Would you break NO CONTACT if you were me? HELP (wife, boyfriend)

[Anotherguy991]

Hello everyone, not a native english speaker – SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH. (M – 26 yo) I really need some help.

Been with a girl (25 y.o) for ~ 4 months (very cold, emotion-less, introvert, never opened to discussion about us, etc). I knew she was not my type but somehow I thought I could teach her some things about relationships; she was the kind of inexperienced girl and very selfish (she had like 3 – 4 relationships, the longest being 10 months, others around 3 – 5 months). I liked her mostly because she had a very attractive look – mainly the face but her body was not so attractive. I saw her as a trophy but I guess I fell in love with her. Sex was bad – she was very, very inexperienced and I don’t miss sex with her at all – with almost all my exes i missed sex except her.

She was cold all our relationship and she told me that she loves me but that’s how she is and cannot change that. We started fighting, I wasn’t feeling being loved for days – she would rather stay alone than spend time with me (again, she told me that’s her and just accept the fact that she loves me but she cannot do more than that).

Sometimes, she was trying to be warmer and affectionate but it was always just a matter of 2 – 3 days then she was going back at her cold and uninterested behavior. I realized how different we are but still I liked her and I was getting involved more and more. I was the first boyfriend she introduces to her family too. Somehow she was going on the good way but it looked like it was not natural and I was not feeling comfortable in that situation.

We had a plan to go out in the afternoon with some of her friends and I said maybe we can go out the a club in the evening too with her friends and some of my friends (actually my BFF and his future wife). She said I can go solo with my friends in the club if I want but she won't come just because I told her that my BFF likes to party a lot and she is not ready to meet them in that situation (going to the club) plus she is scared that i may change and behave bad. I assured her that I will act completely normal (we went out until then with her friends in the club and everything was OK) but she kept saying that I can go solo if i want. I canceled all the thing with my friends. The next day she came to me saying that her friends suggested we can go in the club in the evening and she asked me to talk back to my friends and tell them we go out in the club.

This was the moment I realized this thing is going down for me and I couldn’t accept this selfish behavior anymore. I started being colder and I told her that some things broke inside of me but I still care about her.
We had like 2 – 3 days of no talking, no meeting, just some random texts.
She waited for me to go to her place to give her a present for a special anniversary that she was waiting. We had a fight, she yelled like crazy and I hang up.
Called her after 30 mins but she didn't respond at the phone some hours in a row and did that by purpose as a punishment because 2 days before I couldn't pick up on her call and couldn't send her a text while being at gym for like 3 hrs and she got mad - so I did other plans.

She went online on fb,wapp, IG just to show me she can have the same behavior as I did. Told her i was calling her for reconciliation and to go to her place but it was too late when she called because I had other plans. She was a very indecisive person and I couldn't rely on any plans with her.

Told her I did other plans because she didn't answer for so many hours but I truly wanted to go to her place in the first place. I said I'll call her back in 10 minutes - i was really busy at that moment. She called me back immediately telling me it is over because we don't match. I asked her if she was sure, she said yes.

In the past, we talked about the eventuality of breaking up and we promised each other we'll talk face to face but she broke up with me on the phone. I started no contact and blocked her the moment she broke up with me on the phone. She got mad and texted me. I ignored her.
I felt like she actually wanted me to beg her not to break up with me. I started no contact the moment she broke up with me on the phone. She texted me asking why I blocked her but i didn t respond. She came to my house to give each other things back. She wanted to talk but i just left immediately and closed the door. She really had no respect for me after all of this.

We had a plan for a trip this month and she told me she'll cancel the accommodation - which she eventually did, and gave me the money back.The tickets were bought by me as a present for her birthday - so i found another accommodation and I'm going solo - she won't come.
ACtually she got a little mad cause i told her i'll go there by myself.After 3 days she came to my place to give our things back. I didn t talk to her at all, just gave all her clothes and closed the door.

Some days ago we met at a party and I totally ignored her. After 1 hour she came to me and asked what i’m doing. I said simply “okay”. She tried to start a conversation but I was keeping NC. She asked if it is so bad that i cannot close the door and avoid talking to her; I ignored what she said, I got up and just left her alone there.

I know that she is not my type but I still like her and somehow I miss her.
She had no respect for me and for what happened between us. I’m just very confused : I know she is not for me and I wouldn’t be happy with her on the long run but on the other way I don’t want to feel sorry for losing her interest in me at all (somehow i still think she is interested in me : she tried talking to me twice, she told me that she won’t forget what was between us).


The thing is that next week it is her birthday. I know that just my ego is hurt now but I m just thinking that maybe I could have had more patience with her and wait more.
I’m scared that if I won’t send her a happy birthday text all our chances are lost as she will really hate me that much and won’t talk to me again. But what if she really got over and won’t talk to me? Should I brake NC to tell her happy birthday? Sorry for the long post and I hope you can give me any ideas. Thank you in advance. Peace.

