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^ i'm actually curious. o.p., is there any other method she couldve used to contact you (email, facelook, twister, instajam, ...) to cancel the date.
she knew the time and place. a cellular telefone is superfluous.big up.
No. We don’t have each other on social media. The only source of contact is via cell phone
^ i'm actually curious. o.p., is there any other method she couldve used to contact you (email, facelook, twister, instajam, ...) to cancel the date.
she knew the time and place. a cellular telefone is superfluous.big up.
On all 3 dates we went on, she hasn’t shown any signs of flakiness. Always showed up early, never had her phone with her, showed no resistance when I asked her availability for dates (her schedule was always wide open and I had many days to choose from) she’s the one that called me after we hadn’t talked for a few days to facilitate the date she flaked on
Here's what you need to do. When she stood you up you did the right thing by not contacting her. She then called later and apologized. I find that surprising and unexpected. Guess what that was. A TEST.
What test?
This is a test by a woman to see how a man responds to a no show date. And she makes up a phony excuse. This test will show her how he reacts. Does he go ballistic? What does he do? Why this test? This tests shows her if it's ok to break up with the man later. It was time for this test after 3 dates.
You PASSED the test by not contacting her. In 5 days she decided the test was over and called you to apologize. Your 5 days of SILENCE is why you passed the test. This raised her interest.
When she sent that nice text that was TEST 2. Another test? Yep. What test? .
Quote:
Originally Posted by james112
He had a chance to now test her and accept the apology (fully forgive her), and see how she behaves going forward. He missed that opportunity.
Too many tests, too many games, I don't think the OP is in school anymore.
There is no test needed to determine she has the upper hand in the situation. OP even admitted he has a suspicion she blew him off for a "better option"
Too many tests, too many games, I don't think the OP is in school anymore.
There is no test needed to determine she has the upper hand in the situation. OP even admitted he has a suspicion she blew him off for a "better option"
All mature women will test men one way or the other. They just don't call it that. And you know what, they should. They've had men freak on them and act like crazy idiots. They need to know who he really is. Women will also lie to men in the dating phase and they feel it's perfectly acceptable to do so. In a few dates, they don't know who that man really is. Testing is a good sign in that it shows she has interest in him.
I use 'test' as a word to help men understand a woman's behavior. Why does she act that way? These tests come all the time and can appear like simple questions, or super flaky behavior.
A woman friend tested me recently. It was the first time we decided, spontaneously, to get a bite to eat together after work. She asked me "do you want to go to A or B restaurant?"
I knew it was a test. Before I had better dating skills I would not. I would have said "which do you like?" seeking her approval. In her mind, it didn't really matter where we went to eat. When a woman goes out with a man, she wants him to take the lead and take care of the minor details. Like where to eat, where to sit. Woman EXPECT this from the man but THEY DON'T SAY SO. Women will not tell you what they expect in a man, they want to see you be that man they expect. And do little tests to find out if you are that man. So I took the lead and with confidence said "I like A, let's go there". I took the lead right then. I saw the look in her eye that she was pleased and she immediately got in her car.
No. We don’t have each other on social media. The only source of contact is via cell phone
still dont understand the need for the cellular tele-fone on the actual date. what was her old fone; and, what new fone did she end up getting ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ
On all 3 dates we went on, she hasn’t shown any signs of flakiness. Always showed up early, never had her phone with her, showed no resistance when I asked her availability for dates (her schedule was always wide open and I had many days to choose from) she’s the one that called me after we hadn’t talked for a few days to facilitate the date she flaked on
maybe its a one-off. i see no danger in seeing where things go.
I went on 3 great dates with this one women 2-3 months ago. Things were effortless and natural and this could have potentially evolved into something then suddenly, she blew me off on our 4th date. She called me days before the date was set and facilitated getting together, so she made a date for her to come over and we were going to make dinner together. We had 0 contact between the date and she never showed or contacted me. She called me 5 days later from work and left me a very long voicemail apologizing saying that her phone got wet at the beach and how she hasn't had a phone. (I saw her post a pic on IG 2 days after she stood me up) I obviously was pretty upset over it so I didn't text her until 2 weeks later saying that I got her message and I appreciated the apology. She sent me a really long text saying that she was glad I received her message and that she was happy that I texted her back, asked how I was, etc. I gave her a pretty cold response and everything ended there.
