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I agree that you should just move on, however I won't resort to the name calling and shaming like some of the other posters here. I've been shaving my head for a while now, and I'm sure when I had my profile on OKC I was passed over a number of times because of that. However, I would not stoop so low as to call them shallow or "I'm much better off without them shallow _____ anyway!" People are attracted to what they are attracted to. That's the way it's always been, and always will be.
I could never find myself leaving simply because of hair loss and think OP is wrong for having those feelings. I’m also heartened to hear the story someone told about the husband-to-be going with his fiancé to buy a wig for their upcoming wedding.
But that said, I also know the majority of women here feigning outrage over OP would be to the same to post a “Leave ‘em!”, if a lady complained on CD that her boyfriend grew 50lbs in a few months and said it was because of his thyroid or some other medical reason.
But that said, I also know the majority of women here feigning outrage over OP would be to the same to post a “Leave ‘em!”, if a lady complained on CD that her boyfriend grew 50lbs in a few months and said it was because of his thyroid or some other medical reason.
Not me. But I'm not sure why you think I'm the minority.
It's really bad form to accuse your audience of feeling or doing something completely on spec. You can not know how people will react to anything and to accuse them preemptively is the ultimate straw man argument. Try to make your point (whatever it is) another way.
I could never find myself leaving simply because of hair loss and think OP is wrong for having those feelings. I’m also heartened to hear the story someone told about the husband-to-be going with his fiancé to buy a wig for their upcoming wedding.
But that said, I also know the majority of women here feigning outrage over OP would be to the same to post a “Leave ‘em!”, if a lady complained on CD that her boyfriend grew 50lbs in a few months and said it was because of his thyroid or some other medical reason.
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Originally Posted by zentropa
Not me. But I'm not sure why you think I'm the minority.
It's really bad form to accuse your audience of feeling or doing something completely on spec. You can not know how people will react to anything and to accuse them preemptively is the ultimate straw man argument. Try to make your point (whatever it is) another way.
I agree with your response, zen, but I do think this thread touched a nerve for women and men. I know a little about hair loss, and while I found the experience pretty awful for a brief time, I would never compare it to a woman losing her hair. Being bald presents men with diminished possibilities in a variety of ways, but it's a common condition and generally socially acceptable, unless you want to be president or something. It has to be pretty devastating for a woman.
It is interesting that the near consensus here is that the OP, dubious as he appears to be, is a rotten dubious OP because he loves this women but isn't attracted to her now. That isn't what anyone wants to read. I feel for anyone's illusions being burst like that, and while I can somewhat understand the OP's apparent choice because love and attraction aren't always paired, it seems unfair. Never mind that unfair isn't part of the dynamic here. It's seems like it should be fair.
So I am in a serious relationship with this girl for 3 years.
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Originally Posted by 187113ht
Just as I thought our relationship was going well I start to find her less and less attractive.
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Originally Posted by 187113ht
Also she put alot of effort to be with me and loving me unconditionally.
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Originally Posted by 187113ht
I know it seems shallow but a woman's hair is really important to me. I have caught myself looking at other girls and admiring their beauty in my head or sometimes imagining to be with them.
These statements from your original post seem to be (to me at least) the essence of the conflict you are feeling. It's troublesome to be sure but apparently you feel strongly about the issue of her hair loss (even though it may or could be resolved) so whatever the reason, you're just 'not feeling it'.
It's not for me to speculate on whether or not there may be other issues you may have so I am of the opinion that you cancel your future with this young lady as respectfully, kindly and considerately as you possibly can...for her sake.
Bear in mind that as we grow older our bodies and our attitudes change and we never quite realize who we will eventually be sharing our lives with; we 'take the good with the bad' and that is our promise.
Best wishes in making your decision and the very best to your beloved.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Originally Posted by jonibananas
Hair can be fixed. That's why there are weaves and wigs. Duh... Liquid Biotin works for this problem. You can get it off amazon.
I really hate to hear you took something from her she can never get back then dump her because of her hair. I'm pretty sure she's depressed about it more than you think.
Your best move is to move out of the city or state, if you want to stop dating.
Oh good grief, ain’t it this damn subforum saying that virginity should NOT be put on such a pedestal? OP at the time probably loved the woman. He lost attraction, it happens. Sorry love ain’t fair or kind at times.
I could never find myself leaving simply because of hair loss and think OP is wrong for having those feelings. I’m also heartened to hear the story someone told about the husband-to-be going with his fiancé to buy a wig for their upcoming wedding.
But that said, I also know the majority of women here feigning outrage over OP would be to the same to post a “Leave ‘em!”, if a lady complained on CD that her boyfriend grew 50lbs in a few months and said it was because of his thyroid or some other medical reason.
A true relationship is for when times get tough, you stick it out. Maybe find someone else.
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