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I wonder what the psychology is behind always having another initiate a conversation. I'm currently in a situation where the person I'm with just won't initiate. We've discussed this, and for some reason she states she does not initiate stating she does not want to be a "bother". Oddly enough she's criticized me for not communicating enough with her. I pointed out the hypocrisy.
I think there is a psychology game factor at play, but I can't place my finger on it.
Why on earth would someone never initiate conversation? what is the psychology behind it?
Sounds like she is either a very poor communicator or has zero interest in communicating with you. Both would be a deal-breaker for me. It could be a huge red flag that y'all are not compatible.
Do y'all have much in common? Can she engage in a fairly intelligent conversation? How is she with other people?
Edit: Just saw your other post. Since she was born in another country, this could be a cultural issue. Her communication style may reflect how she was raised and what she is used to.
Sounds like she is either a very poor communicator or has zero interest in communicating with you. Both would be a deal-breaker for me. It could be a huge red flag that y'all are not compatible.
Do y'all have much in common? Can she engage in a fairly intelligent conversation? How is she with other people?
Strangely it's not that she can't have a conversation or that she is a poor communicator with other people. We have plenty in common.
I think it's more of a power thing or mind game defense mechanism to be honest. When asked, she states she doesn't want to be a "bother". I make sure she knows that she certainly isn't. When confronted early on in the relationship about not communicating enough with her, I pointed out the obvious that I am always the one that is to initiate the conversation, and that ultimately it takes two to communicate.
But here we are today and I still am the one initiating all conversations. When a prolonged period (a couple hours) goes by without my texting or calling, she gets dramatic and starts playing it off as I'm not interested or not caring or something.
Very very frustrating.
I believe somehow it is a type of defense mechanism or power play, but can't put my finger on why she can't be the one to even text "how's your day going" or whatever. I almost get the feeling that she's had a bad experience in the past with someone that stated she was a bother to her, but she hasn't opened up about that.
One thing I've grasped from her is that she is constantly concerned about if a separation were to occur being the 'innocent' party.
Of course it would all have to be painted as my fault. I think this has something to do with that thinking.
When a prolonged period (a couple hours) goes by without my texting or calling, she gets dramatic and starts playing it off as I'm not interested or not caring or something.
So this is more about communicating via text/phone than when you are together?
Having to text someone throughout the day or call them every couple of hours is a bit too needy for me.
Especially if this relationship is new, this is as good as it will ever get. Something to remember.
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