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Over the years I've heard women say this same basic sentiment and I just don't get it. I don't think I've ever once in my life heard a man echo this.
It's a completely foreign concept to me. Just over the years I've seen women that just have that perfect combination of things that really stir the ol bones, ya know what I mean? I ain't thinking about her GPA or her SAT scores or her thoughts on Nietzsche at that point if you follow me??
I will concede that that same woman can instantly become a humpbacked troll if she opens her mouth and ugliness comes out. I will admit that for sure.
Lol, I totally do not get the quote/unquote man’s side. I feel like if I see someone attractive, I just do not know enough about them to want to have sex with them. :P
I have to interact with you in some way or another to build the attraction.
I guess a pro to online dating, you get to see something in a person’s own words who they think they are.
I can think of some specific people. I remember there was this guy in college that my friend’s and I thought was really cute. We used to go to events hoping he’d be there. Eventually our stalking worked and I talked to him at an event. He was one of the most boring people I had ever met in my life. He was attractive, but all interest fizzled out completely.
On the up note, I met his bff at some point. And while technically his bff was “less attractive,” he had so much charisma and we had so much to talk about, I ended up going out with him. He statted off as a guy with a great smile and turned super hot after spending 2 hours talking to him. That is always how it goes for me.
On a similar vein, I met a guy who had a great smile, but I thought was too skinny. I talked to him for 5 minutes, it was so easy to talk to him. And he zoomed to the top of the list. Wouldn’t have thought he was hot without the conversation.
I guess for me everyone starts as lukewarm until proven otherwise.
Just another silly label. Simply seek out someone whose attributes turn you on, whatever they may be. I would find it laughable if someone declared to me - in person or via a dating profile - that he was "sapiosexual." I am drawn to intelligent, articulate men, but if a man labeled himself thusly I would walk away and not look back.
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I've commented around here pretty often about how a man's intelligence is my sexual/romantic kryptonite, but if he CALLED me a sapiosexual or if he dated me for my head and called HIMSELF a sapiosexual, eeew. No.
So pretentious.
Hard pass. Just give me the intelligence, without the adorbs, kitschy, "wow...I'm so smart because I know 'sapio' has to do with intelligence...I mean who else KNOWS that? Wink wink, the two of us are in the know" nickname. Blah.
Lol, I totally do not get the quote/unquote man’s side. I feel like if I see someone attractive, I just do not know enough about them to want to have sex with them. :P
I have to interact with you in some way or another to build the attraction.
I guess a pro to online dating, you get to see something in a person’s own words who they think they are.
I can think of some specific people. I remember there was this guy in college that my friend’s and I thought was really cute. We used to go to events hoping he’d be there. Eventually our stalking worked and I talked to him at an event. He was one of the most boring people I had ever met in my life. He was attractive, but all interest fizzled out completely.
On the up note, I met his bff at some point. And while technically his bff was “less attractive,” he had so much charisma and we had so much to talk about, I ended up going out with him. He statted off as a guy with a great smile and turned super hot after spending 2 hours talking to him. That is always how it goes for me.
On a similar vein, I met a guy who had a great smile, but I thought was too skinny. I talked to him for 5 minutes, it was so easy to talk to him. And he zoomed to the top of the list. Wouldn’t have thought he was hot without the conversation.
I guess for me everyone starts as lukewarm until proven otherwise.
This seems to be the more typical woman point of view and I think that that is fine. I think there's lots of reasons why more women than men are wired that way. I eluded to it earlier in a post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJSaturn
Just another silly label. Simply seek out someone whose attributes turn you on, whatever they may be. I would find it laughable if someone declared to me - in person or via a dating profile - that he was "sapiosexual." I am drawn to intelligent, articulate men, but if a man labeled himself thusly I would walk away and not look back.
.
I agree, it does seem silly, but to young people the over 45 set are a bunch of fuddy duddies so who knows. LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I've commented around here pretty often about how a man's intelligence is my sexual/romantic kryptonite, but if he CALLED me a sapiosexual or if he dated me for my head and called HIMSELF a sapiosexual, eeew. No.
