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So I need some help from straight guys out there. I am gay and out but not loud and proud either as in I don’t flaunt it. A few months ago I met this guy at work and yes he’s cute and all but I really like him as a dude he’s a cool guy. A few weeks ago he mentioned problems with his girlfriend (who also works there) and that the relationship was over. He came to me for guidance as I’m older and a bit more wiser. I am totally not trying to get into his pants but I am going through similar issues with my other half so we definitely have something to talk about. So he asked me to hangout with him Thursday to smoke and I told him yes. He said “I am comfortable with my sexuality just don’t tell (his ex girlfriend) we are hanging out.....” suddenly I am really Caught off guard but I said dude don’t worry I won’t tell her and I know you are not gay. So now 3 days later he hasn’t messaged me and acts weird at work don’t say anything. So what’s the deal here? I genuinely wanted to hangout with him.
Unfortunately he may not be able to handle it now that he doesn't have a girlfriend in the background. He's afraid that it and he'll look bad to others. Maybe he'll come around and you can hang out but I don't think that it's anything you can force, and you don't want to because it'll just be weird(er).
Maybe you can just be a part of whatever group he's in and he can get more comfortable that way? Anyway, it sounds like you have a crush so be aware of how that is affecting your own behavior.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants
He is not comfortable with his sexuality if he is all worried about people thinking he is gay because he has a gay friend.
Yup. That's exactly it. If a dude is really comfortable in his sexuality he's not worried about any of that crud, nor protesting they are 100% straight or whatnot. Clear sign they have insecurities/issues.
Actually that is my intention. I posted here to get feedback on how to handle it and see from a straight guys prospective. I am in need of a friend and he’s been depressed bc he doesn’t have friends here either. I think he’s a good person and I’d like to be his friend. I figured someone would say this but why can’t a gay guy and a straight guy hangout and not fool around? By the way it was HIS idea to hangout and smoke together.
... why can’t a gay guy and a straight guy hangout and not fool around?
You tell us.
The only weird thing I read is that he asked you not to tell his girlfriend. The minute that happens, something shady is going on and you should know it's NOT just two friends hanging out.
My ex husband had a gay co-worker who became a great friend to him, and we often went out to dinner together with him and his partner. I never once questioned his intentions because he behaved as a true friend and he kept everything above board. I know for a fact my ex never pulled that "don't tell my wife" crap.
Actually that is my intention. I posted here to get feedback on how to handle it and see from a straight guys prospective. I am in need of a friend and he’s been depressed bc he doesn’t have friends here either. I think he’s a good person and I’d like to be his friend. I figured someone would say this but why can’t a gay guy and a straight guy hangout and not fool around? By the way it was HIS idea to hangout and smoke together.
And yet you made a point to tell us that you are physically attracted to him by describing him as"cute."
Most guys don't notice or note that about their same-sex friends. So yeah, you are hoping something happens and may have given that away be being too eager to get alone with him and some intoxicants.
Maybe you are better off with gay or female friends. Likewise I'm sure he can find a straight bro or a girlfriend to help him out of his depression.
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