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I’m 27 years old. I just got a job promotion and we were planning to move into a brand new apartment community together, our first official place together. My girlfriend has had a history with other men but I always believed she was just insecure due to catching her father cheating on her mother, ending in a bitter divorce while she was in high school. Throughout our relationship she always grilled me and accused me of doing shady things but I never did. Deflection of a guilty soul? Through a stroke of luck, I discovered my girlfriend has had a second boyfriend, a coworker, for a year, and was drumming up romance with another coworker this past week. Firstly, I’m shocked. She spent so much time with me I have no idea how she pulled it off. I contacted the other man and he was shocked, stating that she always referred to me as her crazy ex boyfriend who wouldn’t leave her alone. On my end, she told me there’s a crazy guy at work that was obsessed with her and mistook her friendliness for interest in him. Well, that was a full blown relationship. He shared all the proof and now I’m spinning my wheels with timelines trying to figure out what all happened. My friend went through this with her husband and promised me a lifetime of worry if I take her back. I’m just so confused because she keeps telling me she’ll get help and that she wants to die by my side and that she doesn’t know why she did it and that she’s stupid. She keeps sending me long messages about how she’ll never stop fighting for us and that she knows it with all her heart that I’m the one. She says she’ll quit that job and do anything for me. My friend says she’s a sociopath and master manipulator and that it takes an exceptional amount of detachment to have this level of an affair. Yet she keeps telling me she wants to raise a family together and simply cannot lose me.
Your ex is either really messed up or really manipulative. You are very lucky to be rid of her. If you actually married her, it would have been a complete disaster.
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I’m trying to be strong. I don’t know how to be single and I have no friends. But my friend reminds me I’m young and that I can’t live the rest of my life with this person, always wondering. Any advice would be appreciated.
Try actually making new friends, and going out with new people. Sign up to Tinder and start going on some fun dates. Being single can be very fun.
I actually have no idea if she was faithful. Sometimes we’d go through hard times, break up but still be sleeping with each other exclusively, then I found out she was at the park in some guy’s Camaro banging because I followed her. I passed that as a technicality if we weren’t officially back together but while we were together a different year, she said she went to Vegas with some girlfriends when I found a picture of another man. She said nothing happened but years later admitted she slept with him. I guess there’s history there and I’ve trusted her too much, never snooping. Plus she was always interrogating me, asking me about all the women I work with etc. I was always so distracted by that that I never dreamed she would be guilty of all this. I recently took her to Catalina Island on a 3 day trip. We were so happy. Looking back through messages I see she messaged the other man because he accused her of being in Catalina with me, she replied that she was in Catalina with her girlfriends :-( i guess she has no conscience whatsoever.
Ya- I think she sounds nutso. Its always tough to move on, but you can do better. I'm sure she will cheat again.
Having experienced this very thing but in a marriage with two children involved. You should leave and don't listen to a thing she has to say. She will say or do anything to keep you in the picture but she will do it again. Don't believe me? You could do what I did. Take her back, tell her you are giving her another chance. Don't do sneakey things like stalking her etc.. it isn't necessary. Give her some space and I know she will do it again in probably a matter of months if not weeks and then you know for sure to move on with your life.
Having experienced this very thing but in a marriage with two children involved. You should leave and don't listen to a thing she has to say. She will say or do anything to keep you in the picture but she will do it again. Don't believe me? You could do what I did. Take her back, tell her you are giving her another chance. Don't do sneakey things like stalking her etc.. it isn't necessary. Give her some space and I know she will do it again in probably a matter of months if not weeks and then you know for sure to move on with your life.
