female is prime to become a mother. Men can reproduce far longer than women without adverse reproductive effects.
Long story short, there is nothing wrong with a man dating, marrying, and having a child even with a women half of his age given of course she is legal. Can't even find anything in the Bible calling out against it.
So date away. There's nothing wrong with it. Men are more stable to provide financially generally when older also. There's a lot of reasons how that is actually good for society as a whole to embrace.
Anyone who thinks it's a good idea for men to reproduce well into middle age or beyond has likely never raised kids. Just because men CAN biologically have kids after, say, 45 doesn't mean they should.
My ex-husband was very fit for his age (still is), and, yes, he's been a fairly involved dad. But it has utterly, completely worn. Him. Out. And that was as of at least 10 years ago, when our youngest (now 14) was a preschooler. He's even more exhausted and worn-out looking now.
If men in their 30s want kids "someday," I suggest you get cracking. Pronto. For your own sakes, if for no other reason, begin families sooner rather than later.
As for your comment about 20-year-old women, I have a bright, lovely 20-year-old daughter. She is not "prime" to become a mother. She's getting her education. Currently an undergraduate and hopefully will her continue her studies into graduate or professional school. I also want her to travel, to explore the world, and to enjoy her youth. I want her to experience life in a way that I didn't get to when I was in my 20s (because I married at 25).
She and her peers have their own dreams and goals. They are NOT here to make a significantly older man look good or to give him children (and their youth) because he was too self-absorbed and/or too busy effing around to settle into a committed relationship when he was younger.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 11-23-2017 at 01:03 AM..
Anything over 10 years isn't a good idea IMO for a lot of reasons.
That's all I got, and I can speak from experience.
Apparently it wasn’t a good idea for you jrt, maybe for others too, but as a blanket cut-off point, I think that 10 years is the wrong number to set the bar, although personally I don’t see that there should be a bar set for mature adults in the first place.
I was 41 when I sleepwalked into conversation with an attractive 22 y.o. in a bar in SE London one night.
Fast forward thirty plus years, and we’re still together, oh, she could start an argument with me at the drop of a hat, but we’re rock solid in our relationship.
We actually have a number of women here who purposely seek out younger men, often listing the same kinds of reasons that men do who seek out younger women. We just had a lengthy thread from a woman who was aghast at the prospect of dating old looking men her age. She was 35 I think
I think a lot of older women don't like to admit that they are not attracted to a lot of men their age. Or that they prefer saying they can't find a good man when what they really mean is they aren't physically attracted to their age group. Men are way more vocal about it than women that's for sure.
Maybe some people just can’t be attracted to people over a certain age. It might be problematic, but maybe that’s just how they’re wired. If they refuse to date people closer to their age, that’s on them.
I think there's a lot of truth to this. Some men and women are only physically attracted to youth and can't go beyond dating anyone their own age.
I am seeing this dynamic playing out in the condo below me. A well-off guy who at 62, met and brought home a 27-year-old Filipino girl. I think this is his 4th marriage. They've been married 3 years now. She fixed him up with dyed hair, they work out, go traveling the world together. He looks good for 65, now.
I noticed she does like "his" kind of music, does most of the healthy and exotic cooking; helps him deal with all his rentals. He calls her his "memory stick" as she can keep track of all their stuff in her younger brain.
Yes, she's gorgeous, smart as can be, dotes on him. He rescued her out of poverty and danger in the literal jungle where she had no chance. She's sweet too; colored my hair for me.
I think the difference here is a cultural one. She doesn't seem to mind being around all us retirees. And so far none of us mind her parading her youthful, toned body in skimpy clothes over the complex, LOL.
Oh, he's long ago gotten "fixed", and I guess that's good with her. Watching them together IS an interesting observation. They have admitted to having trouble at border crossings and getting her visas though.
You remind me of my ex-husband. He's 12 years my senior. We married when I was 25 and he 37, so he loved to go around glibly saying the same thing. Yeah, it sure was "golden" for him and his ego to have married a younger woman.
The problem was that it certainly wasn't "golden" for me, which is often the case for women who are with significantly older men long-term (depends on the woman). Unfortunately, sometimes men are so busy thinking about what's good for them, that they don't consider what's best for the woman.
Were you forced into the marriage?
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