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Good thing women don't have to do that. I am so glad I haven't had to take a shower or leave my house since 1984. Saves a lot of time. The men arrive via Amazon drones.
FTR, I don't think I have ever met a man in my life who had to make 75 to 100 real-time, right there approaches in order to have a relationship. That's outrageous. Seriously...never ever. Not any type of guy, aggressive, shy, one nationality or another, acne, gorgeous, bald and snuffly when he laughs, dumpy bod, Adonis physique...any. Just...nope.
Now if we are talking about OLD approaches, sure, since you are counting DOZENS of spam approaches on any given day or week randomly, based on a picture that can't move and can't look back at you to indicate interest so you know there is at least SOME hope with the approach. I am not counting those since they are generally so indiscriminate and literally take a mouse click. "Time" my rear. Like you weren't going to spend those random 30 minutes clicking on woman after woman (or swiping) playing Call of Duty instead? Or watching old Breaking Bad episodes in old sweat pants while eating a bag of Doritos? Oh precious time...
But I don't think the poster was talking about OLD either since he complained he had to actually drive somewhere to view the selections and start just apparently swooping down (grocery stores? Seriously - as in a deliberate thing? Three or four A DAY? Dang, I'd get a major creeper vibe, just saying).
To a reasonable extent, excluding excessiveness like the grocery store example above, has any guy here who is complaining ever actually watched a girl get ready to go out? Or shop for clothes that will be just right? Groom, pluck, shave? Talk to three frinds for an hour trying to get everybody on the same page and to the same place? Get up off her rear and drive to places where singles will be since eligible men don't fall out of the sky? "Waste" the gas money? "Waste" the planning and time? "Waste" the cover charge and the appetizers? And probably drinks (FEW women just stand there looking stupid and literally have to pay for no drinks, ever)?
Sorry, these reasons for approaching being hard don't fly. Actually, none of them are exclusive to the approacher. Well, except the Von's marathon.
I dare suggest if a guy gets rejected 99 times in real time before finding a date, he is approaching women er...beyond his reach. 'Cause...come on.
Hey!!! What exactly is wrong with a skydiver?
But really, if guys have an issue with showering and at least putting on a clean outfit, then maybe things are not so bad as they make it seem.
I don't think it is a weird sentiment at all. If you have enough options coming to you, why would you go out and source your own options?
Also, approaching is far more labor intensive than you give it credit for being. I'll explain from the perspective of a male who has done many approaches.
First off, no matter what venue you choose to use for approaching, you have to shower and look presentable. Grooming takes time, shopping for clothes to be prepared for approach scenarios takes time. You have to either walk, drive, or take public transportation to the venue. That takes time.
You have to do research on which venues to use. Malls, grocery stores, bookstores, coffee shops, bars/nightclubs, gyms/fitness classes are common ones. Other less common ones but certainly can be applicable are the street, public transportation (probably only applicable in non-U.S.A. metros or trains/subways in big East Coast cities) and your own work site or space (not always applicable).
To do grocery store approaching, expect only one or two approaches for every 30 minutes you spend in a grocery store, and that's only applicable at grocery stores in singles conducive areas and at peak times, like weekends after 12 PM. You also have to get the conversation to about 10 minutes or so to have a decent chance of seeing her again. If you choose to spend 2 hours in well selected grocery stores, that's 3-4 approaches.
The gym is a tough venue because you have to catch the female in the split second before putting headphones or earbuds in, which females use to prevent approaches. At fitness classes, you have about a 3-5 minute window before or after classes, and you have to go through a 45-60 minute workout just to get in 1-2 approaches.
In bars/nightclubs, you can do a fair number of approaches, but more time is actually spent scanning the crowd than doing the approaches, and that's even after a high level of research on venue selection.
Most approaches will not result in furthering the cause.
If you get an approach that leads to a first date, you are ahead. If you get a female to show up for 3 dates, that's good.
It might take hundreds to approaches to achieve finding a meaningful relationship. Even 75-100 approaches just to get laid is not that awful of a ratio.