[chiluvr1228]

I skimmed this short novel and my only question is this: "do you love each other?" If not keep looking and it sounds like both of you need to mature some.

[behindthescreen]

Relationship is not going anywhere.

Too young, selfish, inexperienced and not a match. Move on.

[Vacanegro]

Dude the only way you are going to get over her is to keep the NC. The relationship sounds very unbalanced and just reinforces what you say about you two being a poor match.

You are hurt but keep the NC and avoid her. Don't be mean or speak badly of her - just ignore her and focus on other things. It may take a couple of months but you will get over her.

[Anotherguy991]

Thank you so much for your response!!! I really appreciate it.
Somehow I care about her but I know I cared about other girls more than I care about her (I had 3 LTRS - 3 yrs, 1 yr, 1 yr). On the other hand I know she won't change and she is not the same type as I am. Some things were great when we were together and she was nice and warm but then all the relationship was falling apart when she was going cold and distant.

For example, one day I decided to skip gym and go to her place one night after we had a fight (because she asked me to and she said she wants me near her that night) even though I knew I was going to spend at least 2 hrs on my way back to work (compared with 10 minutes from my home) and I had no clothes for the next day, etc. Then the next day she was supposed to come at my house and sleep that night but she said she would spend too much time on the road (she forgot her clothes at her house) and she said "I won't lose 2 hrs on the road just to stay with you 1 and 1/2 hr this night".

She said sorry and accepted it sounded so bad but still..It was so disappointing for me after I did all those things for her.

Thanks again for your response. Peace!

[Auraliea]

Just leave it alone.

I see nothing to salvage here. You know it's just your ego talking, but she doesn't sound like a peach herself. You noted majority of the things essential for a relationship are basically nonexistent here, so I don't understand why you're still obsessing over this woman.

Let it go. Ya'll aren't a match.

[Anotherguy991]

I ran into a rebound relationship (2 weeks) with a very nice girl but I just cannot do it. Today I m going to break up with her because I don t want her to get hurt. Good thing that we haven't slept together yet so I'll sleep good at night knowing she won't cry about it.

I'm actually a really good, kind, caring guy but I always end up hurt. Almost all of my exes told me at some point after our relationship was over that they miss me and they couldn't find a guy like me. 4 yrs after my longest relationship (that lasted 3 years) I met her and we kissed and she told me how much she misses me and that no one is like me (she was in a relationship for 2 yrs with another guy LOL).

These girls always realize what they lost after they break up with me and that's so fcked up.

Whatever, I just hope that my current gf won't suffer too much and I hope she'll understand that I ran into something way too fast and I wasn't prepared. I'll aim on gym and my personal upgrade.

P.S. : Exes also regret losing me because I totally changed my life in the last 2 yrs and lost ~ 40 kg, another lifestyle, going to gym, getting shred. Gym will save me but I just wanted to make sure that keeping up the NC is the best thing to do. Somehow I wanted a 2nd opinion.

P.S.2 : Sorry for my english

Thank you very much for replies. I truly appreciate them. Peace.

[Runninglikethieves]

Originally Posted by Anotherguy991

I ran into a rebound relationship (2 weeks) with a very nice girl but I just cannot do it. Today I m going to break up with her because I don t want her to get hurt. Good thing that we haven't slept together yet so I'll sleep good at night knowing she won't cry about it.

I'm actually a really good, kind, caring guy but I always end up hurt. Almost all of my exes told me at some point after our relationship was over that they miss me and they couldn't find a guy like me. 4 yrs after my longest relationship (that lasted 3 years) I met her and we kissed and she told me how much she misses me and that no one is like me (she was in a relationship for 2 yrs with another guy LOL).

These girls always realize what they lost after they break up with me and that's so fcked up.

Whatever, I just hope that my current gf won't suffer too much and I hope she'll understand that I ran into something way too fast and I wasn't prepared. I'll aim on gym and my personal upgrade.

P.S. : Exes also regret losing me because I totally changed my life in the last 2 yrs and lost ~ 40 kg, another lifestyle, going to gym, getting shred. Gym will save me but I just wanted to make sure that keeping up the NC is the best thing to do. Somehow I wanted a 2nd opinion.

P.S.2 : Sorry for my english

Thank you very much for replies. I truly appreciate them. Peace.

Don't break the no contact, dude.

Congrats on the weight loss. Take some time off (you seem to need it, as you don't wanna continue seeing this one you're currently seeing) and find someone else when you're ready.

[nybklyn]

Why would you even care about someone who wouldn't change from being selfish? You should stay away from those kind of people regardless of what they say.

[old_cold]

Funny that these people that say they go 'I blocked' go on to relate to what the other person said in an email or text or phone message.