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I voted "I'm a woman, and I'd be fine with it" because the symbolism of an expensive/fancy ring doesn't mean anything to me. I'm pragmatic and would prefer to put the money toward paying off a house, putting into retirement savings, getting car repairs, replacing old kitchen appliances, etc. I feel the same way about weddings. I don't want a bridal shower, bachelorette party, or big ceremony and celebration. I think the ideal wedding is going to the courthouse to get whatever legal papers done and a dinner with my closest family and friends.
I really just wouldn't want a ring at all since I don't wear jewelry. If someone proposed to me with a ring then I'd question how well they knew me and if we'd really be compatible if they'd waste money on something like that.
If people want to get expensive rings and have big weddings, I'm fine with that--just don't complain to me about how much it's costing and how stressful it is. :/
Unless someone can prove to me differently, the cubic zirconia part would be, to me, unacceptable since any I have ever seen simply look like obviously fake diamonds and are bought, usually LARGE, so they're only for people who want to...or think they are...impressing whoever else sees them.
I'd rather a ring with a smaller or no stone than a phony one or none at all.
My particular thing is uniqueness. Not expense. Something with some provenance, like it belonged to one of his ancestors or relatives would be awesome. Or something unusual and preferably made of silver.
I most definitely would not prefer something bought new that is an imitation of something I don't even like when it is "real." I don't like diamonds, real or fake.
So given that...I answered "I'm a woman, wouldn't be upset, prefer something more special."
But special doesn't mean costly.
I agree with saving money. I WOULD be upset, possibly to the point of ending the relationship even, if my partner bought me an insanely expensive diamond ring. Because I would think he'd robbed a bank or taken leave of his senses, and at the very least he's ignoring literally every single thing I've ever said on the subject and should know me far better by then. Luckily I don't think I'm in danger of having to deal with such, as something I respect and love in my dude is his financial wisdom and frugality.
I am not a fan of fakes, but I also believe a ring should be meaningful to the couple above all. If the composition they like happens to be a cheap material, that's fine. If a person prefers a diamond, the ring should be a diamond. I think the couple should talk it over and choose what works for them and their budget, just like every other decision they will face in their marriage.
As for the original question, I would much rather have something genuine and unique, even if it's not expensive, than an imitation of what's "traditional." Look up the history of diamond engagement rings sometimes. They have not always been the universal standard, that's just marketing, and millions of couples fall for it every year.
So, no, I wouldn't insist on a real diamond, but I would infinitely prefer a real SOMETHING, not because it's costly, but because it's...you know...real. Wearing a fake diamond, other than obvious costume jewelry, would make me feel like I was pretending to be something I am not, just to live up to other people's expectations. I would not end a relationship over it, but I would wonder if the ring was about keeping up appearances, rather than getting something less obvious, but more suited to my own taste.
Last edited by Catgirl64; 06-07-2018 at 03:40 PM..
I would only care if I was lied to, if the ring was presented to me as if it were the real thing....
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