Friend, that is so sad. You have my sympathy, no man deserves that. So very sorry. : (
I’m 27 years old. I just got a job promotion and we were planning to move into a brand new apartment community together, our first official place together. My girlfriend has had a history with other men but I always believed she was just insecure due to catching her father cheating on her mother, ending in a bitter divorce while she was in high school. Throughout our relationship she always grilled me and accused me of doing shady things but I never did. Deflection of a guilty soul? Through a stroke of luck, I discovered my girlfriend has had a second boyfriend, a coworker, for a year, and was drumming up romance with another coworker this past week. Firstly, I’m shocked. She spent so much time with me I have no idea how she pulled it off. I contacted the other man and he was shocked, stating that she always referred to me as her crazy ex boyfriend who wouldn’t leave her alone. On my end, she told me there’s a crazy guy at work that was obsessed with her and mistook her friendliness for interest in him. Well, that was a full blown relationship. He shared all the proof and now I’m spinning my wheels with timelines trying to figure out what all happened. My friend went through this with her husband and promised me a lifetime of worry if I take her back. I’m just so confused because she keeps telling me she’ll get help and that she wants to die by my side and that she doesn’t know why she did it and that she’s stupid. She keeps sending me long messages about how she’ll never stop fighting for us and that she knows it with all her heart that I’m the one. She says she’ll quit that job and do anything for me. My friend says she’s a sociopath and master manipulator and that it takes an exceptional amount of detachment to have this level of an affair. Yet she keeps telling me she wants to raise a family together and simply cannot lose me. I’m trying to be strong. I don’t know how to be single and I have no friends. But my friend reminds me I’m young and that I can’t live the rest of my life with this person, always wondering. Any advice would be appreciated.
My mother cheated on my father when I was in high school (1980-1983). She learned my father was taping her phone conversations, asked me to erase her conversation. I stupidly did. She was friendly with the school coach (none of us played sports), she was friendly with a cop named Fred. I heard at one time one of them knocked her up.
I never cheated on any of my boyfriends and did not accuse them of cheating like your GF did to you. I knew what my dad went thru because of my "mother". It all reared it's ugly head when I was 40. My dad's cancer had returned, they wanted to use me for stem cells. I told my mother that I'd be a match because I'm his kid. She said "I don't know". Long story short, neither told me how she cheated with some European guy who wanted to raise me on his own. He busted out all the windows to our house, we moved. I was 2 at that point. My father apparently was satisfied that I looked like him, he would raise me as his own. I begged him to do DNA, he refused saying he didn't need to; no matter how hard I cried. He eventually gave in 2 months later but it took DNA Diagnostics a month to come out. We did DNA, he passed 2 hours later and never knew he was my father.
I do not usually tell my story online but feel you really need to hear the reality. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Had my dad lived he would have finally divorced her.
If you take her back, what if she gets pregnant? Yes, these days there is DNA unlike when my "mother" cheated on my father and got pregnant with me.
She has cheated on you thru the whole 8 years. Even with the break ups, I still consider that cheating because she ran out and had sex; used it as an excuse to screw someone else. You would really need your head examined if you take her back. You will always wonder if she's cheating on you when she's not around; heck, she could have quickies at work!
You really need to take time for yourself and maybe try to meet some other women.
I’m 27 years old. I just got a job promotion and we were planning to move into a brand new apartment community together, our first official place together. My girlfriend has had a history with other men but I always believed she was just insecure due to catching her father cheating on her mother, ending in a bitter divorce while she was in high school. Throughout our relationship she always grilled me and accused me of doing shady things but I never did. Deflection of a guilty soul? Through a stroke of luck, I discovered my girlfriend has had a second boyfriend, a coworker, for a year, and was drumming up romance with another coworker this past week. Firstly, I’m shocked. She spent so much time with me I have no idea how she pulled it off. I contacted the other man and he was shocked, stating that she always referred to me as her crazy ex boyfriend who wouldn’t leave her alone. On my end, she told me there’s a crazy guy at work that was obsessed with her and mistook her friendliness for interest in him. Well, that was a full blown relationship. He shared all the proof and now I’m spinning my wheels with timelines trying to figure out what all happened. My friend went through this with her husband and promised me a lifetime of worry if I take her back. I’m just so confused because she keeps telling me she’ll get help and that she wants to die by my side and that she doesn’t know why she did it and that she’s stupid. She keeps sending me long messages about how she’ll never stop fighting for us and that she knows it with all her heart that I’m the one. She says she’ll quit that job and do anything for me. My friend says she’s a sociopath and master manipulator and that it takes an exceptional amount of detachment to have this level of an affair. Yet she keeps telling me she wants to raise a family together and simply cannot lose me. I’m trying to be strong. I don’t know how to be single and I have no friends. But my friend reminds me I’m young and that I can’t live the rest of my life with this person, always wondering. Any advice would be appreciated.
Move on. She is clearly a talented liar. She has managed to carry on this facade for quite some time. You will never be able to trust her. Thank GOD you found out now.
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