This is, as others have alluded to, dumb as ****.
Of course, most of the things you've listed here (minimal levels of personal hygiene, wearing clothing) are also done by the approachee (or most members of society). So, there is no more effort required to approach than there is to be approached (or to just go about your business. I mean, you do go buy groceries, right?)
This is a frightening, and relieving, look into the minds of "competitors".
Am I the only one who just can NOT imagine an "approach" happening in a place like a grocery store? I'm serious, does anyone actually do this? Has anyone ever gotten a date this way?
Like I recall ONE time, I saw a man shopping, and I thought he was really interesting looking and attractive. Maybe he had nice long hair or something, there have been times where that was kind of my thing. To the point where I followed him around the store, hoping he'd notice, look up, we could talk, something might happen... Thing is, though, I have zero idea if this rando would find me hot or repulsive. Some people think I'm really attractive. The guy who is into big booties and blonde hair isn't gonna. I'm either a wow and a wink, or a wierdo creeper, right? (*gasp!* Men aren't the only ones worried what others might think of them!) So there I was, awkward as hell, trying to place myself persistently in this man's path, staring at him, and pretending to "shop." LOL! Guess what? He never noticed I was even there.
And all along I'm thinking, "what are you doing? He's probably married. Any minute his wife or kid is gonna come from the other side of the store and join up with him, you're just being stupid. Go finish your shopping and quit stalking this poor man, you idiot."
I have made the occasional quip or comment to other shoppers, and the friendlier of them, we might exchange a sentence or two...but they quickly move on, even if the vibe is comfortable. We're all there to get our shopping done. Not to make new friends. Except one time this really nice old guy in a motor-cart at Walmart, he was like 80, and he tried to hold a conversation with me. I enjoyed spending my lunch break chatting with him, he seemed really sweet and just...kind of lonely for someone to talk to.
But seriously though, people actually try to get a date in the grocery store? I has a doubtful.
But seriously though, people actually try to get a date in the grocery store? I has a doubtful.
I feel like if people meet in a grocery store, it's more of a stars aligned properly thing rather than something they tried to do intentionally. It hasn't happened to me, but I know of people who struck up a conversation in a long checkout line, or he helped her get something off of a shelf and they got to talking. It wasn"t anything that either of them planned.
I feel like if people meet in a grocery store, it's more of a stars aligned properly thing rather than something they tried to do intentionally. It hasn't happened to me, but I know of people who struck up a conversation in a long checkout line, or he helped her get something off of a shelf and they got to talking. It wasn"t anything that either of them planned.
Hm. I guess. In all fairness I also have to keep in mind that I've almost always lived in fairly urban (or suburban) areas. In rural places, maybe people might talk to someone in the grocery store. I've observed that the more dense a population, the more people use behavioral boundaries to create personal space. Those who live in lower population density are maybe more likely to, for instance, know their neighbors.
Am I the only one who just can NOT imagine an "approach" happening in a place like a grocery store? I'm serious, does anyone actually do this? Has anyone ever gotten a date this way?
Like I recall ONE time, I saw a man shopping, and I thought he was really interesting looking and attractive. Maybe he had nice long hair or something, there have been times where that was kind of my thing. To the point where I followed him around the store, hoping he'd notice, look up, we could talk, something might happen... Thing is, though, I have zero idea if this rando would find me hot or repulsive. Some people think I'm really attractive. The guy who is into big booties and blonde hair isn't gonna. I'm either a wow and a wink, or a wierdo creeper, right? (*gasp!* Men aren't the only ones worried what others might think of them!) So there I was, awkward as hell, trying to place myself persistently in this man's path, staring at him, and pretending to "shop." LOL! Guess what? He never noticed I was even there.
And all along I'm thinking, "what are you doing? He's probably married. Any minute his wife or kid is gonna come from the other side of the store and join up with him, you're just being stupid. Go finish your shopping and quit stalking this poor man, you idiot."
