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Funny b/c I am a female and "I am not a little boy" is an inside joke on my local hometown board.
Looks matter a lot.
A woman will date anyone who is good-looking ... he could be the biggest a-hole, poor, unemployed and it really wouldn't matter.
I know b/c I am a woman and I only date good-looking guys. I hope they are nice with good jobs and all that but I would rather date a good looking man with nothing than an ugly guy with everything.
I can't be attracted to someone who I don't find good-looking ... most people are nice enough ... they need to be good-looking (aka take care of their appearance)
That's how you wound up with a first husband who beat you, I guess. But speak for yourself, not what you said above, bolded. That's just you. Not all women are that narrow-minded.
It may be just your level of maturity, which will hopefully change as life goes on.
Funny b/c I am a female and "I am not a little boy" is an inside joke on my local hometown board.
Looks matter a lot.
A woman will date anyone who is good-looking ... he could be the biggest a-hole, poor, unemployed and it really wouldn't matter.
I know b/c I am a woman and I only date good-looking guys. I hope they are nice with good jobs and all that but I would rather date a good looking man with nothing than an ugly guy with everything.
I can't be attracted to someone who I don't find good-looking ... most people are nice enough ... they need to be good-looking (aka take care of their appearance)
Are you a little girl, then?
Or rather, a better question, that is not snarking at you, are you a young adult? Have you had a long term relationship yet? Was it based on looks, and if so, was it a quality relationship?
Because that's just the thing, if you get with someone first, foremost, and primarily because of their looks, and you're not compatible beneath that, you are in for a world of drama and unhappiness in a long term relationship. If you did not at least CONSIDER the other stuff, or to the point, if you decided to overlook compatibility problems at the personality level, because the person is just so hot.
But again, the ex who won't shut up about looks? He seemed to be fine with a miserable life, as long as I stuck around to let him make me miserable, and he figured that was normal.
Some people seem really dedicated to keeping a relationship where they constantly scream and fight. I don't want to live like that. Just saying that some folks will accept anything.
Happiness matters to me, and looks do not always last.
I mean, we had a guy in here not too long ago who literally started a thread saying "She abuses and manipulates me and makes my life hell. I don't know what to do. But she's perfect for me because she's so hot and I like having sex with her." Dude was agonizing literally over whether to stay or go, weighing putting up with seriously psycho behavior because..."but she's hot."
People like me, with a bit of life behind us, will look at that kind of contorted logic as flat out bananaballs bat-poop INSANE.
But, nope, not always. I realize my situation is a rare exception, but I'm telling you it can happen.
My S.O. and I enjoy listening to music. Before we met in RL, we would sometimes hang out long-distance on our respective laptops and he would send over music that he liked for me to listen to. It got to be a thing that we now do when together.
I started to wonder at some point if some of the songs were being chosen to send me messages, but then I thought it might be just my imagination. After we met in RL and were going through his music list listening to songs, he came across Buffalo Springfield's "Sit down, I think I love you". He said, "I sent this to you back when I was reasonably certain I loved you." I went back and looked in my email, and he'd sent that one over four months before we met in person.
Might sound weird, but we fell in love via email. It also helps that we're both writers, so we could express and share who we were in that medium probably better than some who don't do as well with words. Meeting in person just sealed it.
Worked for Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, too.
Looks are definitely important, especially for the younger crowd. I'm not saying that. I am just sayin' don't rule out all possibilities of other avenues to love if you didn't win the beauty lottery.
I can understand this. Before I met my second husband in real life, we corresponded via email for a couple of months (I think it was.) I knew, way before I actually met this guy, that I liked him. We 'got' each other, joked around, talked about families and such. I feel like he felt the same way.
I was more excited than nervous to meet him in real life, just to put the face with the emails, etc. I was already attracted. It did not hurt that he was a nice looking man, but I already knew I liked him before I met him.
Another aspect of attraction...not sure it's been touched on, or not.
Attraction is important. But attraction is not always physical attractiveness...even if the person IS physically attractive.
For example...I can acknowledge that Ryan Gosling is an attractive man, but he doesn't rev my engine. I can TOTALLY see how he he'd ring lots of ladies' bells...but not mine.
Looks are really important in a relationship. That's why there are some women who are eternally single because men aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with them and only want booty calls with them.
Some women who are physically unattractive have it extremely hard in the dating world. It doesn't matter if they have a great career, dress well, or have the gift of gab. Most men will turn down a physically unattractive woman no matter if she has a lot of quality traits.
Yes I agree unattractive women have it hard when it comes to finding a relationship.
Why would they do that? That sounds like guys projecting their own thought patterns onto women. Most women won't do that, because there's no guarantee they won't get the "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" treatment. Men don't have to worry about that, for the most part.
Yes, and that's what I'm saying...I keep reading that women will sleep with any "Brad Pitt" no matter what he says...just no. It's usually in conjunction with either Brads and Chads (still not clear what on earth those are) and Pareto Principle hogwash.
