Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
400? Someone needs to tell that man that there is more to life than having sex. I've never had any sexual partners. I'm fine with that. I have better things to do.
I think it's a happier way to go through life. Sex complicates things.
A person CAN be defined by a high amount of partners. It shows many qualities about them.
If a person robbed a bank it would say a lot about them. How about 20 banks?
It’s not my fault that people have sex more than hand shakes now a days. I have a right to judge someone’s character by the amount of people they shack up with.
So what’s your judgement if a woman and a man slept with 50 people as a number count?
A person CAN be defined by a high amount of partners. It shows many qualities about them.
If a person robbed a bank it would say a lot about them. How about 20 banks?
It’s not my fault that people have sex more than hand shakes now a days. I have a right to judge someone’s character by the amount of people they shack up with.
Very true
I wouldn't even bother asking though. If I was attracted to the girl before she told me, it
wouldn't change anything. She's with me now.
You left out an important element. If a woman interacts, sexually and otherwise, with highly desirable men, it can be damaging to her. Namely, she'll lose the ability to emotionally bond with stable, mild-mannered men. She may still settle down with such a man, but her mind and her heart will always desire the type of man her partner is not. And that's the root cause of many unhappy marriages nowadays. Not all, or even most, but many.
So while I get that nobody marries as a virgin anymore---heck, I'm still single and I'm not a virgin---I'd be leery of a woman who had a large number of sex partners. I can see nothing but misery if I marry her.
You're so wrong, but at this point...hey, do what you're good at. I could get into the hows and whys of your wrongness but you never ever listen. I'd bet my next paycheck I know ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE more people than you do, and people have a tendency to tell me their life stories (probably they know I never judge) so I have more than my own anecdotal example to push back with. But god, at this point, it's just not even worth the time.
Your bros are full of it, and they're filling your head with BS, dude.
You recline on a very comfortable pile of steaming crap. But ya know, you could refrain from throwing it at the rest of us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
Switch this around. Men who date a lot and have sex a lot, often with highly desirable women may be damaged as well. They'll always want the hot young thing, may well cheat, and not be satisfied with their wife if she loses her figure after having children.
I guess almost everyone is damaged if you apply this judgment - or they're too inexperienced to know any better when things aren't happy in their marriage. Sounds like there's no winning combination!
I can appreciate what you're trying to do here, but this is just as incorrect as what is being said about women with high partner counts.
For one thing... As I am with an older man who had almost no relationship experience before me, he did not grow up like most people do either watching a partner age before his eyes and still finding her lovely, or dating women his own age as he went along. Nor did he have any children. These things have an effect of aging your measures of what is appealing, for most people. Like, there are men who are 18-25 that I could have sex with if I wanted to, in my social groups. Women too for that matter. I look at them and I see someone in the age group of my own sons, and I'm like "you are a very nice kid, but no." My boyfriend on the other hand...at 60, is still attracted to women in their 20's, and does not feel weird or wrong about it in the slightest. My ex, with more experience both in relationships and raising kids, might catch himself admiring the body of a skimpily clad woman walking in the neighborhood, then realize she is quite young, and he'll sort of shudder. Feel all lecherous and wrong about it, the attraction goes *poof!* when he realizes he could be her father.
So levels of experience throughout life can, I think, change a person's perspective in various ways.
Thing is though...I know that my boyfriend is attracted to younger women, but the terms of our relationship are somewhat non-standard and I don't judge him, although I do admit that sometimes I feel somewhat insecure about it. But that is a ME thing. Not a HIM thing. No man would look at a woman the way he looks at me, if he isn't attracted and in love. And I have no lack of trust for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
I find the whole notion of "counting" sexual partners kind of silly. Like, do people pull out their diaries and make an entry, afterwards?
I'm obsessed with making lists, and I have a fear of forgetting information, like names. I struggle to remember people's names, like I cannot recall a single one of my high school teachers' names. Stuff like that. Also, in the last decade or so I've become equally obsessed with Microsoft Excel (I make tons of spreadsheets for fun) so now that data lives in a spreadsheet along with lists of tons of other things. Heaps of pages of lists, goals, to do lists, things I want to buy, songs in playlists, my history of where I've worked and where I've lived and how much I've earned and on and on and on.
So yeah. I have a list. Not a diary. A spreadsheet. It also makes me happy to be able to consider how many of my male partners were virgins before me, which was a sort of hobby interest of mine in high school and one reason my "number" is somewhat high...and other factors like how many of them I had feelings for, how many developed feelings for me... I mean, it helps me to get realism on certain notions, since far more males have gotten attached to me than the other way around, for instance.
No shock, data science and analytics is a particular interest of mine, as well as what I do for a living.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you
So what’s your judgement if a woman and a man slept with 50 people as a number count?
I will await the answer on this one!
But you know, I have the reverse opinion of what most people believe. I like male virgins. I find that very experienced male partners have often come to the act with a head full of bad habits and "moves" that they figure other women enjoyed and surely I will, too. Their minds aren't open to receiving new information. And here's a question...a man says he's been with hundreds of women. Funny how we'd assume he was the one who hopped from one to the next. What if he slept with a woman who would have happily partnered with him, only he sucked in bed so much she didn't want another go. I know the men I only slept with once, a number of them were because I just had no desire to repeat the experience. Not really a glowing review if so many women did not want to hold onto him... Yet the virgin men (and boys when I was in high school) that I slept with, were so excited to be there and happy to learn and eager to please. They were more fun.