I have made the occasional quip or comment to other shoppers, and the friendlier of them, we might exchange a sentence or two...but they quickly move on, even if the vibe is comfortable. We're all there to get our shopping done. Not to make new friends. Except one time this really nice old guy in a motor-cart at Walmart, he was like 80, and he tried to hold a conversation with me. I enjoyed spending my lunch break chatting with him, he seemed really sweet and just...kind of lonely for someone to talk to.
But seriously though, people actually try to get a date in the grocery store? I has a doubtful.
I don't see it happening in the grocery store either. Places where I had my biggest chances were at a bookstore, and a library.
Am I the only one who just can NOT imagine an "approach" happening in a place like a grocery store? I'm serious, does anyone actually do this? Has anyone ever gotten a date this way?
Like I recall ONE time, I saw a man shopping, and I thought he was really interesting looking and attractive. Maybe he had nice long hair or something, there have been times where that was kind of my thing. To the point where I followed him around the store, hoping he'd notice, look up, we could talk, something might happen... Thing is, though, I have zero idea if this rando would find me hot or repulsive. Some people think I'm really attractive. The guy who is into big booties and blonde hair isn't gonna. I'm either a wow and a wink, or a wierdo creeper, right? (*gasp!* Men aren't the only ones worried what others might think of them!) So there I was, awkward as hell, trying to place myself persistently in this man's path, staring at him, and pretending to "shop." LOL! Guess what? He never noticed I was even there.
And all along I'm thinking, "what are you doing? He's probably married. Any minute his wife or kid is gonna come from the other side of the store and join up with him, you're just being stupid. Go finish your shopping and quit stalking this poor man, you idiot."
I have made the occasional quip or comment to other shoppers, and the friendlier of them, we might exchange a sentence or two...but they quickly move on, even if the vibe is comfortable. We're all there to get our shopping done. Not to make new friends. Except one time this really nice old guy in a motor-cart at Walmart, he was like 80, and he tried to hold a conversation with me. I enjoyed spending my lunch break chatting with him, he seemed really sweet and just...kind of lonely for someone to talk to.
But seriously though, people actually try to get a date in the grocery store? I has a doubtful.
I approach women in public, anytime i Feel like it. Ive approached them in grocery store (succesfully), their place of work, on the streets, on a train, in church and anywhere else you can think of. Its absolutely and positively the most natural thing, for a man to approach a woman he finds attractive. I strongly suggest thinking about why that doesnt seem to be the case for you. Its unnatural and weird, to say the least.
I feel like if people meet in a grocery store, it's more of a stars aligned properly thing rather than something they tried to do intentionally. It hasn't happened to me, but I know of people who struck up a conversation in a long checkout line, or he helped her get something off of a shelf and they got to talking. It wasn"t anything that either of them planned.
Stars dont allign for men nor do we have the privilege of sitting on our hands, until ms right comes and knocks on our doors. We must gather courage to approach a stranger on the streets, facing potential nasty response, laughing, shut downs etc etc and ultimately rejection.
I feel like if people meet in a grocery store, it's more of a stars aligned properly thing rather than something they tried to do intentionally. It hasn't happened to me, but I know of people who struck up a conversation in a long checkout line, or he helped her get something off of a shelf and they got to talking. It wasn"t anything that either of them planned.
Me too, although I heard a super cute anecdote in a magazine like a gazillion years ago.
Apparently this guy saw a woman he thought was beautiful in a store. She was at the eggs cooler or whatever and she opened a carton and looked inside. Well, he was shy and didn't know what to say to get the conversation rolling so he opened his own carton. After a minute he looked up from the open carton he'd dutifully been staring at and asked the woman in confusion, "So, what is it we're looking for?"
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Or shop for clothes that will be just right? Groom, pluck, shave? Talk to three frinds for an hour trying to get everybody on the same page and to the same place? Get up off her rear and drive to places where singles will be since eligible men don't fall out of the sky? "Waste" the gas money? "Waste" the planning and time? "Waste" the cover charge and the appetizers? And probably drinks (FEW women just stand there looking stupid and literally have to pay for no drinks, ever)?
