Am I right to think the 'other man' in this situation is not blameless? (girl)
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I didn't want to get into an extensive discussion about it which is why I messaged on WhatsApp. Or to be asked for my reasons why. I don't want to be honest and give him feedback that his affair with a married woman put me off him. I don't want him to have that feedback because I want him to keep telling this story so that future potential girlfriends can make an informed decision about his character.
Also, I don't feel I owed him a phone call or an in person meeting. I'm sorry but, I lost a bit of respect for him after he told me this story and was all "poor me" about it, AFTER us sleeping together. He has also been love bombing me, and I'm just seeing red flags all over the place here, so I'd rather restrict the contact to a message.
I didn't want to get into an extensive discussion about it which is why I messaged on WhatsApp. Or to be asked for my reasons why. I don't want to be honest and give him feedback that his affair with a married woman put me off him. I don't want him to have that feedback because I want him to keep telling this story so that future potential girlfriends can make an informed decision about his character.
IMO, that's the smartest thing that you could have done. In addition you didn't open yourself up to him trying to convince you why you should accept or overlook the behavior. You don't need someone that's too weak-willed to keep themselves out of that situation to begin with, not to mention allow it to continue for 9 months. There are other ways he could have dealt with being "attacked" in the kitchen. It's not like this was a situation where he was with a woman that lied about having a husband. If he couldn't honestly understand that this was wrong and he truly thinks he deserves sympathy, well, good riddance to bad garbage.
Yes, I'd be concerned both by the fact that he did this and that he doesn't seem to take any responsibility for it now either. I do have some sympathy for him - he fell in love and then she dropped him like a hot rock. Just because he did some very wrong things doesn't mean he wasn't hurt. She sounds like she has some serious issues and really leaves a messy trail behind her wherever she goes and I can see why he probably feels like he was a "victim" of her crazy. But he's a grown man who chose to get involved with someone that messed up and constantly sleep with someone else's wife. If he can't at least take some responsibility for that, I don't blame you for breaking up with him.
I didn't want to get into an extensive discussion about it which is why I messaged on WhatsApp. Or to be asked for my reasons why. I don't want to be honest and give him feedback that his affair with a married woman put me off him. I don't want him to have that feedback because I want him to keep telling this story so that future potential girlfriends can make an informed decision about his character.
OOOOHHH Girl you smart as hell! Gimme five!!!! You did that!
If he cheated once there's no reason he won't cheat again.
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