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Me, I like things uncluttered, kind of organized, and spare.
He likes to save things--mostly electronic things, household repair items, and old paper records. Not so bad, except most household repair items are saved in the plastic bags they came in, so he forgets--or cannot locate-- what he has as it's scattered in closets, office floor and shed. So he often goes and buys a duplicate item.
Offers to help organize get ignored or postponed...
Love the guy, but it's starting to become troublesome... his office floor and closet look like a hardware store-- as does the shed-- but little can be located when needed.
He won't change without a strong desire to do so and probably some professional help. So you either need to decide you can live with it and accept how he is or move on.
Just restrict the stuff to "his" room, and keep the door closed.
It could work, but I would worry that it will expand to other areas like cabinets, closets, attic/basement/garage.
If he doesn't keep up with what he has and keep buying duplicate, there could be a spending issues in the future.
What does he do with all that? Try to repair and use/resale? Keep parts for possible future use?
Hoarders don't change. You need to make a choice: accept it or leave.
Me, I like things uncluttered, kind of organized, and spare.
He likes to save things--mostly electronic things, household repair items, and old paper records. Not so bad, except most household repair items are saved in the plastic bags they came in, so he forgets--or cannot locate-- what he has as it's scattered in closets, office floor and shed. So he often goes and buys a duplicate item.
Offers to help organize get ignored or postponed...
Love the guy, but it's starting to become troublesome... his office floor and closet look like a hardware store-- as does the shed-- but little can be located when needed.
Have you faced this? Any advice?
Can a leopard change its spots? Should I give up?
Radical thought: just go in, and organize it for him, sometime when he's away. He never said "no", after all; just ignored your offer, possibly finding the task, even if only helping you, overwhelming.
So, buy various small to medium cabinet thingies with drawers. They make a small (easily-portable) metal one with plastic drawers of a size to hold screws and nails of different sizes, for example. Find a bigger one with drawers big enough to hold items the size of electrical sockets and such. Maybe you could find something like an old library card-catalogue bin with drawers the size of the 3x5 card libraries used to use. That sort of thing. And just do it; spend an afternoon organizing, while he's out puttering around the hardware stores, or going bowling (whatever). Enlist the help of a male relative, if need be. Maybe there's a teenager in the extended family you could hire for a couple of hours, to help you sort items.
Who knows? He might thank you. At the very least, he'll be momentarily speechless. Get jiggy with it, if organizing's your thing! Label the drawers. Or have a carpenter build something against one wall in the garage or shed. Maybe Lowes/Home Depot has something that would work.
It's the only way this will get dealt with. Good luck! Report back.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-12-2019 at 01:52 PM..
Radical thought: just go in, and organize it for him, sometime when he's away. He never said "no", after all; just ignored your offer, possibly finding the task, even if only helping you, overwhelming. So, buy various small to medium cabinet thingies with drawers. They make a small metal one with plastic drawers of a size to hold screws and nails of different sizes, for example. Find a bigger one with drawers big enough to hold items the size of electrical sockets and such. Maybe you could find something like an old library card-catalogue bin with drawers the size of the 3x5 card libraries used to use. That sort of thing. And just do it; spend an afternoon organizing, while he's out puttering around the hardware stores, or going bowling (whatever).
Who knows? He might thank you. At the very least, he'll be momentarily speechless. Get jiggy with it, if organizing's your thing! Label the drawers. Or have a carpenter build something against one wall in the garage or shed.
It's the only way this will get dealt with. Good luck! Report back.
And then after you organize it and he accepts it, the next time hes not around start taking a few things and throwing them out. He'll just think he forgot where he put them. He might just buy it again, but you'll at least keep the garbage to one level as opposed to him piling onto what he already has.
Radical thought: just go in, and organize it for him, sometime when he's away. He never said "no", after all; just ignored your offer, possibly finding the task, even if only helping you, overwhelming. So, buy various small to medium cabinet thingies with drawers. They make a small metal one with plastic drawers of a size to hold screws and nails of different sizes, for example. Find a bigger one with drawers big enough to hold items the size of electrical sockets and such. Maybe you could find something like an old library card-catalogue bin with drawers the size of the 3x5 card libraries used to use. That sort of thing. And just do it; spend an afternoon organizing, while he's out puttering around the hardware stores, or going bowling (whatever).
Who knows? He might thank you. At the very least, he'll be momentarily speechless. Get jiggy with it, if organizing's your thing! Label the drawers. Or have a carpenter build something against one wall in the garage or shed.
It's the only way this will get dealt with. Good luck! Report back.
If he is truly a hoarder (and probably even if he isn't), that won't work and will make things worse. I think if she goes in and organizes his stuff there will be a big blow up and everything will go back to the way he had them in a short while.
I absolutely wouldn't recommend going behind his back. He needs to be part of the organization process for it to stick.
If he is truly a hoarder (and probably even if he isn't), that won't work and will make things worse. I think if she goes in and organizes his stuff there will be a big blow up and everything will go back to the way he had them in a short while.
I absolutely wouldn't recommend going behind his back. He needs to be part of the organization process for it to stick.
Hmmm....
Well, she could still buy the containers for different-sized stuff, and present him with those, one weekend, and say "Come on, honey, let's tackle this together. It'll be fun!"
No?
OK, Plan B: get him to a shrink, or start with your primary-care doc, for medication for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I hear it can work wonders for some people.
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Get jiggy with it, if organizing's your thing! Label the drawers. Or have a carpenter build something against one wall in the garage or shed. Maybe Lowes/Home Depot has something that would work.
