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LOL, If you think women will show any type of empathy for guys that struggle in dating.
I think in realtime this is largely untrue. Just look at how many very, very, very average (in a number of ways) guys wind up being loved. Who definitely are given a chance. And wind up with someone. Married. Kids. A huge majority of guys who aren't perfect, maybe flub up on that date, but their women look past that to see what's inside...and discover they like what they see. I mean just look around you. You can see that.
But on the internet? Where anonymous people can yell red pill stuff, insist women scream constantly and are self-superior yet worthless, etc.? No. No empathy for that. SHOULD we be showing empathy for pure hatred, absolute distrust, and nasty condemnations? Probably not. Probably, these - always made behind the protection of anonymity, of course - should be put in their place.
Some of us said from the very beginning of this thread that sure, dating is hard for guys. AND for women. Who's lacking empathy, again? It couldn't be the faction that literally can not conceive that women receive rejection and have hearts that can be broken (and are), could it? The group that routinely insist "ugly," "fat" women with "baggage" who are "beyond their market value" and so on yet have "hundreds" of approaches by "quality men!!!" per day...not those? No way.
There are times when ideas SHOULD be smacked down. Like when they verge on the scarily hate-filled, where bad stuff can happen.
When I sense this brewing (and it always, always does at some point)...my empathy withers and is replaced with: oh. Just. Stop.
LOL, If you think women will show any type of empathy for guys that struggle in dating.
We can empathize all the livelong day, but what should we do about it? If a guy is struggling or undesirable, that's a bummer for him, but a woman's sex life is not a charity for the downtrodden.
Yeah... I missed " dating sensitivity class" .... I was feeling all bloated and crampy that day.
I skipped it because I'm a 5/6 on a good day, past my market value, and I couldn't find my sawed-off New Wave Feminist angry sensible heels so I'd have something to throw at the next polite guy. Who hates me.
I think in realtime this is largely untrue. Just look at how many very, very, very average (in a number of ways) guys wind up being loved. Who definitely are given a chance. And wind up with someone. Married. Kids. A huge majority of guys who aren't perfect, maybe flub up on that date, but their women look past that to see what's inside...and discover they like what they see. I mean just look around you. You can see that.
But on the internet? Where anonymous people can yell red pill stuff, insist women scream constantly and are self-superior yet worthless, etc.? No. No empathy for that. SHOULD we be showing empathy for pure hatred, absolute distrust, and nasty condemnations? Probably not. Probably, these - always made behind the protection of anonymity, of course - should be put in their place.
Some of us said from the very beginning of this thread that sure, dating is hard for guys. AND for women. Who's lacking empathy, again? It couldn't be the faction that literally can not conceive that women receive rejection and have hearts that can be broken (and are), could it? The group that routinely insist "ugly," "fat" women with "baggage" who are "beyond their market value" and so on yet have "hundreds" of approaches by "quality men!!!" per day...not those? No way.
There are times when ideas SHOULD be smacked down. Like when they verge on the scarily hate-filled, where bad stuff can happen.
When I sense this brewing (and it always, always does at some point)...my empathy withers and is replaced with: oh. Just. Stop.
Sue me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
We can empathize all the livelong day, but what should we do about it? If a guy is struggling or undesirable, that's a bummer for him, but a woman's sex life is not a charity for the downtrodden.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
LOL, If you think women will show any type of empathy for guys that struggle in dating.
JerZ and fleetiebelle were responding to HC, but I quoted them out of order.
A few men on this forum put an inordinate demand on all of us for emotional support. A handful of regulars and the once or twice per week drive by who sticks around and maybe participates in their thread, but disappears. For men and women who try to offer empathy and encouragement, it can get draining.
There's also the way topics are worded and how the authors participate. When a guy simply expresses his frustration in language like, "I'm 28 and my dating life sucks and I feel like I've done all I can......." most of us are pretty supportive. Who hasn't felt that way, whether we express it or not. Especially if the guy seems to consider suggestions or accept support, they're good.
Then the people who word things more like "I'm just to ugly to get any attention from women who all want tall good looking guys with money." That thins the herd of supportive people. What can you say to that person, especially if this is a frequent lament? I try something along the lines of focusing on positives (he has none) or working on things you can change (doesn't help-see tall-good looking-money) but they almost always push back. It's wearing.
I even test the waters with the guys who lead with "Women can have any man they want any time they want". But often those guys get met with a suspicion at best or hostility from some long term women posters who have heard this before, and sometimes from these very men under different usernames.
It seems to me that empathy from women toward struggling men is pretty proportionate to those men's apparent seriousness, their willingness to take responsibility for things they are responsible for, and their openness to change.
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If women could walk in the shoes of a man for a year would the dating landscape change?
Probably, these - always made behind the protection of anonymity, of course - should be put in their place.
