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I recently told a guy in a very nice way that I am not interested. We had two dates and he was eager to set up a third one. When I told him I will not see him again, he texted back "No worries, I am glad you took the words out of my mouth. There was no chemistry or physical attraction to you so it won't hurt me. Too much of a language barrier, too, besides your choice of clothes."
I laughed hard for a bit and sent it to all my friends and we had a giggle.
LOL, people love to get the last word, don't they?
I recently told a guy in a very nice way that I am not interested. We had two dates and he was eager to set up a third one. When I told him I will not see him again, he texted back "No worries, I am glad you took the words out of my mouth. There was no chemistry or physical attraction to you so it won't hurt me. Too much of a language barrier, too, besides your choice of clothes."
I laughed hard for a bit and sent it to all my friends and we had a giggle.
I've never been angry with a woman that's rejected me, and believe me, I've been rejected by a lot.
I have however been mad at society as a whole, because I feel people emphasize the wrong things but that's a whole 'nother topic.
Edit... I want to take that back. I'm sure I have been angry at a woman that's rejected me at some point, but it wasn't rational, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie
Some of the very best advice I ever got was, if a guy dumps you, just say to yourself “It’s his loss.” That helps immensely.
I prefer to think 'We're not a match."
If somebody is not happy with you, then it's not a match. I think that if you start thinking to yourself that your partner 'lost a good thing' or 'you can do better' that's what leads to talking sh@t about that person.
But if you think more along the lines of ... "Well it just wasn't compatible", then you're less likely.
Depends on what you're looking for in a partner as well. Some people are looking more for 'the best' rather than 'the closest match'.
If somebody is not happy with you, then it's not a match. I think that if you start thinking to yourself that your partner 'lost a good thing' or 'you can do better' that's what leads to talking sh@t about that person.
But if you think more along the lines of ... "Well it just wasn't compatible", then you're less likely.
Depends on what you're looking for in a partner as well. Some people are looking more for 'the best' rather than 'the closest match'.
I was thinking more along the lines of when you are really down in the dumps and wondering “what’s wrong with me?” Just some positive self-reinforcement. Not getting to the point of arrogance. Although I do see your point.
I think a person can be frustrated, angry, hurt, disappointed, plus a million other emotions without name-calling.
I don't have a problem with being angry over a breakup - especially if there has been no effort on the part of the other person to check out the "problem". Obviously if it's only been a couple months, who cares - but a longer term relationship deserves more consideration and to discard the relationship and the person with little care or notice SHOULD provoke anger. Otherwise I guess you should have broken up long ago out of boredom!
But unilateral breakups make closure more difficult and I have learned you have to make your own closure. Anger can be justified and a part of that closure process - name-calling is a silly and superficial part that is unnecessary. I'd rather be angry for awhile than endlessly approaching them for explanations that won't really explain anything or make you feel better anyway.
Wow! 56 years on this earth. And only twice did I walk away from a unhealthy relationship. Neither guy really cared anyways. So I cannot say it was rough being the dumper.
But man ohh man....been blindsided many a time or simply was given the ...go!! Just go!!!.
My natural reaction is anger...hurt...cry...beg..then wise up!!
If though you wish to be the resilient type and say gosh it doesn't bother me. I doubt I can deal with your style. How insensitive and out of touch to come off flippant about a valued relationship ending.
So be it. I got the anger and tears down pretty good...
I think a person can be frustrated, angry, hurt, disappointed, plus a million other emotions without name-calling.
Yes, of course.
Likewise, one can be hurt, devastated, angry, all the things...and not lapse into begging behavior.
I remember when I had the plug pulled on a very serious relationship, years of cohabiting, etc., and it was highly blindsiding, rug jerked out, etc...as in, one week, we were planning a vacation and getting ready to be involved in a famiy member's wedding, the next week, I was essentially homeless.
When it happened, my primary emotion was obviously shock...gut punch and can't get your breath type shock, heart pounding out of your chest level shock. When that cleared, it was immediately replaced by a flood of being utterly disgusted with and by my ex. And what was interesting was that my ex's dad, who was coaching him through the breakup, had been telling him how to prep for when I inevitably begged, how to be strong, not cave, etc., but to expect that there would be a lot of begging. I had to laugh. Nothing could have been further from the truth. There was betrayal of trust involved, and it was literally like the flipping of a switch. Dead to me. Boom.
Breakups can never be nice at all, it doesn't matter what the reason was or why it happened, the decision was that it had to end. But it happens all the time. And there must be the reason, even if your first reaction is to burn this all (and this human being that decided to break up).
My first reaction would be anger, then - annoyance and feeling mistreated. So, in general, I'd be pretty upset.
I would be devastated and totally heartbroken. If you invest in so much over time and to have him or her turn on you is a travesty. I would be angry and distrust anyone for a long time.
If somebody is not happy with you, then it's not a match.
Which, for some, is going to beg the question of, "But...we WERE a match...so what happened that we're not anymore?" Because, of course, we're talking about the demise of an actual relationship, versus a pitch at getting together that never quite materialized, or something. So, apparently at some point, the implication is that a match was, indeed, made. But something happened that changed that. Which is something that has the potential to bring up a lot of different emotions.
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