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I don't pay much attention to celebrity news, but the headline about Jay Z and Beyonce marital problems caught my eye. I remember a time where people thought these two were a power couple or #goals (so the kids call it). Now they just remind me of every other couple. Muddled with problems and imperfections. As you may or may not know Mr. Carter cheated on Mrs. Carter. They didn't break up, however. Mrs. Carter gave her mister another chance.
Would you though? Would you give your other half another chance if they betrayed/cheated on you?
I would say there's no second chance. However, now I'm single and have no family, I know many couples who have kids decide to forgive and move on. The most common reasons I heard are " we want to give our kids a complete family". " People make mistakes " . "He/she seemed so sincere and I believe this is the last time” ......
Maybe one day I would change my opinion as well(If I'm lucky enough to have my own family) but now, no. I wouldn't give the guy a second chance.
I think I'd be mad about it on a different level and way than most. I'm open to open relationships. I don't demand fidelity of my partner. But I do demand equitable treatment. If I cannot have another lover, because he doesn't feel safe about that or ok with it, then I don't think it's fair to expect me to deal with my feelings and process and cope so that he can have that freedom. It's the hypocrisy of it, HE is the one who mainly needs monogamy, then he'd better be able to live up to it, at the same level he expects me to.
I would ask, "Why did you lie to me? Why not be honest and ask for what you want, here?"
And, "Do you still want to be in a relationship with me?"
And then probably go into, "OK. Well, congratulations. You're now in an open relationship. How much do you--or don't you--want to know about the other lover/s that I may now choose to go have sex with? Also, we need to have some talks about STI testing and rules regarding protection."
I am not going to be with a man who demands freedom, but thinks he can control me and curtail mine. If he can't deal with that, I guess we're done.
What I would absolutely NOT do, is start keeping tabs on him and trying to catch him doing stuff. Either I trust him, or I just assume he is doing the thing. I don't even have the time to be going through a man's emails and texts, and I will not engage in a relationship where people are acting like parent/teenager rather than equals.
Wow, a famous multi-millionaire like Jay Z cheating on his wife. I would have bet all my life savings that he would have stayed faithful to her. How could he give in to all that temptation around him?
If you are a person who is able to unfailingly trust someone who has betrayed that trust in a huge way, without past behavior compromising how you feel about that person's ability to be honest in the future, you might be able to salvage something.
That is not an ability innate in most people. So, they patch things up, and then go on living through their relationship with an ever-present spectre of distrust hanging around.
Wow, a famous multi-millionaire like Jay Z cheating on his wife. I would have bet all my life savings that he would have stayed faithful to her. How could he give in to all that temptation around him?
See, it really seems like she, also being wealthy and famous in her own right, would have had the exact same degree of opportunity (probably moreso, as she is much better-looking than he is...sorry, but dude is not a handsome man) as he.
I would say there's no second chance. However, now I'm single and have no family, I know many couples who have kids decide to forgive and move on. The most common reasons I heard are " we want to give our kids a complete family". " People make mistakes " . "He/she seemed so sincere and I believe this is the last time” ......
Maybe one day I would change my opinion as well(If I'm lucky enough to have my own family) but now, no. I wouldn't give the guy a second chance.
People frequently do pull the "But, the kids..." card.
I don't know. I was cheated on in an LTR, and it instantly killed all feelings I had toward the guy. Salvaging the relationship wasn't something that was on the table (he didn't get caught, he confessed to the infidelity as a technique by which to end the relationship), but had it been, it was NOT something I wanted. It was over the second I knew there was deceit. No kids.
I am now married and with kids. I would like to think that I would choose to model for my kids the self-respect that goes with knowing when a relationship is no longer functional and acting accordingly. I don't want my kids' takeaway to be that one should tolerate being disrespected and devalued by a partner, and infidelity is one of the most glaring ways to show someone you neither respect nor value them.
It is, in my opinion, better for kids to come from the proverbial "broken home" than it is to be raised in one by two parents who only stayed together because there were kids they perceived as tethering them.
No I wouldn't because the TRUST is broken and there is no going back.People who give those that has cheated on them or betrayed them another chance..well it's their choice to do so.Obviously it's because they really care about them so they really want it to work.I was betrayed by someone...hurt very deeply and I gave that person a 2nd chance and they didn't follow through.I got hurt yet again SO..with my experience I know that once when someone either cheats on you OR betrays you, you're taking a very serious chance of getting hurt again because chances are..they will do it all over again.So from my experience...no 2nd chances on betrayal or cheating.Nope.Never again.
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