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As some have said, there is only one option here that will bring any change: Just stop volunteering.
Right now you're full of resentment about this, and continuing to take on all the driving is making you MORE resentful. So ... either stop or get over it.
Are you REALLY "soooo drained" from all the driving, or does it just bother you that he doesn't seem to be doing anything about his lack of a vehicle?
If he's not sincerely offering to come up with equitable ways to trade off his lack of driving, then you've got some other more difficult decisions to make.
OK It's obvious to everyone (you included) that he is lying about something. My guess is that he does not have a driver's license due to a DUI or some other reason, *or* he can't pass the test and he is embarrassed to admit it, *or* he was in a terrible accident once (or killed somebody) and is afraid to drive.
WHatever his reason, you've got to get to the bottom of it, and he has to fix the problem so that he can be a whole, independent individual again and YOU can get some relief from driving him all over creation.
OR he can't afford to buy a car, even a used one, for some undisclosed reason. He's hiding something, we just don't know what.
OP, why not suggest he rent a car for the weekend, so you can have a break from driving? Enterprise (if you have one in your community, or nearby) charges something like $35 for three days on the weekends, and they come to the customer's location, and pick them up to go to the company office for the car and paperwork. Watch how he reacts to that suggestion.
And if he nixes it, tell him to get an Uber to pick you up in, and take you wherever, to do whatever, on the weekend, because you need a break from driving. Don't make a big deal out of it, just be matter-of-fact. See what happens.
Refuse to pick him up, he can catch the bus & meet you wherever you are going. He can also make his own way home. As long as you keep being chauffeur, he probably sees no need for a car.
Could it be that something has happened that makes him fearful of driving?
Whatever is going on, I think you should find out what it is and address it honestly. Continuing as you are and growing more and more resentful is not going to help either of you.
First off, we live in a city where you need a car to get around, it's not like NYC where public transport is great. My boyfriend is a good guy, he's caring, thoughtful, gives me massages, helps me around the house and is fun to be with.
When we first met he was taking the bus a lot and I asked him if he had a car and he said yes but prefers to get the bus, I forget what his reason was, I think it was more relaxing for him. When he first came to my house I actually picked him up from the bus stop because I didn't want him walking around dark back streets as there was recently a shooting.
A few months into us being official, his truck breaks down. Sometimes his friend would let him borrow his truck on the weekends but now that's over. So I do ALL the driving and he lives 25 miles from me. I'm tired of it, he knows this. I feel like an Uber driver. He says he's waiting for his foot to heal (he had an accident) before he gets a new car, which makes no sense to me because wouldn't you want to drive and use your feet less so it can heal? Anyway prior to his foot accident (which was ages ago now) he was waiting to build up his credit to get a new car. His credit is fine now. I feel like it's one excuse after another. He's done other things with his bad foot i.e. Vegas, music shows, been to wrestling matches.
It's been over a year and there's no progress and I'm sooooo drained from all this driving. Even on my birthday I had to pick him up and drop him home. I'm not sure what to do because this is our only problem.
I'm not interested in having to nag at someone. I don't want to be someone's mom.
I briefly dated a guy without a car, but it’s a problem for me. Hopefully your boyfriend will get a car soon.
They just love jumping to conclusions on this site.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Pip
Haha I know!
That is true, to a certain extent. However, you have asked a question and presented a problem, and I think most of the people who have responded really are making a good-faith attempt to help you solve it.
The bottom line is, either there is some reason for his behavior that he has not shared with you, or he just doesn't want to go to the trouble of driving himself when you are willing to do it for him.
Refuse to pick him up, he can catch the bus & meet you wherever you are going. He can also make his own way home. As long as you keep being chauffeur, he probably sees no need for a car.
You're right and I will definitely let him know this ain't happening anymore.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 12 days ago)
35,638 posts, read 17,994,810 times
Reputation: 50680
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Pip
You're right and I will definitely let him know this ain't happening anymore.
It'll be interesting to hear what he has to say. It's really hard for me to believe that it's as simple as "he doesn't like to drive".
Since he had the wreck, it may be that he's actually too anxious to drive.
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