not ready to settle?

[BellevueNative]

Originally Posted by justgotlucky

It's tiring and exhausting. but I don't want to give up on him. I love him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I always put him first but I felt like to him, I'm always second. It's frustrating but I don't want to give him up.

This is all that's important. You're exhausted, you feel like he always puts you second, he's clearly given up, yet you "love him." WHY do you love him? Do you really? Or do you love the fantasy him that he is not?

Also, it is OK to love someone and still make the decision to not be their romantic partner. "Love" ain't enough to make a relationship work ... unless that love prompts many acts of sacrifice, which your boyfriend isn't ready for.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by justgotlucky

I am a girl, 25 and my boyfriend is 26. We're living together and at that age, he doesn't know his priorities. He could end the day scrolling only FACEBOOK (so unproductive!) and whenever I tell him to do chores as I do the same, he would turn his back on me and the next thing he will do to me would be the silent treatment. It's not fair to live in a house and you do almost everything. I hate it when he does that (silent treatment) to me. When it comes to him, I always lower down my pride. Even if it's not my fault. He would tell me that I kept on starting a fight/quarrel with him when in fact, he is the main reason why we are always fighting and arguing.
It's tiring and exhausting. but I don't want to give up on him. I love him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I always put him first but I felt like to him, I'm always second. It's frustrating but I don't want to give him up.

Any advice? Thanks!

Why would you be tethered to someone like this?

Let's fast forward five years. You're married. Maybe a kid. You're earning all the income and doing all the housework and childcare.

How does it sound now?

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by justgotlucky

I am a girl, 25 and my boyfriend is 26. We're living together and at that age, he doesn't know his priorities. He could end the day scrolling only FACEBOOK (so unproductive!) and whenever I tell him to do chores as I do the same, he would turn his back on me and the next thing he will do to me would be the silent treatment. It's not fair to live in a house and you do almost everything. I hate it when he does that (silent treatment) to me. When it comes to him, I always lower down my pride. Even if it's not my fault. He would tell me that I kept on starting a fight/quarrel with him when in fact, he is the main reason why we are always fighting and arguing.
It's tiring and exhausting. but I don't want to give up on him. I love him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I always put him first but I felt like to him, I'm always second. It's frustrating but I don't want to give him up.

Any advice? Thanks!

What you are asking is how you can change him.

You can't. Accept that this is the way he will always be, or end the relationship. Either way will save you years of banging your head against the wall.

The end.