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You're not the "bad guy" at all. It is important to acknowledge red flags when you see them and give some thought to what you want in your life and what you don't want. I have a relative who is an actor in Hollywood. He has had bit parts for 3 decades and is a Screen Actors Guild member. He has remained single with no children, and always had to do low paid restaurant & hotel work in order to make ends meet. According to him, that kind of work is common in order to have time to audition for acting jobs.
This guy doesn’t seem to want to do any work outside of acting. He quits all of his day jobs after a few months because he gets bored and feels like it’s a waste of time. Meanwhile, he’s had like ONE acting job as an extra that lasted for like a week and he’s a SAG member also (but so what? It hasn’t helped him any). At this point, he’s angry at the world and feels like someone owes him an acting job. I unfortunately just don’t see things improving for him as long as he has the same mindset that he currently does. But he has every right to do whatever he wants with his life, I just don’t want to involve myself with him.
For me it's simple. Just ask yourself if he matches at least 70 % of your long-term relationship criteria. Pull a list of your top 10 criteria and go through it one by one and do the math. if he gets less than 7/10 than you need to ask yourself a second question. Do you desire him and want to experience a sexual relationship with him? If yes, why not just having fun...nothing to lose, no engagement and you don't have to care about his problems. You don't have to be ashamed or find explanations about your way to judge him. We all judge each other. We do all time mostly unconsciously. We all have a judgment every day in the work for our colleges, in the street, in the club for the guy/girl dancing in front of us. It's scientifically proven. Our brain needs just 4 second to judge the persons around us. It's not bad, it's just human. So my best advice, if you still hesitating, pull that top 10 criteria list for LTR and just decide.
Last edited by Alex K.; 03-09-2019 at 01:10 AM..
Reason: typo
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