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Also I find it kind of hilarious (in a sad way) how a 27 year old woman is looked at by some as being too young for a 31 year old guy, while the media glorifies women in their 30s hooking up with guys in their early 20s and teens as being sexy and progressive. Stay classy, society
Literally no one would think a 27-year-old woman is too young for a 31-year-old man. And a woman in her 30s who hooks up with a college-aged guy would absolutely raise an eyebrow in many circles. Where are you getting this stuff?
I don’t think it’s a huge gap, but some people in their 20s are just not ready to cross over into dating people in their 30s and that’s their right. I don’t see why it matters when there are still plenty of other women who are willing to date men in their 30s, and I think it’s laughable that in your mind every woman wants a younger guy when that obviously isn’t true.
Believe it or not, "willing to date" and "physically attracted to" are not the same thing. I don't question for a second that many women are willing to date guys in their 30s. What I question is whether women are physically attracted. I personally have come across women who seemed to be physically attracted to me, but I realize that I look 5 years younger than I am and I attribute it to this.
To come to think of it, I remember several instances where girls have told me I "look good for my age." One time was a 24 year old girl when I was 29. It's funny because in the other thread people are talking about how ridiculous it is that a mid 20s guy said that to a 29 year old woman. Yet switch the genders and it is looked at as perfectly normal. I pointed this out and had both of my comments deleted. I guess certain people really don't want the double standard pointed out.
Believe it or not, "willing to date" and "physically attracted to" are not the same thing. I don't question for a second that many women are willing to date guys in their 30s. What I question is whether women are physically attracted. I personally have come across women who seemed to be physically attracted to me, but I realize that I look 5 years younger than I am and I attribute it to this.
To come to think of it, I remember several instances where girls have told me I "look good for my age." One time was a 24 year old girl when I was 29. It's funny because in the other thread people are talking about how ridiculous it is that a mid 20s guy said that to a 29 year old woman. Yet switch the genders and it is looked at as perfectly normal. I pointed this out and had both of my comments deleted. I guess certain people really don't want the double standard pointed out.
Ok, I’m going to stop talking about “dating” because I read your other comments and you said that you’re only looking for a casual arrangement? So your concern is that at the ripe old age of 31, you are just not as physically and sexually desirable as younger men and teenage boys. Got it.
Why is it that the idea that a woman in her 30s wouldn't be desirable to a young guy in his early 20s is considered preposterous whereas everyone considers it normal and to be expected that a 22 year old girl would consider a 27 year old guy to be old and unattractive? This is not redpill, this is what you see in every discussion on this topic whether in forums or in real life.
Name some.
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Originally Posted by cell jin
For example in another thread people were talking about ridiculous it is that men in their early 20s would say to a late 20s woman that she looks good for her age. Because late 20s women still ought to be considered attractive by these younger men.
That's me you're talking about, thank you very much, and no, the point is that someone is not "old" at 29 and shouldn't be told they are, especially by someone only a few years younger. But, you know, read it any way you want, because you're going to anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cell jin
I know that women my age and older seek casual flings mainly from hearing stories. And these stories seem to dispropporationaly involve younger guys. And not always legal age even. And also just the way many of them talk about younger guys. The same behavior and feeling seems to be absent when it's guys their own age.
I'd say that's probably more attributable to the fact that men that age are more likely to be single, and hence available, than anything else. (Or, are still looking for casual rather than for someone to wash their socks and cook their dinner.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cell jin
Yet switch the genders and it is looked at as perfectly normal.
Again, where does this happen? I want specific examples, and not "oh you know there was this TV sitcom" or "Well I once knew this guy sorta, and he told me his brother said that his cousin's boyfriend's dog's hairdresser once heard..."
Ok, I’m going to stop talking about “dating” because I read your other comments and you said that you’re only looking for a casual arrangement? So your concern is that at the ripe old age of 31, you are just not as physically and sexually desirable as younger men and teenage boys. Got it.
Yeah and I don’t know why most thirtysomething women would find teenage men and college age men desirable. Most of them are just gross- as in they live in really dirty environments (I still remember dating during the college days) and seem to care more about beer/partying than anything else. That is not attractive in my book, or I think in most women’s books.
I am no basing this on my own assumptions, I am basing this on the assumptions of the general population.
Let's say I posted on here that I was a 31 year old guy and I was interested in hooking up with girls in their early 20s. The general response would be along the lines of "why would they want a guy your age they can find a hot guy in their own age group!" I know this because I have seen it many times. Meanwhile, if I post as a 31 year old or even 41 year old woman claiming to be interested in hooking up with guys in their early 20s, there would not be the same kind of sentiment. And it's not just the issue of women having an easier time scoring hookups, because if I was a 23 year old guy saying I was interested in hooking up with 30something or 40something women, there also wouldn't be the same kind of response. So it is only reasonable to conclude that the general population assumes that women over 30 "still have it" whereas men over 30 do not.
The reason this makes me nervous is because although I still seem to get noticed("seem to" being the key word, I could be wrong), this could be because I still look young for my age. So perhaps when I don't look like a 25 year old anymore, I will become invisible to women.
Yes women have an easier time scoring HOOK UPS. This is a fact. And has nothing to do with age. It does have something to do with guys - particularly insecure guys - taking anything. Whatever they can get. And many women not interested in hook ups.
Yeah and I don’t know why most thirtysomething women would find teenage men and college age men desirable. Most of them are just gross- as in they live in really dirty environments (I still remember dating during the college days) and seem to care more about beer/partying than anything else. That is not attractive in my book, or I think in most women’s books.
My ex and I used to joke. Young people are really good looking. But eventually they open their mouths and speak.
I am a 31 year old guy and the general perceptions and and attitudes related to a man's age and desirability make me feel really insecure about my age and terrified of getting older. Honestly it really feels like women well into their 30s are still considered to be just as desirable as women in their 20s whereas I find that guys in their teens and early 20s are looked at by women as being on a higher level of sexual desirability than even guy in their mid to late 20s.
Of course most women will say this isn't true. But then why is it that 20 year old guys are expected to find women even in their 30s and 40s irresistible whereas 20 year old girls are expected to find 26 year old guys old and gross? Of course women in their 30s usually prefer to date guys their own age over the younger guys, but dating isn't about sexual desirability for women, particularly when they are trying to find someone to settle down with.
If we aren't hot enough for the younger women, then why should be expect that we are hot enough for the women our age or older? Wouldn't it be only reasonable to expect that these attractive late 20s and 30something women (and young looking Asian 40somethings) would be primarily attracted to teen and early 20s guys?
IMHO sounds like there is a more profound reason you feel insecure...this particular topic is just a symptom of it. You are hyper focused on a couple of decades out of an average human lifetime. There's a lot more out there you seem to have forgotten all about.
I think one reason guys feel so comfortable with "hook ups" is because they don't have to worry about rape as much as a woman does. For me, as a woman, to be alone with some guy I don't know well means there is a risk of being raped. That's the worst case scenario.
Also, men judge women who have sex on the first date as being "easy" or "s**ts". So if men wonder why it's so hard to get easy sex, they have to realize they are part of the problem!
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