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I have two experiences of this. They would asked me out but also asked me to plan where we are going to eat, what we are going to do. In another instance, someone I knew wanted to go hiking, but commented that I should ask him when I am going.
Is this a new trend?
How do you response to these things without being mean?
Man...that would not appeal to me at all! At least, not for a first date kind of thing. Further along in a relationship, I'd be pretty OK with the planning going both ways, but not in the beginning.
But...maybe the guys are new in town, and don't know the area very well?
I have two experiences of this. They would asked me out but also asked me to plan where we are going to eat, what we are going to do. In another instance, someone I knew wanted to go hiking, but commented that I should ask him when I am going.
Is this a new trend?
How do you response to these things without being mean?
Why be mean? I don't get it. These guys want your input on what to do on a date. I don't think that's such a bad thing.
As far as the hiking thing, maybe he's not really sure about your interest level. By putting the ball in your court, that's how he thinks he may find out. So if you're into him at all, tell him the next time you're going hiking. No big deal.
Sassy also had a point about him maybe being new in town. That was the situation with my SO. Now that we've been together a while and he's gotten more familiar with the area, he takes the lead more often.
I am the planner in my relationship. I am the person who makes things happen whether it be planning a vacation, budgeting, buying a house, scheduling doctor appts, etc. All of the admin and logistical stuff related to those things I handle.
In regards to planning vacations it is great for me. Usually my husband has a few things his wants to do but other than that he is flexible so I get to plan what I want to do and he goes along without complaint.
Meanwhile, he does more cooking, cleaning, etc. to balance it out.
I could see if he doesn’t want to make any decisions but if he’s asking for your input on something you may have more knowledge in Why is it such a turn off for women to have to make decisions on anything?
You’re a grown adult who has opinions on where you want to go or what you want to do no?
I don’t get women who want the man to make every decision like they’re a child incapable of input.
Are some women ingrained from early on that a man must make all the decisions in a relationship even if he’s not as knowledgeable then the women regarding certain things?
Man...that would not appeal to me at all! At least, not for a first date kind of thing. Further along in a relationship, I'd be pretty OK with the planning going both ways, but not in the beginning.
But...maybe the guys are new in town, and don't know the area very well?
No that is not it. I would say in the first few dates, they planned. But after that, they switched to "invite me and I will come" mode. At the time, I was okay with it. And I don't mind planning since I want to do something for them as well. But it gets old, and it doesn't seem like they are asking me out anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
My ex was like that. It’s a big reason he’s my ex.
Yup, me too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Onn
Why be mean? I don't get it. These guys want your input on what to do on a date. I don't think that's such a bad thing.
As far as the hiking thing, maybe he's not really sure about your interest level. By putting the ball in your court, that's how he thinks he may find out. So if you're into him at all, tell him the next time you're going hiking. No big deal.
Sassy also had a point about him maybe being new in town. That was the situation with my SO. Now that we've been together a while and he's gotten more familiar with the area, he takes the lead more often.
Nope, he is not new in town. I am not saying I would be mean. But I was annoyed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckeeesmom
I am the planner in my relationship. I am the person who makes things happen whether it be planning a vacation, budgeting, buying a house, scheduling doctor appts, etc. All of the admin and logistical stuff related to those things I handle.
In regards to planning vacations it is great for me. Usually my husband has a few things his wants to do but other than that he is flexible so I get to plan what I want to do and he goes along without complaint.
Meanwhile, he does more cooking, cleaning, etc. to balance it out.
Sounds like he is a good man!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
I could see if he doesn’t want to make any decisions but if he’s asking for your input on something you may have more knowledge in Why is it such a turn off for women to have to make decisions on anything?
You’re a grown adult who has opinions on where you want to go or what you want to do no?
I don’t get women who want the man to make every decision like they’re a child incapable of input.
Are some women ingrained from early on that a man must make all the decisions in a relationship even if he’s not as knowledgeable then the women regarding certain things?
hmm...no, he didn't ask for opinions. He just put it on me to plan for him. I am not sure where you get that idea that women want the men to make every decision. We are talking about effort here in a relationship and both people need to put in work.
Why is the male required to do all of the planning?
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