Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-20-2019, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
4,043 posts, read 2,715,714 times
Reputation: 8479

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
I know I need to break up with him but I'm stuck, I broke up with him once before and 3 months later we were back together.

I've never been like this before, when things aren't working I'm usually able to see that and walk away for both our sake. I just don't know how to free myself from this one. It's like my brain has been taken hostage and I panic at the very thought of leaving him ...
That feeling will pass once you are able to get away from him and take a breath. Right now, you are so caught up in your feelings of insecurity and rejection that you are unable to focus on what will be healthier for you.

Sounds like the bad outweighs the good here OP. Be kind to yourself and make a good decision.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-20-2019, 04:28 PM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,352,980 times
Reputation: 12295
This thread has seemed more enabling than edifying since about the third page
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2019, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 60,008,529 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
This thread has seemed more enabling than edifying since about the third page
Yes, especially since being unable/unwilling to see why you should break up with someone who is toxic and an addict is the definition of codependent.

Telling her that she is, by the way, isn't enabling. It's to alert her to the fact that there is something besides love going on here that is preventing her from moving forward to a healthier and happier place, something she needs to address.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2019, 08:01 AM
 
52 posts, read 24,175 times
Reputation: 61
I've decided that I'm going to end it. I just need to figure out how. I'm afraid that if I do it face-to-face he'll convince me to stay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2019, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 60,008,529 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
I've decided that I'm going to end it. I just need to figure out how. I'm afraid that if I do it face-to-face he'll convince me to stay.
You don't live together, do you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2019, 08:18 AM
 
52 posts, read 24,175 times
Reputation: 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You don't live together, do you?
No, we don’t. We’re supposed to meet up tomorrow when he gets back from travelling.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2019, 08:23 AM
 
13,285 posts, read 8,470,241 times
Reputation: 31520
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
I've decided that I'm going to end it. I just need to figure out how. I'm afraid that if I do it face-to-face he'll convince me to stay.
Put one foot in front of the other. That's how.
The saying "he who hesitates is lost"...is partly true. Stop being lost. Do the right thing...for yourself. Besides he has his "hands" full ...*cough*.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2019, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 60,008,529 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post

We’re supposed to meet up tomorrow when he gets back from travelling.
Don't.

Tell him you've had time to think and you've come to some conclusions, mainly that the relationship isn't going to work for you.

Tell him you know that this isn't what he wants, but that you aren't happy and he doesn't want or need to be in a relationship with someone who isn't happy.

Then say that's all you're going to say right now, and that you won't be in contact with him anymore. If he tries to call or text you again, block his number.

It seems harsh, but if you're worried you can't even talk to him in person without sticking up for yourself, you need to take serious measures to get out of this situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2019, 05:09 AM
 
1,923 posts, read 1,285,115 times
Reputation: 1976
OP sounds like he either lost interest in you (yes, a guy can in fact lose interest in a woman), or he has a medical condition. Or maybe he has become Asexual.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-28-2019, 09:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,234 posts, read 108,060,523 times
Reputation: 116200
Quote:
Originally Posted by M3Guy View Post
OP sounds like he either lost interest in you (yes, a guy can in fact lose interest in a woman), or he has a medical condition. Or maybe he has become Asexual.
He's become habituated to porn, and has been lying to her about the frequency of his viewing it. It could well have been the cause of his breakups with the previous two women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top