So pretentious.
Hard pass. Just give me the intelligence, without the adorbs, kitschy, "wow...I'm so smart because I know 'sapio' has to do with intelligence...I mean who else KNOWS that? Wink wink, the two of us are in the know" nickname. Blah.
I like intelligence, I really do I think it has tremendous value.
I just don't like it when people lead with it. They identify with it too much, if that makes any sense.
When people do identify too much with their or other's intelligence they can slip into the same "shallow" category as those who value physical or whatever.
Sapiosexual does not mean I like people who are smart.
If that's how you're using it, there's some bad news waiting for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
It's a completely foreign concept to me. Just over the years I've seen women that just have that perfect combination of things that really stir the ol bones, ya know what I mean? I ain't thinking about her GPA or her SAT scores or her thoughts on Nietzsche at that point if you follow me??
I will concede that that same woman can instantly become a humpbacked troll if she opens her mouth and ugliness comes out. I will admit that for sure.
For me, intelligence can certainly be a plus as well as a minus.
More intelligent discussions means more attraction
So now that I am dipping my toe into online dating, I am noticing there are a lot of sapiosexuals. Where on earth did this come from?
Are you a sapiosexual?
LOL, seriously? Okay, I'm an old married woman, but I've always had a thing for intelligent men. Do people have a thing for dummies? "stultusexual" ?
I'm also attracted to a good sense of humor...Hey! I'm a "jestersexual" y'all, and my preferred pronoun is incessant giggling.
Sorry, couldn't resist. My fuddy duddy mind boggles.
Regarding the pretentiousness and the making intellectualism your identity thing...
Well yes, but I also wouldn't be into a guy who made his workout routine the thing he "leads" with, telling me on a date how much he can lift...ugh... Nor a woman who was so obsessed with her beauty that she pinned her identity on that, nor anyone who takes any facet of themselves and uses it to try and elevate them to a "I'm better than most people" status. There is a nice balance between the person with no self esteem, and the arrogant one with no humility, where you can be...like...a normal person... That's pretty good.
Regarding the pretentiousness and the making intellectualism your identity thing...
Well yes, but I also wouldn't be into a guy who made his workout routine the thing he "leads" with, telling me on a date how much he can lift...ugh... Nor a woman who was so obsessed with her beauty that she pinned her identity on that, nor anyone who takes any facet of themselves and uses it to try and elevate them to a "I'm better than most people" status. There is a nice balance between the person with no self esteem, and the arrogant one with no humility, where you can be...like...a normal person... That's pretty good.
The thing is, bright people don't have to "lead with" "I'm bright." You can tell from the first few sentences.
I like intelligence, I really do I think it has tremendous value.
I just don't like it when people lead with it. They identify with it too much, if that makes any sense.
When people do identify too much with their or other's intelligence they can slip into the same "shallow" category as those who value physical or whatever.
I remember having a really interesting chat with a guy I was dating about compliments.
It seems (in my head at least) he made so many comments about my physical attributes. I found it so odd. So he called me on it, he was like you aren’t very comfortable about me commenting on your body. It seems like you’d rather have brain comments. Good observation on his part.
I replied it was a two fold - perception of my looks don’t really play into my identity at all. I get called cute sometimes and that is the end of my perception of looks. I also have gotten comments about my brain far more often. Or my high energy and cheerful disposition. Since it isn’t a lens I use to think about myself, I don’t think about it as a lens other people would use to bucket me either. So it was weird to me that seemed to be his focus. Which lead to him thinking I was uncomfortable with it.
And it made me wonder about how people turn out if they were only validated based on their looks. And they formed their identiy on it. What happens when those go away? Do they find a new form of identity or do they seem lost when they get older?
I guess a pro for sapiosexuals, no matter what happens physically, odds are the basis of your attraction will remain for the long haul.
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I ain't thinking about her GPA or her SAT scores or her thoughts on Nietzsche at that point if you follow me?? 
