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I would be concerned too, and would wonder if he was being secretive about his spending.
Does he have his phone password protected also? I don't blame you for being upset.
I've always had my phone password protected. Not to be secretive from my spouse, but simply because if I lost my phone, I would not want strangers to have access to my information. I would think it was crazy not to have a password protected phone but I guess in this day and age it would result in "He won't give me the password so I can look through his phone, should I dump him?" threads.
I've always had my phone password protected. Not to be secretive from my spouse, but simply because if I lost my phone, I would not want strangers to have access to my information. I would think it was crazy not to have a password protected phone but I guess in this day and age it would result in "He won't give me the password so I can look through his phone, should I dump him?" threads.
His phone is not protected at all. Mine is for security reasons, but he knows my pin for my phone.
My bf of 2 years and i work together. It was about to storm and i get off of work 1 hour earlier than he does so I offered to pick up ingredients for a meal we were going to cook together. I still don't have a key to his place so he came to give it to me. I asked for his debit card to pick up the stuff at the store (I am able to get it myself, but I had been spending a lot on us lately so it was his turn to pay) and he said "you can't be knowing my debit card number ". He didnt want to. I was shocked he didn't trust me with his money as I never displayed any distrust with him at all. I would trust him with mine.
What's up with that???
It's call having common sense when it comes to protecting what is yours.Those are serious things to have and everyone should keep their personal PIN numbers to themselves.I agree with him 100%.I don't understand WHY some women and men in relationships thinks it;s ok to share with their partner passwords,pins,.,.,what the hell is wrong with some people??!!! It's about having your own privacy which you have had since you left your parents home...so WHY would you want to give up that freedom??It's crazy.What you should have done is asked him before he came to give you his key to his apt..for him to have gone to his atm and drawn out the money from his card..and given you the money THAT way. I never gave any of my partners my PINs to ANYTHING!!! It's insane and foolish. Doesn't mean I am hiding anything awful from the people..I was PROTECTING my PRIVACY..very simple.Now one of my ex-bf did end up at times having me go to his bank with his card to withdraw some money.I felt weird about that but obviously he didn't care.It was mainly to benefit him anyways when he was too drunk the next day to go anywhere so he would have me take out some money.I would always give him the receipt for the transaction.Some people are different in that way BUT I don't give my pins to anyone...even when I was married...nope..never shared my finances...I kept what was mine in my name only and if we were to end up using my card..he would pay me his half for me to put back on my card...other then that..we used our own money.Keep most finances separate.
Last edited by codergirl; 07-06-2018 at 10:44 AM..
I'd be upset, just like the OP. I'm very protective of my pin, but they've been gf/bf for TWO years! Good grief! If he can't trust her at this point, WHEN will he trust her?
I once got a credit card for a g/f who I'd met one time. She didn't have money to buy Christmas gifts, so I got her a card with a low limit -- $3,000 or $3,500. It was mostly just so she'd have some spending money, but I also wanted to know that I could trust her. She passed the test. We were married a year later.
I want to think the guy was just surprised at the request and, without thinking, answered like he'd reply to a casual friend making the request. "WHAT!? NO!"
I'm being generous. Might be time for a little "how much do you trust me?" chat.
I'd be way more upset that he hasn't given a key to his place yet. I don't have an issue about the pin number because I don't keep track of who pays for what. It doesn't matter enough for me to quibble about it. And I can understand that finances are one's own business until and unless you get married. In which case it's necessary to make an agreement for how those finances will be managed.
Not married, don't live together, and don't share expenses? No way in hell I'd give my debit card number either in that situation. Even working in banking 10 years, debit card transactions are the least bothersome to dispute but I trust NO ONE with access with my money.
I agree with The Dissenter but it looks like we are in the minority.
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Even working in banking 10 years, debit card transactions are the least bothersome to dispute but I trust NO ONE with access with my money.
