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I think that you should discuss this with your wife and let her decide.
ETA Ok....I've read the whole thread. OP, this guy seems scary. I am for telling your wife after you retrieve the first email from your trash...and let her read both emails. Save these for evidence.
And, since you haven't responded to his first email.....he obviously has a program that tells him that you opened the email...otherwise why would he write a second one.
And, like others have pointed out he is becoming more unhinged and disclosing more inappropriate thoughts to you, obviously he is escalating.
And, he likely has your mailing address since he referenced considering mailing a letter....The first letter was creepy....but with the second it is more concerning and stalkerish and I would be totally weirded out and afraid of what he'll do next.
I think not sharing this with your wife is a bad choice. I also agree with contacting the police if he gets any worse....you'll want those letters.
I am on the edge of my seat, keep updating.
PS...If you have his name maybe you should research him a bit, so you know who you might be dealing with.
His name would be displayed on the emails, from his email acc't. But even if he set up a dummy acc't, the OP's wife would know his name.
I think that you should discuss this with your wife and let her decide.
ETA Ok....I've read the whole thread. OP, this guy seems scary. I am for telling your wife after you retrieve the first email from your trash...and let her read both emails. Save these for evidence.
And, since you haven't responded to his first email.....he obviously has a program that tells him that you opened the email...otherwise why would he write a second one.
And, like others have pointed out he is becoming more unhinged and disclosing more inappropriate thoughts to you, obviously he is escalating.
And, he likely has your mailing address since he referenced considering mailing a letter....The first letter was creepy....but with the second it is more concerning and stalkerish and I would be totally weirded out and afraid of what he'll do next.
I think not sharing this with your wife is a bad choice. I also agree with contacting the police if he gets any worse....you'll want those letters.
I am on the edge of my seat, keep updating.
PS...If you have his name maybe you should research him a bit, so you know who you might be dealing with.
Well Jan, you'll be happy then, I managed to bring it up last night, and talk about "plot twist".
I lead her into the topic very softly. Just said, "Hey got a strange e-mail the other day from someone who claims to know you." Explained the general tone of the e-mail and exposed some details. So it ends up apparently she does know the guy, and she confirmed that they did know each other in college.
Here's the plot twist, she claims they NEVER DATED, or were intimate. They were simply "really good friends".
She's really confused by the whole "madly in love" claims, and the Christmas card. She said the reason she stopped talking to him wasn't because he was addicted to anime or video games, etc. She claims he got kicked out of school, and he simply disappeared.
Basically, I'm ready to talk to law enforcement in my area and possibly file a restraining order.
Seriously, this is all a little ****ed up. Don't know what to think right now.
Well Jan, you'll be happy then, I managed to bring it up last night, and talk about "plot twist".
I lead her into the topic very softly. Just said, "Hey got a strange e-mail the other day from someone who claims to know you." Explained the general tone of the e-mail and exposed some details. So it ends up apparently she does know the guy, and she confirmed that they did know each other in college.
Here's the plot twist, she claims they NEVER DATED, or were intimate. They were simply "really good friends".
She's really confused by the whole "madly in love" claims, and the Christmas card. She said the reason she stopped talking to him wasn't because he was addicted to anime or video games, etc. She claims he got kicked out of school, and he simply disappeared.
Basically, I'm ready to talk to law enforcement in my area and possibly file a restraining order.
Seriously, this is all a little ****ed up. Don't know what to think right now.
Well, as I said some bit back, he is obviously developing an artificial "relationship" with you, so it's no surprise he had an artificial "relationship" with her.
You may not be able to file a restraining order officially since he hasn't made a threat BUT you do need to contact the police to start an official account of this, as it may well get to that point. If it becomes, for example, officially harassment. Finding you at work, excessive emails, etc. I don't know if you can claim harassment if he hasn't threatened and you haven't asked him not to contact you but again, you need documentation.
Well Jan, you'll be happy then, I managed to bring it up last night, and talk about "plot twist".
I lead her into the topic very softly. Just said, "Hey got a strange e-mail the other day from someone who claims to know you." Explained the general tone of the e-mail and exposed some details. So it ends up apparently she does know the guy, and she confirmed that they did know each other in college.
Here's the plot twist, she claims they NEVER DATED, or were intimate. They were simply "really good friends".
She's really confused by the whole "madly in love" claims, and the Christmas card. She said the reason she stopped talking to him wasn't because he was addicted to anime or video games, etc. She claims he got kicked out of school, and he simply disappeared.
Basically, I'm ready to talk to law enforcement in my area and possibly file a restraining order.
Seriously, this is all a little ****ed up. Don't know what to think right now.
Save all documentation.
Ask the police to come by your house....a captain or some sort of senior type.
Explain the situation.
They will contact the guy and tell him to cut it out or 'bad' things will happen.
If it continues, THEY will deal with it, and you are out of the loop...and somewhat protected from what could turn out to be some sort of psycho person.
Why were you SO WORRIED about talking to her about this?
That sentence did jump out at me too.
Have you tried to look him up on line and see where he lives? Or if he has been through the court system, etc.?
I would report to the police now, they may not be able to do anything but it's good to start the process now.
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Well Jan, you'll be happy then, I managed to bring it up last night, and talk about "plot twist".
I lead her into the topic very softly. Just said, "Hey got a strange e-mail the other day from someone who claims to know you." Explained the general tone of the e-mail and exposed some details. So it ends up apparently she does know the guy, and she confirmed that they did know each other in college.
Here's the plot twist, she claims they NEVER DATED, or were intimate. They were simply "really good friends".
She's really confused by the whole "madly in love" claims, and the Christmas card. She said the reason she stopped talking to him wasn't because he was addicted to anime or video games, etc. She claims he got kicked out of school, and he simply disappeared.
Basically, I'm ready to talk to law enforcement in my area and possibly file a restraining order.
Seriously, this is all a little ****ed up. Don't know what to think right now.
A cyber-stalker isn't quite the same as someone physically stalking you (or wife), showing up at workplace or residence, in the shadows, or whatever. I'm not sure that making a police report is warranted at this stage. But definitely start a file. AFAIK, restraining orders are for someone who's threatening their target physically. Right now, there's not much to restrain. But by all means, talk to the police, to get their perspective on cases like this. Also, do your own online research on the guy. It might be more likely that he's been in and out of mental health care on some level, which wouldn't show up online. But you never know.
I've been corrected, do not call the police at this point. But save the emails.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Got an e-mail titled "Trying to get closure" from some random guy to one of my business e-mails.
This shows me the guy google searched me and found my business address and e-mail (I no longer own the business but still maintain the e-mail as a courtesy from the new owners).
Anyway the tl;dr version of his e-mail is:
Pretty much a loser sob story if I ever read one.
Part of me thinks this is some prank, but if it isn't, I'm thinking of just trashing this e-mail and moving on. I don't think I would even care to bother my wife with this garbage. She's been out of college for 10 years now, and I think she might be better off not knowing this guy still exists.
Opinions?
I don't think I like it, I'd simply stay away....ignore it, and if he tries to make any kind of contact keep everything, date everything and log everything, then report it.
I had a fellow who was following me, and the police advised me to do the same thing....so be careful how you handle this.
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(Oh, no...wait...)
But save the emails.
