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Yes, but online dating is different, because here age is a clear indicator about how attractive somebody is - besides the photoshopped picture of course. If you lie on online dating people will probably expect somebody more attractive.
Its completely different from real life, where you know appearance and behaviour from beginning.
Apples and oranges, ymissed the point as I was referring to being insecure as far as revealing one's age. In both cases, the online dating thing is moot...in both cases, you and this woman were simply insecure in revealing your ages. That's the point that's in common.
TBH, I can understand what he's getting at. So I can see where he's coming from, but not that I condone it. I know of some older, more active and attractive women, but in their mid-40s and beyond that had complained that most men THEIR age tend to be couch potatoes and unmotivated to get out of the house.
I knew of this one woman that used to date a construction worker that wouldn't leave his couch and watch football games all weekend. She couldn't even get him to take a casual bike ride together. She was athletic, but he had a gut on him. Drink beer and watch the game.
So anyways, she just happened to date men about at the most 10 years younger than herself, because they were aligned by being active. She felt men her age lacked energy.
Like I said, there is nothing wrong with dating people who are more active (I am 42 and would not want to date a couch potato), but there are plenty of venues to find people who are not couch potatoes who are not 22. That is my point. I remember joining one Meetup group for people 35-50 and I just felt the vibe was really old. I ended up leaving after a few meetups. I was in meetups where the bulk of people were 50+ even though I was like 36 at the time and felt like they were more fun and youthful than the 35-50 group.
I ended up leaving after a few meetups. I was in meetups where the bulk of people were 50+ even though I was like 36 at the time and felt like they were more fun and youthful than the 35-50 group.
No, I did not date any of them... but it was just to point out that there can be a variety of levels of “fun” within a given age group. The OP doesn’t even want to give his own age group (or an age group near him) a chance because he has already concluded they aren’t hot enough or fun enough.
OP, no one is saying that you have to go for people who look or behave older, or that you have to restrict yourself to women 35+. The problem that we are having is that you appear to be restricting yourself to activities where a full half of women are still in high school. There is a big range of available women between 22-35 who you can date who are still fun. Quite frankly, I am not sure what high school (or even college) students do that are so much fun. Most have barely any money and they are limited in what they can do. If you get to older folks who actually have careers, there are lots more options in terms of activities you can do.
I just turned 30 and I haven’t been interested in dating college students for most of the last decade... at this point I see them as boring kids.
The OP needs to see a therapist and address his age issues regarding himself.
Twenty year olds are still young and naive, but they know they’d be wasting their time with a 40 year old. If it does work out, they’ll be changing his diaper when they’re still in prime years of their lives. If I was a parent of a twenty year old, I wouldn’t approve. 1) They’re better off with someone closer their age. 2) I know guys that are attracted to super younger than them women, and it’s usually a mental complex they’ve got going.
I’m sure there’s plenty of women in their 30s who are still active and have good bodies. I found a 30 year old with the body of a 20 year old but is way cooler than any 20 year old.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordSquidworth
I just turned 30 and I haven’t been interested in dating college students for most of the last decade... at this point I see them as boring kids.
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College kids are kids, and really do look like children. I literally can't really tell what is 15 and what is 22 anymore. They all just look like the kids they are.
It's so strange to me folks are saying the OP is wrong -for varying reasons- to try to have relationships with 20something gals.
I warrant if the OP were female, and saying how she has a 20 y/o BF, folks would be applauding and backslapping and attagirl-ing. Older gals with young guys seem to be lauded, I don't get why. I personally find that MORE gross than the reverse. Just MY feeling on it, not saying it should be everyone's view.
If the OP is attracted to younger gals where is the harm? That he didn't push the gal he dated for a month, for sex, says to me he isn't just some slick playa/ PUA ass.
I def acknowledge the "delusional old guy in a TapOut shirt, spray tan and tight jeans" reality; I haven't been to clubs since the 90s (was in my early 30s then) but they exist and are often the object of ridicule.
I'ts def possible our OP IS "that guy" to many who see him at the dances he attends.
I also acknowledge that OP's major issue with his own age is a tad delusional and a bit pathological.
BUT simply wanting to date 20-ish gals is not wrong in any way I can see; some of you guys are acting like he's a pedo. Cmon now.
It's so strange to me folks are saying the OP is wrong -for varying reasons- to try to have relationships with 20something gals.
I warrant if the OP were female, and saying how she has a 20 y/o BF, folks would be applauding and backslapping and attagirl-ing. Older gals with young guys seem to be lauded, I don't get why. I personally find that MORE gross than the reverse. Just MY feeling on it, not saying it should be everyone's view.
If the OP is attracted to younger gals where is the harm? That he didn't push the gal he dated for a month, for sex, says to me he isn't just some slick playa/ PUA ass.
I def acknowledge the "delusional old guy in a TapOut shirt, spray tan and tight jeans" reality; I haven't been to clubs since the 90s (was in my early 30s then) but they exist and are often the object of ridicule.
I'ts def possible our OP IS "that guy" to many who see him at the dances he attends.
I also acknowledge that OP's major issue with his own age is a tad delusional and a bit pathological.
BUT simply wanting to date 20-ish gals is not wrong in any way I can see; some of you guys are acting like he's a pedo. Cmon now.
There’s a big difference between 20 years old and 28 years old.
It's so strange to me folks are saying the OP is wrong -for varying reasons- to try to have relationships with 20something gals.
I warrant if the OP were female, and saying how she has a 20 y/o BF, folks would be applauding and backslapping and attagirl-ing. Older gals with young guys seem to be lauded, I don't get why. I personally find that MORE gross than the reverse. Just MY feeling on it, not saying it should be everyone's view.
If the OP is attracted to younger gals where is the harm? That he didn't push the gal he dated for a month, for sex, says to me he isn't just some slick playa/ PUA ass.
I def acknowledge the "delusional old guy in a TapOut shirt, spray tan and tight jeans" reality; I haven't been to clubs since the 90s (was in my early 30s then) but they exist and are often the object of ridicule.
I'ts def possible our OP IS "that guy" to many who see him at the dances he attends.
I also acknowledge that OP's major issue with his own age is a tad delusional and a bit pathological.
BUT simply wanting to date 20-ish gals is not wrong in any way I can see; some of you guys are acting like he's a pedo. Cmon now.
It's not that he wants to date younger women. It's that he's being really hypocritical about it all and deceptive. "My age is just a number" but "other people's ages are important" and their ages are so important that he feels the need to trick others and hide things. Lying and hiding things is not a good foundation for any relationship--it's predatory. Being upset that people are calling you out on your deception is just eye rolling.
If he was just upfront about it all with the women he's trying to date he wouldn't have this issue, wouldn't be posting here, and no one here would care.
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