My exhusband's wife just sent me a friend request on FB (spouses, social)
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Do you know that a Lion will kill cubs of another Lion once it engages in relations with the Lioness? That's because those cubs aren't HIS.
Of course people are going to be territorial and combative about their children. That is our natural biological make-up.
they aren't lions.
There are PLENTY PLENTY PLENTY of step parents doing a damn fine job of stepping up and parenting or co-parenting.
I got a Facebook friend request from my husband's ex wife once. I ignored it. She and my husband had been divorced for many years, their child was grown with kids of his own. I think the only reason she wanted to be facebook friends was so she could surreptitiously see what was going on with 2 or her grandkids.
The granddaughters used to live with her, but she basically drove them away, and wants nothing to do with her. (She's not a nice lady.) And now she has 2 great grandkids...one of them, she's only seen once, and the other, she's never seen.
I think she was hoping I'd be some kind of middle man. Nope...not my monkey, and not my circus.
In moments like these you just need to stop and remember It’s facebook...it’s stupid trivial nonsense.
Ignore the request if you thinks it’s going to cause a load of silly drama in your life, You’re not obligated.
It doesn't matter if the FB request feels awkward. That gives you an opportunity to talk to her in-person about it and that you don't feel comfortable about accepting the request if you want. The feeling that you have to ask that might feel awkward, but the context of the situation lend itself to the mentioning of this situation itself being practical and appropriate. You acknowledge her efforts and you express your feelings on it.
LOL I've been friends on social media with my Ex's 2nd (ex) wife for years and years. After he and I split up and divorced, I thought about reaching out to her, she warned me about him when he and I first got together, but did I listen? Nooo... 18, thought I knew everything. I've wanted to tell her she was right and I kinda wish I'd listened to her. Except for my sons, love my sons, but generally though...yeah.
But I occasionally comment on her posts and she never responds to me, so I feel like she doesn't necessarily want to interact, and I'm respecting that and not trying to engage with her. She's in a much happier relationship now, has a child, she's in a good place and I'm happy for her. Can't help but feel slightly like there should be a sort of ex-wives-club but meh...probably not a great idea. Seems a little...I dunno...catty? *shrug* Whatever.
From the OP the ex doesn't seem to be looking to start any drama, and she is the children's stepmother so if they are both already cordial with each other, what harm could accepting the friend request do? You still don't have to best friends, or anything.
Last edited by PardonTheInterruption; 06-27-2019 at 11:05 AM..
If you are on good terms and are co-parenting the kids, I see no harm in accepting a FB friend request. It could improve communication, at least for a while... apparently FB is on its way out anyway.
It's a great medium for sharing photos with each other of the kids, camping, cooking out, at a festival or just goofing off. I'd say go ahead and accept her request. You can always painlessly unfriend or limit her access down the road if it was the wrong move.
There are PLENTY PLENTY PLENTY of step parents doing a damn fine job of stepping up and parenting or co-parenting.
I got a Facebook friend request from my husband's ex wife once. I ignored it. She and my husband had been divorced for many years, their child was grown with kids of his own. I think the only reason she wanted to be facebook friends was so she could surreptitiously see what was going on with 2 or her grandkids.
The granddaughters used to live with her, but she basically drove them away, and wants nothing to do with her. (She's not a nice lady.) And now she has 2 great grandkids...one of them, she's only seen once, and the other, she's never seen.
I think she was hoping I'd be some kind of middle man. Nope...not my monkey, and not my circus.
Obviously they aren't lions. But humans are essentially animals.
That's great that some people want to parent other people's kids. I'm not saying
that it's a bad thing. I wouldn't do it, but I commend other that do it.
It's a great medium for sharing photos with each other of the kids, camping, cooking out, at a festival or just goofing off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
In moments like these you just need to stop and remember It’s facebook...it’s stupid trivial nonsense.
People have different types of relationships with exes and new spouses. People use social media in different ways. It's not always stupid, trivial nonsense. Sometimes people share things on social media with which they need support.
Sometimes you just want to keep your exes and their new people on a need-to-know basis.
The OP had a weird feeling about this request, and she's wise to think it over very carefully.
LOL I've been friends on social media with my Ex's 2nd (ex) wife for years and years. After he and I split up and divorced, I thought about reaching out to her, she warned me about him when he and I first got together, but did I listen? Nooo... 18, thought I knew everything. I've wanted to tell her she was right and I kinda wish I'd listened to her. Except for my sons, love my sons, but generally though...yeah.
But I occasionally comment on her posts and she never responds to me, so I feel like she doesn't necessarily want to interact, and I'm respecting that and not trying to engage with her. She's in a much happier relationship now, has a child, she's in a good place and I'm happy for her. Can't help but feel slightly like there should be a sort of ex-wives-club but meh...probably not a great idea. Seems a little...I dunno...catty? *shrug* Whatever.
"YEA! Let's get together and celebrate how we all chose the wrong guy!!!! YEA!"
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I was straining to keep it back
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