Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not always... like when I am PMS’ing and not feeling it, it can be annoying. Ouch! You’re squashing me! Ow! You’re on my hair! Dude! I am flexible, but I am not a contortionist.
True. And to further the point, sex with someone that you really don't FEEL consent for...even if you go along with it because you think you should, but deep down you just DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS PERSON at all... Well, I will relate the feeling I had after I was raped as a teenager, and I felt kinda similar many times after I'd done "maintenance sex" with a husband who was harmful and toxic to me, but I was trying so hard to talk myself into believing, every day, that staying with him was the right thing to do and I needed to be a "good wife"--but was I feeling it? Oh hell no. That feeling? It's the spiritual equivalent of stepping in dog crap with a bare foot.
Yeah, you can go wash it off, and you will, as soon as you can. If you're feeling extra sensitive you might cry or feel sick while you do. But I promise...it does not feel good.
I sometimes think...one's body and soul have a way of trying to tell a person things that their brain stubbornly refuses to hear.
True. And to further the point, sex with someone that you really don't FEEL consent for...even if you go along with it because you think you should, but deep down you just DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS PERSON at all... Well, I will relate the feeling I had after I was raped as a teenager, and I felt kinda similar many times after I'd done "maintenance sex" with a husband who was harmful and toxic to me, but I was trying so hard to talk myself into believing, every day, that staying with him was the right thing to do and I needed to be a "good wife"--but was I feeling it? Oh hell no. That feeling? It's the spiritual equivalent of stepping in dog crap with a bare foot.
Yeah, you can go wash it off, and you will, as soon as you can. If you're feeling extra sensitive you might cry or feel sick while you do. But I promise...it does not feel good.
I sometimes think...one's body and soul have a way of trying to tell a person things that their brain stubbornly refuses to hear.
Yeah, I was also sexually assaulted... and beaten when I was in college. Sometimes I get flashbacks...certain things he does can trigger them. Nothing abusive or rough, just stuff like holding my hands down or my feeling
“Pinned” down. I might get a momentary panic attack. Nothing to do with him, just what happens in my head. Luckily those feeling are getting less and less frequent as time passes. There were times early on that I’d just bury my face in his shoulder and cry. What’s wrong? Oh nothing... you just make me feel so good. Lol
Just wondering...how many of these responses have been made in reference to women providing the maintenance sex versus men doing the reluctant "maintaining"? There are a good number of cases where women have the higher drive than their male partner.
Just wondering...how many of these responses have been made in reference to women providing the maintenance sex versus men doing the reluctant "maintaining"? There are a good number of cases where women have the higher drive than their male partner.
I hope that I can live long enough to tap into some of that.
At this point, I have prostate cancer. It was surgically removed in 2014. It came back in 2018. Last summer I went through radiation treatments and hormone therapy. My Testosterone was reduced to zero and has been held at that level for the past 10 months. Much like 'chemical castration'. I feel a lot less angry about being celibate now. But at the same time, I have a lot less energy to do anything right now.
So you can finally relate to what your wife went through all those years ago.
I agree that your situation is too specific and extreme to apply to the OP.
I hate all the suffering you've both endured, though.
Right now we’re trying to conceive so I am dragging the poor guy into bed or his desk, or the table or the floor.... every chance I get. lol
So we’re pretty much still in the honeymoon stage so no “maintenance” required.
Last edited by Sydney123; 01-21-2019 at 10:10 PM..
Not always... like when I am PMS’ing and not feeling it, it can be annoying. Ouch! You’re squashing me! Ow! You’re on my hair! Dude! I am flexible, but I am not a contortionist.
Well, that goes without saying, or if they had taken ill, like the flu or something. But I hear complaints where the wife is rarely in the mood. Or the maint. sex is only but once a month or even longer or they "always have a headache". Other than that, I can't see why not.
We have plenty of maintenance sex, but we're both consenting to that because maintaining our sex life and deep emotional connection is important to us both, and depends on this. Of course, this does not means always, or any time - there are plenty of good reasons to defer it to another day, but when such reasons don't exist, we go for it. And we are happier for it, and happier with each other. We also have plenty of mutually fabulous sex. We both like sex, but sometimes need some help from our partner to get into the mood. But when we make the effort, if inevitably works!
If you need the stars and planets to align so you feel like it, then it won't happen much. And if your partner has the same dysfunctional attitude, I doubt the relationship will last. Of course, this assumes you do love each other, like each other, and want each other to be happy and satisfied in the marriage or relationship. If you don't, then you're just using that person for your own ends, and that would be truly despicable.
Well, that goes without saying, or if they had taken ill, like the flu or something. But I hear complaints where the wife is rarely in the mood.
That can be subjective, though. Like that joke from Annie Hall, one person's "constantly" having sex is another person's "hardly ever." We can only hope that a couple has enough empathy for each other and communicates well enough that neither of them feel pressured or resentful.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
