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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
All that plus her continued plan of rarely having sex at all will be 100% effective.
Now we're talking.
It's kind of funny though seeing dudes bug on 1-2% chance freak stuff. Lucky they aren't women with the complications that come with that with so many of the options they have.
It's kind of funny though seeing dudes bug on 1-2% chance freak stuff. Lucky they aren't women with the complications that come with that with so many of the options they have.
It's true.
He so clearly is focused on the numbers and percentages, it's distracting him from the actual problem he's facing.
It's kind of funny though seeing dudes bug on 1-2% chance freak stuff. Lucky they aren't women with the complications that come with that with so many of the options they have.
I swear I sat here staring at that post for...minutes, at least...just staring, and blinking. Feeling like I needed to say...something...but...what do I say to that?
The last time I attempted to be on the pill as a form of BC, I bled for 6 weeks straight. And my hormones were so messed up on various kinds of BC it destroyed my libido, and altered my personality. I feel like tubal ligation has been the best thing ever. The only part that kind of sucked, was arguing with my doctor repeatedly leading up to getting it done. She seemed really determined to convince me that one day I might just want another bundle of joy, and wouldn't I be oh so sorry then.
Think there were not chances, probably greater than 1-2%, that certain side effects like chronic pain or worse, could have come about as a result? It's surgery for crying out loud. Still though. Worth it.
If she gets wet that means she's sexually aroused. Maybe she's scared of having sex? Or starts getting anxious about work. I'd cut the foreplay to 5-10 minutes max. 20 minutes I'd be asleep.....
If she gets wet that means she's sexually aroused. Maybe she's scared of having sex? Or starts getting anxious about work. I'd cut the foreplay to 5-10 minutes max. 20 minutes I'd be asleep.....
I'm thinking 20 minutes and she's done. She doesn't need him anymore. Some women find it very uncomfortable being penetrated after climaxing.
OP, mark my words, as someone with experience in this area, you two will continue to have problems with your sex life because she has serious hangups about sex. I also find it very hard to believe that she is an RN with such sketchy ideas about the human body.
It really reads to me that she is using that biological smokescreen to hide the fact that she is seriously inhibited and possibly not as attracted to you as she should be.
I believe she wants a partner and a confidant and a co-parent but not a husband. You two will probably never be on the same page about this because you have opposing desires.
Agreed. Yes.
Also, I might have missed it, but what in the world did she do in previous relationships? Not have sex at all? If she truly is worried about pregnancy in this relationship, then she would've had all of the same hang-ups in past relationships.
Maybe she just doesn't like penetration. Maybe she just can't relax. Maybe she has an STD. Maybe she is in love with someone else and she feels like she is cheating. You can speculate all day, but I don't feel like she is being straight with you. I would dig a little into her past.
If fear of pregnancy is SUCH a huge deal to her, there are other options for release.... It doesn't always have to be about penetration as long as both partners "enjoy" themselves...
If she's unwilling to meet your need for release while possibly getting hers during "foreplay".... there's something very off about that.
Also, I might have missed it, but what in the world did she do in previous relationships? Not have sex at all? If she truly is worried about pregnancy in this relationship, then she would've had all of the same hang-ups in past relationships.
Maybe she just doesn't like penetration. Maybe she just can't relax. Maybe she has an STD. Maybe she is in love with someone else and she feels like she is cheating. You can speculate all day, but I don't feel like she is being straight with you. I would dig a little into her past.
Something ain't right with this chick.
Since we got back together 6 weeks ago, we have done it like 4.5 times.... the frequency went up slightly even though I thought we reconciled our differences and supposedly solved her anxiety about pregnancy.
Yesterday, she finally got 100% honest with me. She feared I would leave her after knowing the truth, so she kept misleading me for all these months. On the 5th date, I asked what her sex drive is and she could not answer, so I asked "is twice a week too much? How about once a week?" She replied "i'm okay with once a week and maybe work up to more."
Turns out once a week...... is "maybe" her maximum. Yesterday, she finally told me her sex drive is once a month because she is not ready for it to be once a week.
Last week, she finally told me she has HPV since 2012, but thats kinda late to tell me. We did it like 5 times unprotected already. She claims she forgot or was never informed. She claims she found out last week after checking her chart at the clinic.
My biggest question is.... if, when, and how will she ever be ready for once a week if she is naturally once a month her entire life? She said she could do it if I stop pressuring her 2x a week through physical advances. If I don't touch her, won't she naturally go to once a month....?
Facts
For her entire life, she told her partners "once a month" and they were all okay with it... or left
She enjoys foreplay and has come close to climax, but it has never happened while she was with me
She is extremely wet after 10-20 min of foreplay every time
Lately, foreplay felt stressful as she does not want to let me down
I love deep french kiss, but she doesn't so I gave that up
I love kissing her lips lightly like 20x a day, but thats too much for her, so I lowered it to 6x
I want it 4 times a week, but we compromised it down to once a week on May 17, 2018
We both have very busy lives working many hours. Our time off very rarely overlap
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