Why is it ok for women to be bossy, but bossy men are seen as controlling jerks? (how to, call)

[sportslover]

I have ran into more than a few women, online and in real life, who brag about being bossy as if this makes them more desirable for relationships. Why do these women expect to find a man that will want to stay with them? They actually expect guys to let them walk all over them and not say anything back and when a guy says he doesn’t like her being bossy she will justify it as being a part of her personality and say she can’t help it. I have never heard a woman get put down for being bossy

[JerZ]

Meh, 'cause being sassy and having attitude is supposed to be cool at the moment.

As things play out, I think most relationships end up being a give-and-take more so than this one-sided sort of thing. Truly one-sided relationships with one person demanding and the other cowing will be more rare.

[Bo_Lorem]

Originally Posted by DeCastro

I have ran into more than a few women, online and in real life, who brag about being bossy as if this makes them more desirable for relationships. Why do these women expect to find a man that will want to stay with them? They actually expect guys to let them walk all over them and not say anything back and when a guy says he doesn’t like her being bossy she will justify it as being a part of her personality and say she can’t help it. I have never heard a woman get put down for being bossy

I've heard a number of woman brag about being 'sassy'.

I can put up with it for about one date.

[reneeh63]

oh jeez....can we (meaning you) just stop making Mod cut. up to complain about? At least say it is YOUR experience - that's far from it being the typical experience of others. Maybe you need to find a good match for yourself.

And no, women are seen as "bossy" even when they are merely being assertive...so being assertive for women is often viewed negatively. Few men are called bossy - they are aggressive, go-getters, decisive....know how to delegate! All wonderful great things deserving of a promotion...or a harem of women!

[Fifty Seven]

I don't let men or women get bossy with me.

[timberline742]

I don't see this. Using the same language, male and female leaders are judged differently. Men are often seen as strong when they use certain language, and women using the same language are seen as bossy, or the term for female dogs.


It's a rather well studied phenomena, and its research is worked into the coaching for women executives and political candidates so that they're aware of it. It's unfortunate, but its a truism.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I don't see this. Using the same language, male and female leaders are judged differently. Men are often seen as strong when they use certain language, and women using the same language are seen as bossy, or the term for female dogs.

This is a good point.

[Mikala43]

Why do you think that the two people who said that to you represent 50% of the population?

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by DeCastro

I have never heard a woman get put down for being bossy

You've never heard someone call a woman a *****? That usually is what assertive or "bossy" women are called.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by HokieFan

You've never heard someone call a woman a *****? That usually is what assertive or "bossy" women are called.

It's called selective hearing.