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When someone won't block somebody like this, they're getting some kind of kick out of reading "all about it". Such as enjoying hearing about what problems the new girl is having with the ex.
Blocking is such an obvious solution, otherwise.
My ex lived with me for 5 yrs until I made him move out because he didn't pay any bills and refused to work except for odd jobs. After he left, we still texted and visited regularly but no sex was involved. He would leave birthday and Valentine's gifts in front of my door and he always seemed jealous of me being out with friends and get upset when I didn't respond to his texts right away. When we would get together around twice a month, his conversations consisted of him telling me he was going to be homeless if he didn't figure out what to do.His truck was falling apart and he was perpetually working on it.
After a year of these visits, I saw on social media, that he was frequently in pictures with a woman. I asked him why he still visited me if he was with her now. He said he had been working on her house and hung out with her sometimes. He also said that she was very insecure and crazy. The last time that I saw him, he had come over and asked if I would rent my spare bedroom to him. I didn't give him an answer but asked if he could stay with the woman while he worked on her house as she seemed to like having him around. He said he couldn't breath well there since she had 6 dogs living indoors.
After he left, the woman called me for the first time and asked me what kind of relationship he and I had. I told her we texted and visited regularly but didn't have sex. She informed me that they had been practically living together for a year and she had purchased him a truck, an iPhone, and given him use of 2 of her bank cards. She also said she had met his family and he had met hers. I was of course very perplexed and wondered if I ever really knew him since he had gone into such detail on a regular basis about his dire living situation.
She texted me after she confronted him and said she told him she was taking everything back that she had purchased him and was done with his dishonesty. The very next day she texted and said he was ready to be an honest man and would marry her that day if she wanted. He told her he would never speak to me again if she never brought me up again. She posted a picture of them out dining with her son and grandkids later that day. She texted me a few more times letting me know that they were building a life together and she told him it was important to her for him to tell me that they were together now. I didn't respond to those texts.
Unbeknownst to her, I feel hurt by his lies to me also, but he didn't attempt to apologize to me. He just disappeared from my life. A week after his pledge of love to her, she texted me again saying he was acting strange again and didn't know if she could believe him because of all his lies and wanted to vent. I didn't respond to that either.
A few days after that she called and left a voicemail asking if I would meet her for lunch and talk. Once again, I did not respond. A week after that, she called late on a Saturday night. I didn't answer and she texted asking if I could talk. I didn't respond. She texted a few days later saying that she wanted to get the truth out of him, that we both deserved that and would I call her so she could put him on speaker to tell me.
I didn't respond to that as I had no idea what she meant and for that matter, I didn't want to get on her ridiculous level. I have not heard another word from him but I haven't told her that.
Can someone shed some light on this nuttiness?
Why after being with this lazy person for 5 years...did you think it was ok to still be in contact with him?..acting like what he did to you never hurt you?(meaning you allowing this friendship...you allowing him to come over and chat like he was a good friend of yours).He was using you all those 5 yrs just like he's been using his gf. He is HER problem now.You are right to NOT respond to her messages and if that ex bf calls you eventually down the line...don't pick up! He's a lazy freeloader.
IDK, OP; I don't see how it could hurt to text her back and say, that you haven't seen nor heard from him since X date, which is fine with you, since he's an ex, and he and his dishonesty are all hers to deal with now. Wish her luck, and say you've washed your hands of him, so you won't be responding to her anymore.
That would give her some closure and reassurance, that you're not a secret FWB of his, or something, or that there's even an emotional connection between him and you. It's over, so it couldn't hurt to reassure her about that, could it?
I'll also add, I doubt she's crazy. Your ex set her up to be the crazy one as part of his strategy of keeping you as his backup while leeching off of her. All of a sudden, she realizes that the life she thought she was living isn't true. Her response isn't crazy, though either of you maintaining ANY contact with this man is absolutely nuts.
IDK, OP; I don't see how it could hurt to text her back and say, that you haven't seen nor heard from him since X date, which is fine with you, since he's an ex, and he and his dishonesty are all hers to deal with now. Wish her luck, and say you've washed your hands of him, so you won't be responding to her anymore.
That would give her some closure and reassurance, that you're not a secret FWB of his, or something, or that there's even an emotional connection between him and you. It's over, so it couldn't hurt to reassure her about that, could it?
Right? Tell her the truth and set him free. What are you getting out of reading the messages and not Answering? What does that prove? It shows you’re playing the game and making her guess.
Tell her, and block them, move on for real . THEN you’ll be the grownup.
You can tell her or not tell her (personally I wouldn't tell) but blocking both of them is a great idea.
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