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So recently my life went from peaceful to a little chaotic. In the past 2 months I've had a daughter buy a woman who has two children already a 12 year old and a four year old. At first we were good friends for 8 years her husband passes and then we start seeing each other. Speed up and my daughter was born in March. I have no problem with her kids but I feel as if she doesn't really pay attention to me. Just her kids. I know her kids come first before me I get that but is it really by that much? She only tells me she loves me like once every week. But she treats her kids like their Kings but really they are ****ing brats who are spoiled. cant discipline them cuz she doesnt think it's ok. So I don't and they act out alot. We currently live together and I don't plan on leaving. Also she babies both of them. So wen I try and be a little tough she says I'm being mean. I thought women were supposed to treat men like their Kings no matter what?? This makes me act a little childish around her like being short or just simply not talking no to her. really need help should I stay for my daughter or should I leave and just co parent from a distance.
So recently my life went from peaceful to a little chaotic. In the past 2 months I've had a daughter buy a woman who has two children already a 12 year old and a four year old. At first we were good friends for 8 years her husband passes and then we start seeing each other. Speed up and my daughter was born in March. I have no problem with her kids but I feel as if she doesn't really pay attention to me. Just her kids. I know her kids come first before me I get that but is it really by that much? She only tells me she loves me like once every week. But she treats her kids like their Kings but really they are ****ing brats who are spoiled. cant discipline them cuz she doesnt think it's ok. So I don't and they act out alot. We currently live together and I don't plan on leaving. Also she babies both of them. So wen I try and be a little tough she says I'm being mean. I thought women were supposed to treat men like their Kings no matter what?? This makes me act a little childish around her like being short or just simply not talking no to her. really need help should I stay for my daughter or should I leave and just co parent from a distance.
No, women were NOT supposed to treat men like their Kings no matter what. And YES you are acting little childish.
BTW: who is the father of the four year old child? Is he involved as a parent and supporter?
What are you plans for this relationship? Are you supporting all her kids financially? Or just yours?
4 year old dad is dead. We split everything but she had her own place I recently moved in. I understand I been a little childish, but I'm not happy and that's the point I'm getting at. Also she is incredibly mean to me but nice to her kids and it makes me feel a certain type of way. I get nothing from her but a list of stuff I should be doing, No goodmorning like her kids get, no time just to cuddle which her kids get, and etc. I might be overreacting which is a possibility. I think I should just suck it up and make my life about my daughter and do the best I can for my girl and her kids and communicate with her and try to work this out because, now I'm starting to feel depressed.
No, women were NOT supposed to treat men like their Kings no matter what. And YES you are acting little childish.
BTW: who is the father of the four year old child? Is he involved as a parent and supporter?
What are you plans for this relationship? Are you supporting all her kids financially? Or just yours?
Also when I mentioned king I didn't mean waiting on me or doing everything I want. Let me know you love me, care about things I care about, like I care about u caring for your kids. Don't put me down and always talk in an aggressive manner towards me.
4 year old dad is dead. We split everything but she had her own place I recently moved in. I understand I been a little childish, but I'm not happy and that's the point I'm getting at. Also she is incredibly mean to me but nice to her kids and it makes me feel a certain type of way. I get nothing from her but a list of stuff I should be doing, No goodmorning like her kids get, no time just to cuddle which her kids get, and etc. I might be overreacting which is a possibility. I think I should just suck it up and make my life about my daughter and do the best I can for my girl and her kids and communicate with her and try to work this out because, now I'm starting to feel depressed.
Thanks for answering my question....
Have you told her any of this? Are you able to get a sitter and spend any one-on-one time together? She's not a mind-reader, and you're both adults who need to communicate your needs without getting angry or defensive.
Have you told her any of this? Are you able to get a sitter and spend any one-on-one time together? She's not a mind-reader, and you're both adults who need to communicate your needs without getting angry or defensive.
I have explained this to her. All she responds with is her kids mean everything to her and is willing to dispose of our relationship at a moment's notice if she feels her kids well being is in jeopardy. Mind you besides the discipline, I am great with her kids and our daughter.
My friend told me it's post pardom depression from the pregnancy. I hope that that's what this is because I wouldn't be on this forum seeking opinions if it wasn't that serious.
I would have a very hard time wanting to stay around with someone who is such a mismatch on child rearing.
Beyond her nastiness towards you you still have the conflicts between how she chooses to discipline/raise the children.
She’s told you exactly how she feels. Her kids will come before anything and anyone, believe her. You’re nothing to her in the moments she views her children as a priority.
There's a huge piece missing from this picture. How did she treat you before the child was born? Before the pregnancy? Is this a sudden change, in how she relates to you?
Her response, that she's ready to dispose of the relationship with you if she feels her kids' well-being is in jeopardy, isn't relevant to your concerns. Why would her kids' well-being be in jeopardy? What does that have to do with her rudeness toward you? What kind of behavior model is that, to present to her kids? Is she trying to raise them to be rude toward adults? Tell her to quit being rude to you. "My kids mean everything to me" is not a response to "why are. you so rude to me? Knock it off". It's an attempt to change the subject. It's a deflecting tactic. Stick with your topic, and get her to address it.
Maybe she's mad that she got pregnant, and has a third child to feed and care for? There may be underlying issues to that rudeness, that would need to be discussed.
Good luck. And next time, be more careful with the birth control. Also consider, that this isn't shaping up to be a good environment, in which to raise your daughter. Raising a child in an atmosphere of adult conflict will saddle that child with emotional baggage for life. You might consult with a lawyer, just as a sort of fact-finding mission to inform yourself, on your options in terms of child custody. You're not married to her, so it's not clear what rights you'd have, if you lived separately from her. Is your name on the child's birth certificate?
I would have a very hard time wanting to stay around with someone who is such a mismatch on child rearing.
Beyond her nastiness towards you you still have the conflicts between how she chooses to discipline/raise the children.
She’s told you exactly how she feels. Her kids will come before anything and anyone, believe her. You’re nothing to her in the moments she views her children as a priority.
A part of me feels like this is ok but not to the extent she's putting it to be. I would want my girl to treat my kids very well if I was dead.
All in all I love her very much with all my heart I'm going to communicate my issues with her as a man should and tell her the balance of her children and our relationship is a little off and I deserve to be treated better. I don't know alot of guys who would put up with this same situation. But my daughter means everything to me. And I need to giver her a stable home.
So recently my life went from peaceful to a little chaotic. In the past 2 months I've had a daughter buy a woman who has two children already a 12 year old and a four year old. At first we were good friends for 8 years her husband passes and then we start seeing each other. Speed up and my daughter was born in March. I have no problem with her kids but I feel as if she doesn't really pay attention to me. Just her kids. I know her kids come first before me I get that but is it really by that much? She only tells me she loves me like once every week. But she treats her kids like their Kings but really they are ****ing brats who are spoiled. cant discipline them cuz she doesnt think it's ok. So I don't and they act out alot. We currently live together and I don't plan on leaving. Also she babies both of them. So wen I try and be a little tough she says I'm being mean. I thought women were supposed to treat men like their Kings no matter what?? This makes me act a little childish around her like being short or just simply not talking no to her. really need help should I stay for my daughter or should I leave and just co parent from a distance.
You answered your own question before you even asked it. You don't plan on leaving. If you stay, the life you have today will be the life you have going forward. She sounds like she is unwilling to compromise in any way and disregards how you feel. She is not going to do a complete turnaround on how she treats/raises her kids. It just won't happen.
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