And we even had a follow-up post after this ^ one with yet another guy saying women will go out with "any" good-looking guy.
Nope.
Will a woman who only wants looks from a man, sleep with a good-looking man who's a jerk? Probably. Just as a man who only wants looks from a woman will sleep with a good-looking woman who is an absolute nightmare. Both are a portion of the population but far from all, and who wants either???
Yes, and that's what I'm saying...I keep reading that women will sleep with any "Brad Pitt" no matter what he says...just no. It's usually in conjunction with either Brads and Chads (still not clear what on earth those are) and Pareto Principle hogwash.
And we even had a follow-up post after this ^ one with yet another guy saying women will go out with "any" good-looking guy.
Nope.
Will a woman who only wants looks from a man, sleep with a good-looking man who's a jerk? Probably. Just as a man who only wants looks from a woman will sleep with a good-looking woman who is an absolute nightmare. Both are a portion of the population but far from all, and who wants either???
APPARENTLY, as I have been schooled already, the poster who said that any woman will readily sleep with any good-looking guy, is in fact a woman.
But just like Ken who started this whole thing, these folks seem to operate under the notion that their own preferences dictate absolute reality for all human beings on planet earth.
Hey. I drive a Dodge Caravan, and I love my Dodge Caravan, and therefore, everyone else must want to drive a Dodge Caravan, and if they don't, it's because they didn't have the option to get one, otherwise...they must just be lying.
APPARENTLY, as I have been schooled already, the poster who said that any woman will readily sleep with any good-looking guy, is in fact a woman.
I'm guessing when it comes to casual sex with strangers men are more open to sleeping with a wider range of women in regards to age, race, body type, and physical appearance. Women are pickier for casual sex with strangers so good looks definitely play more of a part in it.
I'm guessing when it comes to casual sex with strangers men are more open to sleeping with a wider range of women in regards to age, race, body type, and physical appearance. Women are pickier for casual sex with strangers so good looks definitely play more of a part in it.
Mmmmayyybe...
My ex had occasion to meet a man I had a one-timer with and was stunned to find that the guy was, or so my ex judged him, "ugly." Demanded, angrily for some reason, to know what I saw in him and why I had sex with him. ?? lol! I was like, you're my ex, you're never going to touch me again, why on earth would you care, you loony?
Meanwhile he was introducing me to his dates (my ex was) and personally I found some of them really, really unappealing, but he said he saw something in them, and I just took that at face value and kept my mouth shut. I don't have to have a good opinion of them, I'm not the one trying to have sex with 'em after all.
Personally, my intrigue with the "ugly" guy was in the fact that the dude was huge, like a giant, and I was (not ashamed to say) curious if everything was all in proportion, don't ya know... And I really had nothing else going on and was bored. I've had casual encounters with boys when we were in high school, merely because I found out that they were virgins. That seemed like a fun hobby at the time. I've contemplated sleeping with this one bass player, who is not very attractive, merely to find out if my theory about bass players having strong hands, is true or it was just coincidence that one time...
You would be surprised what some women will do, when we firmly decide to reject any ideology that moralizes our sexual choices.
But the fact remains that for a number of reasons, women are a lot less likely to seek casual sex than men, at least overtly and that we'll freely admit, overall. Out of that relatively small number, yeah, some are going for guys with some kind of a look they're after. Some...still are willing to give a guy a chance regardless.
And to be really honest? Even though I've been willing to engage in casual relations, they were in fact always a sort of test drive, if it was really good (which was super rare) I would have let it become more of a relationship if the guy wanted that. I hardly went into it with a contract in hand that neither of us would ever know the other's last name, or try to get together again, or ever date.
One of my kids is married to a man who is the level of handsome that one rarely sees outside of fashion mag photos; he's like an effing piece of artwork. I used to say when trying to describe him, "you just want to put him on your mantel and look at him".
Guys love him too; he has that Abercrombie & Fitch, Calvin Klein model look.
GUESS WHAT. He is ASEXUAL. Laugh's on my daughter (who married him anyway because he's a great provider as well as fun to show off; she's shallow like that) and the 20 y/o gals who fling themselves at him at work (he's an NP).
One of my kids is married to a man who is the level of handsome that one rarely sees outside of fashion mag photos; he's like an effing piece of artwork. I used to say when trying to describe him, "you just want to put him on your mantel and look at him".
Guys love him too; he has that Abercrombie & Fitch, Calvin Klein model look.
GUESS WHAT. He is ASEXUAL. Laugh's on my daughter (who married him anyway because he's a great provider as well as fun to show off; she's shallow like that) and the 20 y/o gals who fling themselves at him at work (he's an NP).
Interesting. So what does your daughter do about it, just accept it and have no sex until the end of her life? Did she know this when they met or did it change over time? Is she frustrated about it?
No real reason to ask this, just being curious.
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