I decided to reach out to her the other day and asked how she was. She texted me back and said that she really appreciated that I reached out to her and asked how I was doing, and we exchanged some long, lengthy texts. She's leaving the state for a week and we both agreed to catch up when she gets back. How would you guys approach this? I definitely don't intend on taking her out for drinks/dinner, she can pay her own way. This girl is absolutely gorgeous and can have any guy she wants so a part of me feels like she blew me off for a better opportunity then maybe it didn't work out with this other guy? I never got any sense of flaky behavior when we were dating. She always showed up early, never had her phone, met me halfway. It was effortless and easy, no resistance.
I would approach this as a woman to spend money on at dinner and a relationship with no future. She is running multiple men via online dating.
All mature women will test men one way or the other. They just don't call it that. And you know what, they should. They've had men freak on them and act like crazy idiots. They need to know who he really is. Women will also lie to men in the dating phase and they feel it's perfectly acceptable to do so. In a few dates, they don't know who that man really is. Testing is a good sign in that it shows she has interest in him.
I use 'test' as a word to help men understand a woman's behavior. Why does she act that way? These tests come all the time and can appear like simple questions, or super flaky behavior.
A woman friend tested me recently. It was the first time we decided, spontaneously, to get a bite to eat together after work. She asked me "do you want to go to A or B restaurant?"
I knew it was a test. Before I had better dating skills I would not. I would have said "which do you like?" seeking her approval. In her mind, it didn't really matter where we went to eat. When a woman goes out with a man, she wants him to take the lead and take care of the minor details. Like where to eat, where to sit. Woman EXPECT this from the man but THEY DON'T SAY SO. Women will not tell you what they expect in a man, they want to see you be that man they expect. And do little tests to find out if you are that man. So I took the lead and with confidence said "I like A, let's go there". I took the lead right then. I saw the look in her eye that she was pleased and she immediately got in her car.
This is seriously weird. She asked your opinion, because she wanted it. If you'd responded "which do you prefer", you wouldn't have given her what she requested: your opinion. Men react the same way, when they ask their gf, "where do you want to go to dinner tonight", and they get the "I don't know, where do you want to go" response. They tend to find it very frustrating.
It was a straightforward question to which she expected a straightforward answer, no hidden agenda. Another possible response was, "I like A; they have great appetizers. How about you?" In that option, you don't take charge, but you do give her your opinion, which is what she asked for. In that instance, she probably would have said, "Great, let's go to A". She wouldn't have thought any less of you for not taking charge, probably. To the contrary, she may well have thought it was considerate of you to leave the final decision up to her.
Some women do prefer the take-charge types, others prefer the egalitarian types. Either way, the success of the dateship or relationship wouldn't have hinged on that one moment. Your thought process comes across sounding paranoid, or conspiracy-theory-ish. I guess these days, it's called "overthinking" ?
shes coming back from vacay with another 3 to 4 notches on her bedpost, and the op is still thinking he has the upper hand and she truly is interested in him. lol
Desperate times call for desperate measures for some guys. Dude is just happy the pretty girl is talking to him, bless his heart.
It's so embarrassing that he would text her and initiate after she treated him so badly. It shows a gaping lack of self-respect, just because she's hot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797
shes coming back from vacay with another 3 to 4 notches on her bedpost, and the op is still thinking he has the upper hand and she truly is interested in him. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty99
If someone is truly interested in you, you don't have to wonder what is going on. Have some self respect, move on. 2 months later???? She's not even thinking about you, don't be a doormat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
OP: roll over boy roll over... good boy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad
I would approach this as a woman to spend money on at dinner and a relationship with no future. She is running multiple men via online dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell
Desperate times call for desperate measures for some guys. Dude is just happy the pretty girl is talking to him, bless his heart.
whats the harm of having a casual fling with this gurl ?
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