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I think what he is doing is just fine. You aren't a human being, deserving of respect, who should have a partner instead of a millstone around your neck. It is best that you settle for being used by a moocher with endless, empty excuses. Such as "God will provide".
Why did you start this thread? Why should you feel resentful?
Wow, this a pretty heartless reply isn't it?? A little compassion goes along way for the OP that is trying to make a major choice in her life.
Wow, this a pretty heartless reply isn't it?? A little compassion goes along way for the OP that is trying to make a major choice in her life.
The OP already made an incredibly poor major choice in her life. She's been married to this loser for 5 years and he's been unemployed for the last 4 1/2 of them. The clock is ticking on the point where she's going to get slaughtered in a divorce. This is a time for a motivating boot in the tail, not compassion.
Wow, this a pretty heartless reply isn't it?? A little compassion goes along way for the OP that is trying to make a major choice in her life.
Not at all. OP obviously feels she deserves what she is getting. I notice that she did not object at all to my comment. That's very telling, don't you think?
Not at all. OP obviously feels she deserves what she is getting. I notice that she did not object at all to my comment. That's very telling, don't you think?
Your comment was so cruel that I assumed it was sarcasm because even I am not that mean to people on here.
Wow, this a pretty heartless reply isn't it?? A little compassion goes along way for the OP that is trying to make a major choice in her life.
Reverse psychology. She hoped to get the OP to defend herself, and realize she deserved better, but the OP's self-esteem seems to be so low, that she couldn't rise to the occasion.
At any rate, the OP seems to be on the right track, now.
I think what he is doing is just fine. You aren't a human being, deserving of respect, who should have a partner instead of a millstone around your neck. It is best that you settle for being used by a moocher with endless, empty excuses. Such as "God will provide".
Why did you start this thread? Why should you feel resentful?
I took this post as tongue in cheek or reverse psychology, so no worries. I definitely know that I deserve better, but I've been holding on because I did have hope that things will get better. I'm not afraid of being alone, per se, as much as I didn't want to come to terms with another failed marriage.
@canadiangirl_2015
Your statement about losing respect for him, hits the nail on the head! When the respect starts to wane, resentment sets in. I am grateful for the little he does, but I need more from a husband.
" The lord will provide a job" is completely silly. Of course, a job will not come knocking on the door. Sometimes I felt like he chastised me (verbally) for not "having enough faith". I wanted to believe it would get better. We've talked about my frustration from time to time but I think he dismissed my concerns because he "feels things will work out just fine". He always take an optimistic view to any issue, which keeps him from having to move to action.
I agree that he's too comfortable to make any changes at this point.
@Sassybluesy
He says he say a lawyer years before I met him to try and modify his case but had no success and have since given up on it. When I've asked him to try again, is when he says he doesn't want to get involved with "the money driven court system". Again, he feels like the mothers will forgive the debt one day or that God will work it out for him. Of course, this approach frustrates me so we end up arguing about it and then I just remove myself from all talks of his child support issues and stay vigilant about keeping our finances separate.
In any event, I welcome all comments and specific advice regarding how to proceed. I've made an appt to consult with a lawyer next week to get realistic expectations about my case and factual info about our state laws.
I took this post as tongue in cheek or reverse psychology, so no worries. I definitely know that I deserve better, but I've been holding on because I did have hope that things will get better. I'm not afraid of being alone, per se, as much as I didn't want to come to terms with another failed marriage.
@canadiangirl_2015
Your statement about losing respect for him, hits the nail on the head! When the respect starts to wane, resentment sets in. I am grateful for the little he does, but I need more from a husband.
" The lord will provide a job" is completely silly. Of course, a job will not come knocking on the door. Sometimes I felt like he chastised me (verbally) for not "having enough faith". I wanted to believe it would get better. We've talked about my frustration from time to time but I think he dismissed my concerns because he "feels things will work out just fine". He always take an optimistic view to any issue, which keeps him from having to move to action.
I agree that he's too comfortable to make any changes at this point.
@Sassybluesy
He says he say a lawyer years before I met him to try and modify his case but had no success and have since given up on it. When I've asked him to try again, is when he says he doesn't want to get involved with "the money driven court system". Again, he feels like the mothers will forgive the debt one day or that God will work it out for him. Of course, this approach frustrates me so we end up arguing about it and then I just remove myself from all talks of his child support issues and stay vigilant about keeping our finances separate.
In any event, I welcome all comments and specific advice regarding how to proceed. I've made an appt to consult with a lawyer next week to get realistic expectations about my case and factual info about our state laws.
Nkot2013--I have been in your shoes!! My son's father cheated on me all the time butI stayed with him because I believed that I could not survive without him and I that I loved him so much it would break my heart to leave him. He was a smooth talker and I believed all his lies just like you are being fed. I wouldn't listen to my family and friends and take their advice. Until you can look in the mirror and say I can't live like this anymore and mean it, say he is a bum and divorce him you are stuck with him. Don't even come back to this thread until you take some divorce action!!! You are wasting your time and ours.
Depending on the specifics of his child support the mother may not be able to "just forgive the debt" the government can garnish his social security checks. By that time his children could be in their 40s.
The more that you write about him, the worse that he seems.
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