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Thanks for the replies, certainly some good insight.
I have no problem standing up for myself, it generally takes a lot for me to get upset/angry with someone. If someone you are with has a petpev you try not to do that thing. I generally am pretty accommodating, but like anyone you get to that point where you have had enough and stand up for yourself. I did that the other night, and and I called her on it. Not in an angry tone or confrontational, but basically just called her on it.
Other than this, our relationship is good I feel. We enjoy shared common interests, hobbies etc... but we will see where this relationship might lead. Hopefully we can work through this. Waiting to hear back from her about all this.
My first thought was that she needs to learn how to share, so to speak, that everything doesn't get to go her way only. Some people have a hard time learning that a relationship involves two people, not just one, and compromise is important.
Sorry OP as I walked this path. All your "compromising" will be to appease her. Please don't waste another moment on this relationship. She is going to bring you down and wear the pants.
I recall early on trying to be the 'student'when my guy said I wasn't doing something to his liking. I figured there is more then one way to skin a cat. Then when I would mention a difference in my living habits...such as, can you close the door a bit more gently he took it as an insult.
I caught on real quick where things were headed.
So seriously if the flag is being waved...proceed with caution . I can't imagine being controlled like that then saying....but ohh gosh he is so nice otherwise. Enable much?
My first thought was that she needs to learn how to share, so to speak, that everything doesn't get to go her way only. Some people have a hard time learning that a relationship involves two people, not just one, and compromise is important.
Yes, I think is more along the lines of where she is coming from. She is very much like her mother (which isn't a bad thing) but she and her mother both "wear the pants in the family". She is very independent and organized with things just so. I have been living the bachelor's and I live more care-free, go with the flow type of lifestyle.
The "honey moon" is over and now if we/she see value in this relationship and want to make it, there is some work that needs to be done. We have to find some middle ground to work on.
The "honey moon" is over and now if we/she see value in this relationship and want to make it, there is some work that needs to be done. We have to find some middle ground to work on.
Yes, I think is more along the lines of where she is coming from. She is very much like her mother (which isn't a bad thing) but she and her mother both "wear the pants in the family". She is very independent and organized with things just so. I have been living the bachelor's and I live more care-free, go with the flow type of lifestyle.
The "honey moon" is over and now if we/she see value in this relationship and want to make it, there is some work that needs to be done. We have to find some middle ground to work on.
I really want you to understand that this kind of dynamic really isn't sustainable long term.
Your personalities are completely different, and the way you have described her is not something she really can or will change.
I have personal experience with this. She certainly may agree to adapt for a short time, but she will revert after a while, and if you have children it will become completely intolerable. In fact, there is a very strong chance that she will treat you like a child over time and lose respect for you as a man over time.
I am not trying to be an alarmist or drum up the worst case scenario here. I'm sharing what my life experience has taught me … that people who think their way is the right way do NOT make good partners, and the way you have described yourself is a red flag for a life as a doormat.
Other than this, our relationship is good I feel. We enjoy shared common interests, hobbies etc... but we will see where this relationship might lead. Hopefully we can work through this. Waiting to hear back from her about all this.
What does this mean? Didn't you have a face-to-face conversation about it? What exactly are you "waiting to hear"?
I am not quite ready to call it quits on this relationship yet, but certainly going in with my eyes open based on some of the replies in this thread. Every relationship has rough patches and this is one of them. I am going to have a little chat with her over the next couple days, hopefully we can work through this.
If this type of behavior continues this relationship is finished.
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