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I have been with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, she is sweet and a very good person to be with when she is sober. Over the course of almost a year, we had numerous fights because she gets drunk and becomes a totally different person. She promised that they she will not do it again every time but always jumps back and forth every time. It is extremely stressful dealing with someone who is drunk and dont know what they are doing to someone else. She would apologize after a couple of days and we're back to together. But i do not know if this is the right person for me anymore. A great night out can change into a nightmare when she gets drunk. Have anyone had experience dealing with people like that before? Can i please get some advice...
Yes, I have dealt with it. My ex-wife was often a pretty mean person sober. She was either bipolar, Borderline, or both. She would drink using the excuse it would relax her so she could smoke cigarettes. She was really self medicating with alcohol. She would become a nice, charming, funny person for the first few hours. Then when she hit a certain point, she would become the meanest, most abusive ***** I ever saw. Maybe this is what you are dealing with, who knows.
Anyway, it is NOT a good sign. Please don't be an idiot like me an marry this girl. Get out now, and move on.
I have been with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, she is sweet and a very good person to be with when she is sober. Over the course of almost a year, we had numerous fights because she gets drunk and becomes a totally different person. She promised that they she will not do it again every time but always jumps back and forth every time. It is extremely stressful dealing with someone who is drunk and dont know what they are doing to someone else. She would apologize after a couple of days and we're back to together. But i do not know if this is the right person for me anymore. A great night out can change into a nightmare when she gets drunk. Have anyone had experience dealing with people like that before? Can i please get some advice...
Thanks!
I feel bad for you..but do agree though that for some reason this girlfriend is capable to hide her inner demons while sober.. but once getting drunk, her actual true nature comes out!!
I've known personally and professionally that there are some who are " Happy Drunks and those actually become NASTY and aggressive" . Luckily, thru my career dealing with inebriated types, I learned very young there is a true difference.
Both my boys were Happy Drinkers, and become "Lover's and not fighters" They both loved everybody around them.. and avoided any nastiness type drunks... Even inebriated to knew who to avoid and who was similar
Nastiness often gets suppressed while sober ( IF that's their nature ) so I guess your GF pretty well tells the tale.. thus my condolences in this doomed relationship
It can work if she's the kind of person that doesn't get hammered every time they have some booze. If she's ok with just a couple of glasses of wine or whatever and can be ok then it might be fine. If she's the kind that her aim is to get blasted when she has a few and if she gets means then I don't know.
If she is a good person, but can't deal with her addiction - I would help her go through counseling, 12 steps and whatever is needed to get her on a right track. If she really WANTS to get better.
If not - just leave, because your life isn't going to get any better, but will just spiral out of control. Dealing with an alcoholic is always very challenging, and most of the time not worth it especially at this early stage of your relationship.
The alcohol is like another person that takes over, so you aren't even interacting with her real self.
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