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Fair enough I don't. I can only go by what you tell us.
However, I DO know most people don't take THIS long to figure out whether or not they want to be with someone. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will.
I'm not saying she likes me I have no idea but you have to admit it's not your typical dynamic because of her ex.
We're friends for awhile and it's a weird situation maybe she's wishy washy because of that who knows but if she was so put off by knowing I like her and wanted to put an end to it wouldn't she create some distance with us instead of showing me affection like that and talking about going away with me? She'd do the opposite and try not to give off any signs at all I would think.
I'm not saying she likes me I have no idea but you have to admit it's not your typical situation and pursuit because of her ex.
We're friends through a weird situation maybe she's wishy washy because of that who knows but if she was so put off by knowing I like her why wouldn't she create some distance with us instead of showing me affection like that and talking about going away with me? She'd do the opposite and try not to give off any signs at all I would think.
we've been great friends for awhile it's hard for me to believe she'd use me..I'd like to think she wouldn't want to lead me on.. it's not like she's been using me for things..she pays for things and does things for me..
It's not like I'm buying her stuff or running errands..
Plus answer me why would she want to go away with me just for attention? That seems a little extreme..she'd have to be a real user to go that far just for more attention no?
we've been great friends for awhile it's hard for me to believe she'd use me..I'd like to think she wouldn't want to lead me on.. it's not like she's been using me for things..she pays for things and does things for me..
It's not like I'm buying her stuff or running errands..
Plus answer me why would she want to go away with me just for attention? That seems a llittle extreme..she'd have to be a real user to go that far just for more attention no?
Why is it so hard for you to believe? Yes people actually do use others for trips, and dinners just for company and attention. Nothing extreme about it. Of course you could get to the bottom of all of this and just ask her and tell her your intentions. Then again, maybe what you guys have is good enough for you.
Why is it so hard for you to believe? Yes people actually do use others for trips, and dinners just for company and attention. Nothing extreme about it. Of course you could get to the bottom of all of this and just ask her and tell her your intentions. Then again, maybe what you guys have is good enough for you.
Fair enough but hypothetically even if just sees me as a friend is she really using me if we go on a trip? Or she really likes me as a friend and wants to go on a trip because she enjoys my company like friends usually do?
And I really do enjoy her friendship/companionship so yeah I admit I do like it and would hate to lose that but I want closure so I'm gonna have to take a chance.
Fair enough but hypothetically even if just sees me as a friend is she really using me if we go on a trip? Or she really likes me as a friend and wants to go on a trip because she enjoys my company like friends usually do?
And part of me does enjoy her friendship/companionship so yeah I admit I do like it and would hate to lose that but I want closure.
Friendship goes both ways. If you have no problem going on a trip as friends, and both of you pay your own way, then nope nothing wrong with that. But if she knows you have feelings for her and you spend more on the trip than she does, then yes she is using you.
Friendship goes both ways. If you have no problem going on a trip as friends, and both of you pay your own way, then nope nothing wrong with that. But if she knows you have feelings for her and you spend more on the trip than she does, then yes she is using you.
That's what I've been saying she's never asked me to pay for things or run errands she's been generous she's definitely not using me for things material wise anyway..
The only questions are how much does she like me how much does she think I like her and her effection and whether that's because she's into me or leading me on or maybe she's just an affectionate person with friends who knows.
Fair enough but hypothetically even if just sees me as a friend is she really using me if we go on a trip? Or she really likes me as a friend and wants to go on a trip because she enjoys my company like friends usually do?
And I really do enjoy her friendship/companionship so yeah I admit I do like it and would hate to lose that but I want closure so I'm gonna have to take a chance.
It's not this cut and dried..."using" v. "not using." If it were, nobody would ever get stuck in these situations, wondering for months.
I don't think most people make a conscious decision to use someone and then stay the course or anything. She knows the attention feels good; she has fooled herself into thinking if she remains "friends" with you, you'll be less hurt. And then eventually somehow it will all just fade away, you'll meet some great girl or something and you and she at "just friends" forever or...well, she probably stops thinking about it right there. Cross that bridge, etc.
For now she "needs" her good friend and tries not to think about how it really just feels so good to be so wanted.
She isn't a monster, she isn't deliberately being cruel, but, well, you seem to be getting something out of it too, and anyway, she never made any promises...so...she's not REALLY hurting you..in her mind...she IS at least being a friend...
This is all just a guess. But a strong one. I could be wrong. If you want to take that gamble, do so, and I honest to God hope and pray you prove me wrong. I honestly do.
That's what I've been saying she's never asked me to pay for things or run errands she's been generous she's definitely not using me for things material wise anyway..
The only questions are how much does she like me how much does she think I like her and her effection and whether that's because she's into me or leading me on or maybe she's just an affectionate person with friends who knows.
Maybe she doesn't ask because she doesn't have to, if you are willing to do it, she's going to let you. Some people may say you know, I don't really like him like that, so I'm not going to accept those things. if what you are saying is true, she knows how you really feel, and she knows you want to be more than friends. But she is just stringing you along, because you allow her to do that. And if you have any questions, and you guys are so friendly and close, why don't you ask her how she feels? Or is it because you really know the answer?
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