Do you think marrying someone so they can get citizenship is a bad idea? (boyfriends, long distance)
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I wouldn't marry someone off an agency website. To high a risk for green card marriage. Reality is if you marry a foreigner, they probably have an interest in living in the USA or they wouldn't marry you. But if you marry someone from another country, better to do it by living there for a while or marry someone that is already in the country. Don't use an agency. They specialize in people looking for a green card. My wife is from another country, (we met here) and she knows of multiple people from her country that did green card marriages. They are all divorced now and most of the time the guy was in total shock.
I think it's important to find someone who doesn't live in a country where many people are desperate to leave. Very poor, third world countries where a person might do literally anything to get out, those are high risk for people just wanting to come to the US no matter what it takes. Many women in Eastern European countries for example, simply desire an American man and the ratio of men to women is not great where they are. The foreign bride marriage that I know of that failed miserably was a woman from the Philippines (one of the poorest countries in the world) and as soon as she got here to the US she got her green card and enrolled in a job training program. Then she left the husband, divorced him and got half the house. Remarried someone else and moved away.
But these types of arrangements do work out, there are thousands of married couples in the USA, right now, who started out with these types of arrangements. Some turned out bad, but many of them worked out.
The objections to this remind me of the objections to online dating that are still going around, that it's creepy, weird, desperate or unsafe to date someone you met online.
I think our society needs to come to terms with the fact that not everyone can meet a partner through the conventional, 100% socially approved methods. The only thing our society really approves of, is the "high school sweetheart" method or the "college sweetheart method", which for some weird reason people seem to find so sweet and romantic. But you can't date anyone you met online, you can't date anyone you work with and you can't get a foreign bride/groom. Does this sound fair? Not to me. Let's stop penalizing people who couldn't find a partner before the age of 22.
Woah there, I am not penalizing anyone. I do think there is a risk and there will be a motive that is not necessarily love here. I don't believe I am wrong to that opinion. You are also putting all these other opinions on me that I didn't say at all. I was simply answering the OP's question.
I have read that statistically foreign marriages have a lower divorce rate, around 20%, versus the 50% divorce rate between American couples.
Romantic love is often not a primary motive for marriage anyway. There are other motivations - financial security, wanting to have and raise a family. To name a few.
JBT1980, I don't think that's a good plan. If you are looking for someone to love, keep looking for that. Please don't let someone use you just so you can have companionship. It won't feel good to you; I think it will feel demeaning.
I really wish you could somehow gain more confidence in who you are and see and feel your value and worthiness in this life. I see and feel it; I hope you can.
Ditto. Either this or its women I'm not attracted to who see my value. I'm done with the search in the U.S. The thing is, unlike the OP, I'm not looking to just be a source for a green card or a sugar daddy. That definitely makes the search more challenging, but I still believe it has a better chance of success than trying to find someone here.
Have you researched this? I seriously doubt you have (and why would you?), but I know I have and continue to do so. This company I'm strongly considering does not do that.
I have not researched it but using common sense.
This agency sells you women who are poor, in a poor country where they desperately want to get out of and therefore they sign their life (aka 2 years) away to come to the US and get a Green Card.
I am pretty sure that no matter whom you pick from the catalog will "fall in love with you", because you may be their only chance. Chance that you pick someone you like and they don't want you back are very slim. They probably get dropped by the agency if they reject too often. They will fake a connection and/or love until they are in the US to reassess what they want and with whom.
If you did not have luck in the US with a dating service you paid for, what makes you think it is better with a foreign one? You think, generally, people outside of the US fall in love quicker and harder? No ... only the ones in poor countries who are DESPERATE ...
This agency sells you women who are poor, in a poor country where they desperately want to get out of and therefore they sign their life (aka 2 years) away to come to the US and get a Green Card.
I am pretty sure that no matter whom you pic from the catalog will "fall in love with you", because you may be their only chance. Chance that you pic someone you like and they don't want you back are very slim. They probably get dropped by the agency if they reject too often. They will fake a connection and/or love until they are in the US to reassess what they want and with whom.
If you did not have luck in the US with a dating service you paid for, what makes you think it is better with a foreign one? You think, generally, people outside of the US fall in love quicker and harder? No ... only the ones in poor countries who are DESPERATE ...
Judge me all you want, I don't care. You miss the point anyway. Certain foreign countries don't have the entitlement issues American women have and they actually still respect men. The whole "I don't need a man" mentality of American women is a big part of the problem. Fine, so you don't need a man. Do you even want one? I want a woman who wants a good man and sees the my value. Therefore, another country is my best option. By the way, I haven't paid for a bunch of matchmaking services. I've mostly been set up for free, but you get what you pay for I guess. You can believe I'm desperate if you want to, it doesn't affect me. Its not desperation, its wanting to go through life with someone by my side, and I've stopped dating American women.
Judge me all you want, I don't care. You miss the point anyway. Certain foreign countries don't have the entitlement issues American women have and they actually still respect men. The whole "I don't need a man" mentality of American women is a big part of the problem. Fine, so you don't need a man. Do you even want one? I want a woman who wants a good man and sees the my value. Therefore, another country is my best option. By the way, I haven't paid for a bunch of matchmaking services. I've mostly been set up for free, but you get what you pay for I guess. You can believe I'm desperate if you want to, it doesn't affect me. Its not desperation, its wanting to go through life with someone by my side, and I've stopped dating American women.
I find it hard to believe that you don't see how your own attitude is affecting your dating life. I mean, I wish you the best, but the statements here are pretty obvious in regards to your negative attitude.
I find it hard to believe that you don't see how your own attitude is affecting your dating life. I mean, I wish you the best, but the statements here are pretty obvious in regards to your negative attitude.
That's a huge turn off. Just my 2 cents.
The person whom he is going to find abroad cannot afford to be turned off. That's what he is counting on, they HAVE to like him or else they have to go back.
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