As a woman on the other hand, I can say with confidence that I am a FAR better lover now, than I was when I was relatively inexperienced. Back then I was very inhibited and there were many acts I wanted nothing to do with. I was shy about my body. And no, no man was going to teach me the wonders of this or that, I was simply REFUSING to do a lot of things. And I don't mean even super kinky stuff just...normal things. I was pretty boring about positions and acts. These days...well. That's changed, and I'm more on the side of "GGG" as Dan Savage says. So unless a guy just gets a psychological jolt out of feeling like he's corrupting or violating a relative "innocent"...I just don't think that inexperienced gals are necessarily more fun. But whatever.
Thing is, I can't even get offended or defensive about people judging women (or anyone) over partner count. As far as I'm concerned, I've never had any shortage of willing people when I'm available, and so being de-selected is kind of doing me a favor. I most definitely don't want to be with anyone who thinks less of me because of my life history, or who is so insecure that he will constantly fear being "compared" or who won't be able to trust me that I won't cheat. I don't need to deal with any of that crap, so yes, please, judge away and be vocal about it so that I can avoid ya!
I think that if you were dating someone and they asked the question, it would be a good time to have a conversation to see how they think about numbers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
... If your number is higher than expected (as a woman) you're a worthless piece of crap...and if it's too low you're a frigid whatever that's been rejected too many times - what's WRONG with you?!
If someone you are dating thinks this way, it would be good to discuss it.
Another thing to consider how was this total number of partners spread out over how many years?
If from age 18 to 25 you have had 14 partners, that could represent one partner every 6 months with an average of 4 month long relationships.
14 might sound like a lot, but if all of them were relationships that lasted a few months, that does not sound as 'bad' as one-night-stands.
... I do think it reflects on a person if they have many different intimate partners on a regular basis. To me, this shows someone that is always needy, has issues of instability, and someone that would definitely cheat on you if they had the chance and excuse to do so. In other words, not someone that you would want to be involved in a serious relationship with.[/url]
First, your statement is illogical and sexist. I've yet to meet a man that did not have a variety of sexual partners and would never thought them any of those things, yet you state that is true for women. Thus, you have gender specific prejudices and are therefore illogical. Both sexes are fairly identical in their sexual desires. It is a patriarchal view that women should not be free to explore their desires.
Second, if a person has many different intimate connections, why would you think they wanted monogamy, unless they are tired of sampling the field and now want to settle down with one partner?
If you are the one they choose after they've sampled the field of options, why wouldn't that make you feel special?
And, speaking to the times of my life where I accumulated "numbers"...
There were times where the sex just wasn't all that great. *sigh* Unfortunate. Moving on.
There were times where our desires were simply not well matched, as it transpired. *sigh* Moving on.
There were times (though somewhat few) where I fell hard and fast, and the fellow flaked or spooked off, and hurt my heart. *sigh* Moving on.
There were times where the guy got way too intense and attachy too fast and spooked ME. *sigh* Moving on.
I think that I went into every pairing hoping it would be wonderful, and we would both feel enthusiastic about continuing, and maybe even love could result, who knows? Yet the magic often just wasn't there. And that kind of living does get a little frustrating, even when one does enjoy sex and all. And then there is the fact that if you do fall in love, that "infatuation phase" or whatever you want to call it, for me it's a rollercoaster of euphoria and insecurity. Ups and downs and being wound tight like a spring for weeks or months. It's pretty exhausting! AND one cannot be unaware that there's no "safe" sex, only "safer" sex. While I don't think that relative inexperience is any guarantee, as it only takes ONE unlucky dice roll...the fact remains, I know I was rolling the dice over and over, and I wondered how long my luck would hold out, sure. So really, being in a long term, faithful, monogamous relationship is something of a relief, as compared with what seemed to happen when I was available, where I would average about 10 new partners per year (fortunately...haven't had a whole lot of years in my life of this! I've been in relationships far more years than I've been single.)
I'm in only the second long term relationship of my life, but the first one was 18 years, during which I did not have sex with anyone else. And being faithful wasn't even especially challenging! It was not a big deal, even though I wasn't that happy with the guy. I just didn't feel much sexual desire for him or anyone during most of that time. And now, I've only been with my boyfriend, since July of 2016 it's just been the two of us together, and that has not been a challenge for me either. What this proves to me, is whether my sex life sucks (and my libido dies down) or my sex life is awesome (and I want my partner all the time)...being faithful is easy.
I don't think that people cheat because they are simply promiscuous. I think that people cheat because they are cheaters. They can somehow rationalize it or something.
Well, there are plenty of things a man or woman can do than pursue sex every day. I never said they wouldn't try to pursue it. I am saying there are better things to do. 400 sex partners is basically promiscuity.
He's either lying or he needs to keep it in his pants.
Its a safe bet that if you are with a man or woman that has had lots of previous sex partners and still actively "dating", you're just their current flavor, and other flavors will come along in the future that they will want to sample.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
