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Very true. I've always mentally connected better with people that have uprooted themselves and started over a few times as independent adults. Taking it a step further from living on one's own, but the experience of picking oneself up and relocating to a place without a support system and building a live and social system from scratch and knowing you can do it again does wonders.
You've just described my recent move from Jersey to Montana
I don't have anyone here, don't know anyone. Hell, I didn't even have job lined up. I fit as much as I could into a small Uhaul trailer , discarded the rest (a lot, btw) and just went. Very liberating experience
Of course, as I am from Europe, it doesn't matter which state I go to, as my family is not in U.S.
It's a great experience, being able to start from scratch on a moment's notice. I am very careful in not buying more junk into home, so that I can fit my sh*t to the uhaul trailer any time.
It's very different if you know you can't just drive to your parents house, as it's across Atlantic.
Not that I would, being stubborn and proud MF
Last edited by TenderFrost; 01-28-2019 at 01:10 PM..
Reason: typos
IDK, I think for a woman it can make some sense. Here this person isn't some pot smoking lay about without a job. She's a school teacher.
if her and old mom are living together it could be a mutually beneficial thing.
Note, could be, without knowing the person in real life I say this.
Oh, for sure. That’s why I said it would give me pause, not scare me off all together. I’d need more information to see if there was more than “I don’t want to live alone so i have to live with my mom”.
These things have to be taken on a case by case basis.
Maybe she had a lot of debt from school or medical reasons and she's living there to become debt free faster.
Maybe her and her family are very traditional and women don't move out till marriage. A lot of my friends lived at home till marriage
Maybe she fears living alone in the part of town she can afford.
Maybe her MOM fears living alone.
Maybe she wants/hopes/plans to get married in the near future and doesn't want to invest in a house just to possibly have to sell it.
I guess I'm weird, I'd rather live with my mom than a random roommate. I do prefer living alone, though
She's over 40!!! The only valid excuse here is if the kid is taking care of a dying parent. All of your reasons are just lame excuses.
Imagine you take such partner to a vacation in a foreign country (not talking about Europe, just Latin Am)
If you wanted to do some short day trip,a!one, she'd have zero skills to entertain herself temporarily on her own. For the first time, completely alone. She would probably stay at the hotel whole time
Of course, the moment any issues in the relationship manifest, she'd just pack up and go back crying to Mommy, as that is the extent of her Life Experience.
Thanks, but No Thanks
I'm sure however, there's a highly insecure, dependent, Mommy Boy who could relate to her, ehm, issues
Correction, it's a preparatory school. Christian-based. I guess that's a flavor of private school? Parents pay the big bucks to put their kids in school, so a teacher in these schools as opposed to public schools are the better option.
On the contrary. There's a Catholic prep in my area that charges higher tuition than the local state university. However, its teachers are paid less than local public school teachers (who themselves don't make a killing). I've never been sure how that works, either. I think a lot of the tuition money goes right to the diocese.
Oh, for sure. That’s why I said it would give me pause, not scare me off all together. I’d need more information to see if there was more than “I don’t want to live alone so i have to live with my mom”.
How could you possibly trust anything she says at this point?
You would need to experience the interactions between the females. At which point your emotional investment would probably override your cognitive reasoning.
Now, I hate loneliness as much as the next guy, but boy, does the idea of dying alone seem exciting in this here scenario
Half of my family comes from a culture where all children are expected to stay at home until married. The bad side to them wouldn't be that she was at home, but rather she had passed her early 30s and was alone. It seems to me that socially for them better to be a single mother and living at home than what translates into an old maid with her own place.
So either case her age, presumably without an ex that she moved away from to return home. Or never leaving home are flags the different wings of the family sees.
She's over 40!!! The only valid excuse here is if the kid is taking care of a dying parent. All of your reasons are just lame excuses.
Imagine you take such partner to a vacation in a foreign country (not talking about Europe, just Latin Am)
If you wanted to do some short day trip,a!one, she'd have zero skills to entertain herself temporarily on her own. For the first time, completely alone. She would probably stay at the hotel whole time
Of course, the moment any issues in the relationship manifest, she'd just pack up and go back crying to Mommy, as that is the extent of her Life Experience.
Thanks, but No Thanks
I'm sure however, there's a highly insecure, dependent, Mommy Boy who could relate to her, ehm, issues
That's your opinion, but you don't know her or her life. I try not to judge others without knowing their story. What seem like lame excuses to you, may be valid to others. Would it be different if she lived with a roommate/friend, but still had never lived alone? Not everybody can afford to live alone, end of story. Maybe she can't afford it and is too embarrassed to say, who knows.
The good thing is, you aren't dating her, so it doesn't matter.
That's your opinion, but you don't know her or her life. I try not to judge others without knowing their story. What seem like lame excuses to you, may be valid to others. Would it be different if she lived with a roommate/friend, but still had never lived alone? Not everybody can afford to live alone, end of story. Maybe she can't afford it and is too embarrassed to say, who knows.
Of course it would be different! Showing you can live with a complete stranger shows you are capable of exerting uncomfortable effort to reach reasonable compromise. But a forever home (irrelevant if they moved to a different physical house) from when you were a kid ? If she never broke that bond (and it is a painful bond to break), she'd be like an Alien in this world. I could not, possibly, remotely, begin to respect her.
It's a profound WTF on so many levels. Worst of all, you can't even explain it to her, as she's literally living in a different galaxy, unaware of the multidimensional nature of the string vibrations governing the life in the universe out here.
Of course, it doesn't mean you can't fall for such person, heart wants what it wants, irrespective of the insanity your brain is actively trying to warn you about. And I'm a posterchild for such insanity, but at least the insane person I fell for, she's living on her own, doesn't have anyone in this country and is completely content on making it alone without any umbilical cord still attached to her parents or siblings (who are, very much alive).
Then again, there's 7 billion people out there, plenty depressed, miserable, lonely and desperate, so statistically speaking, there's gotta be a match for any deviation, even such unfathomable as this one
Some women are really close with their mothers, so it can be like a roommate/friend situation more than a parent/child one.
The bigger issue is probably more codependency than proximity. One of my coworkers is one from one of those families where everyone lives within a half mile of each other in the same part of town, and has for generations. She's single and doesn't live with her parents, but her day-to-day life is completely enmeshed with her family. Anyone dating her has to be party to that.
Yeah, I wouldn't be with a woman that was totally attached at the hip with her family. I get visiting family and spending time with them but for me it shouldn't be all encompassing.
I remember a thread here a while back where some woman was complaining about a guy always having to talk to and consult with his family on too many things and him spending time on the phone with his family everyday, at least something along those lines as it was a little while ago.
Sometimes is fine, but again, when your married or in a LTR your spouse or your SO should be your first immediate concern. In my humble opinion.
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