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And yes no matter who you are there is someone who thinks your hot, but if its such a small % of the population it does you no good(unless you get lucky).
I don't agree with you. We all know someone who is not attractive on the outside, but their personality makes them very attractive. I know a couple of co workers that if you saw their photograph you would not find them attractive. They are charismatic and charming which makes them "hot".
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re: Why do people still believe "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
I do believe it is true. I assume different people have different definitions for the word beauty. Beautiful to one person is not always beautiful to another. Everyone defines beautiful differently.
Because if we say yes, then beauty is in the eye of the boholder.
Just as your characters, the sunken shadowed eyes, hopeless facial expressions, etc., are a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder.
That is the point.
Women think, or at least thought (he's not aging well) that Brad Pitt is gorgeous. I always thought he looked like a homeless person. Scuzzy, with squinty eyes and a positively deformed jaw. I mean it looks like an implant. To me. The only time I have ever even loosely thought he looked handsome was in Interview, and even then it wasn't an I'd hit that feeling, just an observation that his lips looked pretty and I was jealous of his hair. Everyone thinks I am weird for this. Same thing with Clooney. He looks old for his age, he always has, and he looks generic and I don't know, puffy? To me. Like someone's jolly, happy uncle. Not sexy. TO ME. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The most beautiful woman I know has been described by others as average looking. OK, that's their opinions. But what they don't see is the smiles she gives to me, the flash in her eyes when she looks my way, or the great intelligence that shines through when she beats me at scrabble - or the deeper smile when she rubs it in. They don't see the free spirit that stirs my soul.
They don't see how she looks when she has dressed up and put on (or taken off) make-up in a covert acknowledgement of my tastes in styles.
While I have noted her flaws in skin and the slightly off symmetry in her face and other little things, these slights don't detract from her overall presence and beauty.
She is the most beautiful woman in the world, and probably will always be. Nobody else' definition of beauty matters to me.
Women think, or at least thought (he's not aging well) that Brad Pitt is gorgeous. I always thought he looked like a homeless person. Scuzzy, with squinty eyes and a positively deformed jaw. I mean it looks like an implant. To me. The only time I have ever even loosely thought he looked handsome was in Interview, and even then it wasn't an I'd hit that feeling, just an observation that his lips looked pretty and I was jealous of his hair. Everyone thinks I am weird for this. Same thing with Clooney. He looks old for his age, he always has, and he looks generic and I don't know, puffy? To me. Like someone's jolly, happy uncle. Not sexy. TO ME. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There were/are(? dunno about after his abuse allegations) plenty of women who thought Johnny Depp was hot, whereas I thought he looked like he smelled like BO and stale cigarettes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I won't deny that there are certain features that many, if not most, people find physically attractive in an objective sense, but that doesn't really gel with how people interact in the real world.
Because looking at photos is completely different from meeting people in person, and talking to them, and getting to know them. There have been informal experiments done, where strangers in a room are lined up, male and female lines, and asked to choose a partner. The better-looking ones choose their "peers", and the average ones are left scrambling. This, too, is different from actually meeting people, talking to them. (No words are exchanged in the exercise, no background info known.)
And that's my point, I'm not saying beauty is all that matters, but the more attractive people, the ones that won the genetic lottery do tend to get/be first choice and the further someone is from there cultures standard of beauty the more everything else has to be on point to make up for it.
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A person's personality definitely influences one's perception of said person, in many, many cases. Sure, there are people who get away with being airheads or jerks, based on their looks. But that's a minority of cases. You can quibble about whether it's a large or small minority, but it's not the overall norm, in any case. Look at all the divorces that happen, OP, when some young guys go for the "hot" classmate or babe they met in a club, only to discover that she's "high maintenance" beyond his capacity to maintain her, or she has major personality issues (the B-word, or mental health issues, or doesn't want to work, even though they need the income), or whatever. Why don't those guys see it coming, during the dating and engagement process? She keeps their little head happy, so the big head atrophies.
And again I agree with you, we all know someone who stays with someone who treats them like crap and often it's because that person is more attractive than what they can normally attract. hell there have been songs written about it.
Then, some of them, having learned an expensive and miserable lesson, finally start going for the more average women, looking for qualities like kind, thoughtful, honest, sweet, smart/hardworking, whatever, that weren't on their radar before.
Also true, the women who have caused the most drama in my life have been the most conventionally attractive, my longest relationships where women on the average spectrum. either really cute but chubby or well built but average or below average face(by societal standards) and I was in love when i was with them.
Well since beauty is in the beholder topic, while you've got talent, OP your view of beauty is not my kind of beauty. Tatts, nope, freckles, nope, bald, nope, clothing styles, hell to the N-O! Cool avatars though.... of people I want to avoid, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
Freckles are the FIRST beauty asset I look for in a woman, followed by great teeth.
And again I agree with you, we all know someone who stays with someone who treats them like crap and often it's because that person is more attractive than what they can normally attract. hell there have been songs written about it.
And we all know many, many, many people who "stay with" people because they love what is inside, the SO is not an uber hottie. In fact, non-uber hotties are the vast majority of people, male and female...and people fall head over heels every single day...and see sheer beauty in that person. Very real beauty. There have been songs written about this too, scores of them. And art and poetry and loving memoires and odes.
Just a thought: I feel like your insistence on "other people" being so shallow and looks based may be projection. After all, you are the one manipulating people's looks electronically to your own ideal of perfection and saying you wish you could build a physically perfect woman in a lab. Don't lay this on other people as if you are above it all, it is you who demand perfection, dream of it daily, apparently, and electronically create your own world of visually perfect (to your standards) women. This is on you.
I don't agree with you. We all know someone who is not attractive on the outside, but their personality makes them very attractive. I know a couple of co workers that if you saw their photograph you would not find them attractive. They are charismatic and charming which makes them "hot".
I have to disagree here. I know and have known plenty of females with beautiful personalities, and they attract me emotionally; BUT they do NOT look physically more attractive to me.
Conversely, I have known lots of EVIL females who were very attractive to me, and although I stayed away from them, I still found them very attractive.
This brings to mind an adage a friend of mine has, "The more beautiful a woman is on the outside, the uglier she is on the inside; and the uglier she is on the outside, the more beautiful she is on the inside."
Because if we say yes, then beauty is in the eye of the boholder.
Just as your characters, the sunken shadowed eyes, hopeless facial expressions, etc., are a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder.
That is the point.
Women think, or at least thought (he's not aging well) that Brad Pitt is gorgeous. I always thought he looked like a homeless person. Scuzzy, with squinty eyes and a positively deformed jaw. I mean it looks like an implant. To me. The only time I have ever even loosely thought he looked handsome was in Interview, and even then it wasn't an I'd hit that feeling, just an observation that his lips looked pretty and I was jealous of his hair. Everyone thinks I am weird for this. Same thing with Clooney. He looks old for his age, he always has, and he looks generic and I don't know, puffy? To me. Like someone's jolly, happy uncle. Not sexy. TO ME. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
you are right, nobody is everyone's cup of tea but the examples you give prove my point, if the majority of the opposite sex find you attractive it does not matter if a minority does not. and if only a minority of people find you attractive it puts you at a disadvantage, Shirley Manson(singer from garbage) was quoted as saying John Goodman was the sexiest man alive. she is not the norm.
It's too bad that dude who insisted that all men could tell if a woman is a good person only from a photo isn't around anymore. THat was always an entertaining argument, as he kept moving the goalposts.
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