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Anyone's in-laws can be a PITA, rich or poor, I hardly consider money the issue.
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My definition of dating "down" is being with/dating someone I truly don't want to be with/date/have interest in.
So no, I've never done that.
Yeh... definitely don't do that... even if you look "good" (whatever that ends up meaning) together.
The other day, I was with some friends and ran into a rather strange fellow (ok.. he was high on something). A bit boisterous and arrogant... claimed to make 1 to 2 mil a year... worked out (I have to admit he was very fit for his age).. a dentist. He kept saying how i should this and that to improve my life and such (I think he assumed I didn't go to college.. ). How his wife is attractive, makes all this money, works as surgeon... they make the perfect couple... etc...
Then I asked.. that's why you are here in a gogo bar when you wife thinks you are working?
Yeh... definitely don't do that... even if you look "good" (whatever that ends up meaning) together.
The other day, I was with some friends and ran into a rather strange fellow (ok.. he was high on something). A bit boisterous and arrogant... claimed to make 1 to 2 mil a year... worked out (I have to admit he was very fit for his age).. a dentist. He kept saying how i should this and that to improve my life and such (I think he assumed I didn't go to college.. ). How his wife is attractive and makes all this money... they make the perfect couple... etc...
Then I asked.. that's why you are here in a gogo bar when you wife thinks you are working?
Yeah, that's just ignorance.
Most people don't go around talking about how they're hot stuff and how great their lives are. Most are pretty neutral and have enough sense to behave maturely. The concept of leagues, dating within your lane, just ignores the gray areas of human beings.
Most of the people I know that have had affairs didn't go up or down. It was usually pretty much within their own educational and financial realm. Sometimes one or the other would not even be considered attractive, so maybe it is true that affairs are an indicator of emotional rather than physical need. I think it may be different with the serial cheaters. They probably venture more outside of socioeconomic lines. I suppose there's been a study done somewhere. :-)
It's delusional to create and buy into levels of "humans".
I married a man who had potential, goals and solid values. From society I married up. Fast forward with x hubby ...and years divorced...we both agreed we married equally. He also saw my potential...care and values. The dirt that will bury us doesn't discriminate on up or down ...it simply puts us to rest...
There is no "other side" of the tracks....
Total bs...
Here is another great example.
My ex was raised dirt poor. His normal Christmas is far from what a normal Christmas was for me. We have a child (8 years old) together. Child hates going to his father’s especially for Christmas because his dad does things very differently. Son spent from Friday night Through Christmas morning wih his father, step mother and her children. Normally we have him Christmas morning, so he gets his wants and we prep him to just be grateful, say thank you and when he gets home he will have things that he asked for.
We picked him up the afternoon on a Christmas Day. He got in the car and was livid. He got into it with them because he told them he was disappointed in the gifts they got him which including clothing in a style he hates (wife beater tank tops because her kids wear that style so he should as well), a used iPad and a couple other random cheap toys. His dad was very angry at him, compete with door slamming, driving crazy and threatening the child with not having Christmas next year at all.
It is not a lack of money issue. The father just bought himself a second $70k truck. He thinks that he can just give whatever to our son and he should like it without considering any of his likes, wants or requests.
Ex married down to his level with the new wife. They both have similar back grounds with drug addict, dirt poor parents. Ex and I use to fight about his family all the time. If they were my family, I would have changed my number and never associated with them.
Last edited by LowonLuck; 12-26-2018 at 08:27 AM..
My ex was raised dirt poor. His normal Christmas is far from what a normal Christmas was for me. We have a child (8 years old) together. Child hates going to his father’s especially for Christmas because his dad does things very differently. Son spent from Friday night Through Christmas morning wih his father, step mother and her children. Normally we have him Christmas morning, so he gets his wants and we prep him to just be grateful, say thank you and when he gets home he will have things that he asked for.
We picked him up the afternoon on a Christmas Day. He got in the car and was livid. He got into it with them because he told them he was disappointed in the gifts they got him which including clothing in a style he hates (wife beater tank tops because her kids wear that style so he should as well), a used iPad and a couple other random cheap toys. His dad was very angry at him, compete with door slamming, driving crazy and threatening the child with not having Christmas next year at all.
It is not a lack of money issue. The father just bought himself a second $70k truck. He thinks that he can just give whatever to our son and he should like it without considering any of his likes, wants or requests.
Ex married down to his level with the new wife. They both have similar back grounds with drug addict, dirt poor parents. Ex and I use to figure about his family all the time. If they were my family, I would have changed my number and never associated with them.
I don't care what he received, that was beyond rude. Yeah, if one of our kids complained that gift giving was not up to their standards, they would get nothing the next year too.
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In terms of looks, when you're 58 years old, there's much less distinction between somebody who is a knockout and somebody who is 'unattractive'. People who focus on such things as young people will still continue to focus on such things at age 58, but as a generality...
Formal education is a non-factor.
In terms of intelligence, there's no dating up or down, there's only intelligence compatibility.
In terms of salary, there is a strong possibility of incompatibility between two people with disparate incomes.
But considering yourself better than somebody else because you make more $ is arrogant. It's more of an incompatibility.
As a generality, realistic or not, no good can come of thinking of dating/marrying as up or down. And by that, I mean, no good to yourself.
It has zero to do with salary. It is a class issue.
I was raised upper middle class. My ex was raised dirt poor, sometimes with no food. He now owns his own company and probably makes $140k-200k annually. His class did not improve with the higher salary. He still acts like trash. When he was with me, I could keep him in lone but once he went back to his kind it seems like he forgot everything I tried to teach him
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