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I've been exclusively dating this girl for about 3 months now, we originally met off Tinder. We both have great sex, a lot of fun conversation and we try to go on multiple dates per week. I've basically have borderline fell in love with her over the past month, especially when she went on a 2 week vacation. We both messaged each other every day telling each other how much we were missing each other.
I recently got into an argument with her though, which I may have started because I slightly annoyed her. She stated that she likes me a lot and thinks I'm super sweet, but that I can be immature/annoying at times and she doesn't see me as a future mate in the long term. She basically said it takes her a long time to fall in love and she wants to see where it goes. We both talked for a couple more hours. I even brought up some options as in making it an open relationship, and she said "no" because she's too emotionally connected to this. I'm a bit wary of her at this point. I just think due to lack of relationship experience, she doesn't know how to truly be direct and tell me what she really wants. I'll admit the last time we hung out, we both didn't want to leave each other's arms and think about the work week.
I didn't think much of what she said at face value initially, but over the past few days I've been really hurt and I have this weird feeling that she's just stringing me along a path to where I may get really hurt. I'm paranoid to the point where she may just be stringing me along for the great sex or I might just be paranoid.
We also had this discussion back in late November and she said she wanted to be FWB's but wasn't sure, because she had feelings too, as well as I. Back then, she basically said the same thing "I want to see where things go." I'm sadly at the point where I may want to date other people, because I'm slowly starting to realize she might not be for me, and it really ****ing hurts.
We even planned a vacation in a few weeks and we may go on another vacation at the end of the year, but at the same time I'm just not so sure. I think I may have to let her go and start all over, maybe I'll just go for woman in their late 20's/early 30's, basically my age range.
What do you all think I should do? Should I just end this or try to continue it?
Note: Her ex did tell her that he loved her 1 1/2 month in and then dumped her 2 1/2 months later, so this might play into effect. She also recently messaged me saying she's lucky to find a good guy, since it's rare.
She's too emotionally connected, in order to have it be an open relationship, but not emotionally connected enough, to see it as a long-term thing?
I think, that since you seem to be the more emotionally-invested one at this stage, that you need to talk about it with her again, and 1) ask her to clarify what could be construed as a contradiction (above), and 2) tell her, that if she doesn't see you two as a long-term thing, you need to move on, before you get too invested, because you're already falling for her. See what she says. At this point, you have nothing to lose, all things considered.
I mean, what does any of it mean, the "annoying" part, etc., if she's telling you she finds you to be a rare, good guy? WTH?!
She doesn’t sound like a forgiving individual. I mean you are not perfect but it appears that is what she is looking for.
Ask any person in a relationship and they can point out something annoying their partner does. It’s gunna happen and if she is not mature enough to accept little flaws then move on.
She doesn’t sound like a forgiving individual. I mean you are not perfect but it appears that is what she is looking for.
Ask any person in a relationship and they can point out something annoying their partner does. It’s gunna happen and if she is not mature enough to accept little flaws then move on.
I don't know....
If it's bubble gum popping, then that's a pretty severe flaw....
When a woman says you're immature and annoying at times, you are immature and annoying. So first off, work on that, regardless of what else happens.
As for the relationship, she's telling you she wants to take it slow. Take her at her word and stop psychoanalyzing it. She cares but hasn't fallen in love and wants to give it more time. Chill.
When a woman says you're immature and annoying at times, you are immature and annoying. So first off, work on that, regardless of what else happens.
As for the relationship, she's telling you she wants to take it slow. Take her at her word and stop psychoanalyzing it. She cares but hasn't fallen in love and wants to give it more time. Chill.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skaternum
When a woman says you're immature and annoying at times, you are immature and annoying. So first off, work on that, regardless of what else happens.
As for the relationship, she's telling you she wants to take it slow. Take her at her word and stop psychoanalyzing it. She cares but hasn't fallen in love and wants to give it more time. Chill.
I've been exclusively dating this girl for about 3 months now, we originally met off Tinder. We both have great sex, a lot of fun conversation and we try to go on multiple dates per week. I've basically have borderline fell in love with her over the past month, especially when she went on a 2 week vacation. We both messaged each other every day telling each other how much we were missing each other.
I recently got into an argument with her though, which I may have started because I slightly annoyed her. She stated that she likes me a lot and thinks I'm super sweet, but that I can be immature/annoying at times and she doesn't see me as a future mate in the long term. She basically said it takes her a long time to fall in love and she wants to see where it goes. We both talked for a couple more hours. I even brought up some options as in making it an open relationship, and she said "no" because she's too emotionally connected to this. I'm a bit wary of her at this point. I just think due to lack of relationship experience, she doesn't know how to truly be direct and tell me what she really wants. I'll admit the last time we hung out, we both didn't want to leave each other's arms and think about the work week.
I didn't think much of what she said at face value initially, but over the past few days I've been really hurt and I have this weird feeling that she's just stringing me along a path to where I may get really hurt. I'm paranoid to the point where she may just be stringing me along for the great sex or I might just be paranoid.
We also had this discussion back in late November and she said she wanted to be FWB's but wasn't sure, because she had feelings too, as well as I. Back then, she basically said the same thing "I want to see where things go." I'm sadly at the point where I may want to date other people, because I'm slowly starting to realize she might not be for me, and it really ****ing hurts.
We even planned a vacation in a few weeks and we may go on another vacation at the end of the year, but at the same time I'm just not so sure. I think I may have to let her go and start all over, maybe I'll just go for woman in their late 20's/early 30's, basically my age range.
What do you all think I should do? Should I just end this or try to continue it?
Note: Her ex did tell her that he loved her 1 1/2 month in and then dumped her 2 1/2 months later, so this might play into effect. She also recently messaged me saying she's lucky to find a good guy, since it's rare.
Yep. You need to gain maturity. She's giving you buy signals.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with just seeing where it goes. It means she's open to a relationship. And if she's planning vacations with you, then that means something. At the same time, it's not a race. It's not a video game where you need to reach the next level. It's not an endless series of summit meetings.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, by the way. If you are incapable of trusting, then you are incapable of being in one. Whether you are involved with this woman or any other, if you can't muster the courage after several months to say, "Oh, screw it. I'm all in with you, and to hell with the consequences," then you are undeserving of someone else's love. As in, sometimes you just have to put yourself out there.
She already said she doesnt see you as a long term mate. If you are looking for a solid relationship, I dont think this girl is it. You are going to feel she always has one foot in the door. At this stage, I wouldnt be calling this a committed relationship, just dating, and in that sphere, you probably need to open up your options. She told you she doesnt see you long term..believe what she says.
I also have doubts when people tell you whats wrong with you. You either accept people for who they are, or you dont. Theres not a one of us who is perfect, her included. Id tell you that you've enjoyed your time with her, but you feel like you want to date others. She may make the choice for you.
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