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He talks to the bishop about a girl he met 3 times?
Gurl....c'mon now. Haven't you been through BS?
This guy may be sincere; we know nothing about his appearance or personality. He may have a hard time due to his looks/personality/both, getting dates. Maybe her vulnerability/simplicity/childlike-ness gave him confidence to approach.
If this is the case he'll probably be so grateful to have a new wife he'll treat her well.
Way better for the OP than a slick player with many on the string or a perverted manipulator like "Paris" guy.
This statement has me really shaking my head. People die all the time, even your mothers and fathers. Is there something in particular that makes you even suspect that "the circumstances of her death may be suspicious"? If there isn't, it's an awfully odd conclusion for you to have come to.
I didn't say I suspected anything, and the conclusion that I formed is that belle never suspects anything. Ever. No matter how many red flags are flashing in front of her.
I can't imagine the drama of raising kids that are not your own. In fact the biggest reason many married with children folks have issues is due to their differing beliefs in how to raise their own kids.
Next insert both grannies (his mother and the ex-wife's mother) and grandpas. Yep sounds like a lot of fun.
I think your best bet is to work on yourself esteem and life wounds. You will never find yourself in a good relationship until you yourself are emotionally healthy and wholesome.
he was caring for the kids and one of his sisters was living here with him. she had come to stay when his wife was sick and she just continued to stay since he worked a full time job.
Hes renting a house next to his parents, like down the street. Hes in the city but has a nearby community that his whole family is in.
No... not looking for a way out. Im still in school and Im still working. This just happened to happen. I didnt go looking for it
Belle, thank you for answering my questions.
I suspected that a family member was caring for his children. Was she paid for her services or was this free for him? As I said, daycare for two young children is very expensive.
Who will care for his children in Utah - another family member? Definitely find out that information.
I just can’t shake the feeling this situation is moving way too fast and that seems suspicious, especially since he seems dependent on family taking care of his kids (for free?).
You have just started school and are preparing for a better future for yourself. Now you are contemplating a life with a man and family you don’t even know. You have no educational skills to fall back on. On top of that, you would change your religious beliefs for someone else’s reasons, not your own.
If you decide to explore this situation, discuss moving to Utah after this semester (or later) into your own apartment, get a job and go to school part-time as you are now for at least one year. No free childcare offered for his children. Get to know him and his family over time. Under those conditions, I would bet he will lose interest in you as he seems to want an immediate solution. There would be your answer.
Huge red flashing lights. I only wish the best for you so be very, very careful.
Well, I would bet there are many men closer to you in better situations that would like you as well but if you don't put in the effort to get yourself out there, a man isn't just going to appear on your doorstep.
In Raleigh, it would be really hard for her to attract that kind of guy. She’s just another small town Carolina girl with a High School education and a service sector job struggling to get by. So far, she’s attracted a string of predators. In Salt Lake City, she’s exotic. I think she should pursue it. It may be the best opportunity that’s ever presented to her. With the Mormon mindset, she’d have 3 or 4 of her own children in addition to the two step kids. She’s said many times that it’s what she wants in life.
In Raleigh, it would be really hard for her to attract that kind of guy. She’s just another small town Carolina girl with a High School education and a service sector job struggling to get by. So far, she’s attracted a string of predators. In Salt Lake City, she’s exotic. I think she should pursue it. It may be the best opportunity that’s ever presented to her. With the Mormon mindset, she’d have 3 or 4 of her own children in addition to the two step kids. She’s said many times that it’s what she wants in life.
That's all well & good but she should date the guy first then for a substantial amount of time and not rush into marriage … I mean, don't you agree?
That's all well & good but she should date the guy first then for a substantial amount of time and not rush into marriage … I mean, don't you agree?
Sure. But in this thread, either the guy is an axe murderer or he’s dragging her into a cult. She should accept the airline tickets to Salt Lake and spend time with the guy. The first time in a hotel if that makes everyone comfortable. Concurrently, she should learn about LDS and what living in that community would be all about. Sleep with the guy when the time is right but use birth control.
Yes it would be a mutual thing but I want to take care of him. I look at his situation and feel bad and I want to help. I just keep thinking about him. And them. I know it's not the right way to go about getting in a relationship. I'm not saing its going to happen, but I know what its like to feel alone.
He's not alone. He has his family and Mormon community. You are the one who's alone...not him.
Why do you want to take care of him when you are struggling to take care of yourself? Why won't you put yourself first?
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods
I could love his kids like my own. I know I could.
You have no way of knowing this...this is simply a preconceived notion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods
Really, we are just talking about it but I obviously don't want to move too fast. I have stuff going on in my life too, not just him.
Never move too fast in any type of relationship especially when you have unresolved personal issues (family pain, past lover's pain, low self esteem pain).
I wish you the best and I know you say you need help but what exactly do you need help with?
Are you doing well in school? Do you still want to become an attorney? If not what else could you see yourself doing as a career?
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