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Well I feel that once I told them what I did for work and hobbies, they would ask when did I do that, and then I would say for the past couple of years, and then they would ask what I did before that, as I really didn't want to answer since I really hated a lot of what I did for work and hobbies before then.
It just kept going back to the past further and further.
The more you try to evade the questions the more they'll wonder why and may keep prying. Its understandable for them to want to know something about you. Put yourself in their shoes...wouldn't you want to know something about the person your daughter was dating? If you let them learn a little bit they may stop grilling you as much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
You could always try the "semi-confessional". For example, regarding career goals, "When I was younger, I was pretty unfocused, and made some decisions that I wish I'd done differently, but I've got a plan now." (And then go into a bit of detail what that plan is. You don't need to go full-on...they just want to know you have goals that bode well for their daughter.
I agree with the quoted comments. It's easier to just get it over with. Don't make it seem like you're hiding something. You can be honest without going into too much detail.
Just tell them straight up that you've made a lot of mistakes and worked at countless dead end jobs over the years, and then switch the focus to your future goals - including your film career.
I don't understand the comment about hobbies. You're ashamed of your hobbies? Please provide an example so we can get a better understanding of why this is an issue. Is it that you don't want to tell them that you play video games all day long or something like that?
Basically I am ashamed of lack of hobbies. I spent over 10 years mostly locking myself in my room everyday and not talking to anyone. I just feel really ashamed of it in the sense that I have no good past memories since I did that for so much of my life and feel that I have missed out a lot, and wasted so much time, and feel ashamed by it.
Basically I am ashamed of lack of hobbies. I spent over 10 years mostly locking myself in my room everyday and not talking to anyone. I just feel really ashamed of it in the sense that I have no good past memories since I did that for so much of my life and feel that I have missed out a lot, and wasted so much time, and feel ashamed by it.
So, when asked about hobbies, why not just tell them that you love watching movies? You could tell them that's your passion, and then talk about your future feature length film goal. It's all tied together, and I don't think they'll think any less of you for saying that.
Yeah I guess I just feel like I really could have done more. I mean everyone I know has done more than me over the years. My friend practiced at music since his teens and became a musician for example. Or my gf went to law school and has a much better job than me over the years, etc.
Yeah I guess I just feel like I really could have done more. I mean everyone I know has done more than me over the years. My friend practiced at music since his teens and became a musician for example. Or my gf went to law school and has a much better job than me over the years, etc.
So I feel super inadequate compared to her.
Understandable. Even more reason to talk about the future.
Slightly OT: Do you think your bedroom "problems" are tied to this?
Oh um not sure if the bedroom problems were tied to this. Basically I thought I had certain kinky fetishes before, such as being manhandled and things like that, where as a lot of women including her are not into that. But maybe it's tied together.
Oh um not sure if the bedroom problems were tied to this. Basically I thought I had certain kinky fetishes before, such as being manhandled and things like that, where as a lot of women including her are not into that. But maybe it's tied together.
Well, a low self-image definitely affects your bedroom performance, but you really need to stick to one problem here.
There are ways to gloss over personal questions. The main thing you need to do is not lie. Lying only sets you up to have to remember what you told people before.
But this really shouldn't be an ongoing question. I can't picture your GF's parents quizzing you about this same subject over and over.
Please understand that the fact that you can't answer this question without feeling sick is a huge red flag that you need to get help to resolve your feelings about that part of your life. I guess I should get a clue and stop posting in your threads because I can only tell you to get therapy so many times.
Okay thanks, I had some therapy before but work got in the way, but was referred to a new therapist recently and will make an appointment.
The sex actually hasn't been much of a problem with the gf, as I feel more comfortable with her now and there haven't been many performance issues lately.
Well I feel that once I told them what I did for work and hobbies, they would ask when did I do that, and then I would say for the past couple of years, and then they would ask what I did before that, as I really didn't want to answer since I really hated a lot of what I did for work and hobbies before then.
It just kept going back to the past further and further.
I am going to delve all the way back into your past. It's not an interrogation or a job interview, they simply trying to get to know you as a person and start conversation. Do you really have to try to separate out your own shameful feelings about your past from really what is innocent conversation. Also I'm sure they are well aware of your issues since I assume their daughter has her own struggles, and I don't think they will judge you.
IMO the fact that you know a lot about movies, have worked on movie sets even in a helper role, have made your own short films, are very cool and unique things. Even if it's just a hobby and not an actual job, it's cool. Being able to answer "I'm currently writing a screenplay about......" is cool. I don't think you need to feel ashamed of your life at all.
Last edited by ocnjgirl; 11-27-2018 at 08:15 AM..
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