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It could definitely happen that you have no luck in your own demographic.
For example, I'm an Asian-American male. Most Asian-American women prefer either white men or Asian-American men who are VERY successful in an metropolitan, genteel sense.
I mean you could say I'm generalizing or talking out my a@@, but my success rate with Asian-American women versus other women just really speaks for itself.
I've even kissed more white women than Asian-American women as shocking as that may sound.
Sometimes the results speak for themselves.
As far as Atlguy, I can totally see how a 40ish man could be turned off of the demographic of attractive, white collar American women.
That's a TOUGH demographic.
Indeed. I can see how your experience is what it is. I think a lot of people are attracted to a different culture from their own or think their own is ordinary. Hence, another reason for going overseas. I won't be "ordinary" (I'm not, btw) over there unless I act like a stereotypical middle aged American man, which I don't.
I think a lot of people are attracted to a different culture from their own or think their own is ordinary. Hence, another reason for going overseas.
That's a very valid reason to find love somewhere else IMO. I'd also recommend making the effort of getting to know the culture of the other country beforehand and learn the language as much as possible.
That's a very valid reason to find love somewhere else IMO. I'd also recommend making the effort of getting to know the culture of the other country beforehand and learn the language as much as possible.
I am learning about the culture of the country I'm strongly considering. I have books on it. I'm pretty excited, actually.
Yes it is wrong because it takes away the whole point of marriage ... Love!
Can you define "Love"? "Love" is just a feeling that can be experienced differently by each person.So it is hard to claim that marriage based on a feeling could be felt completely different for every individual.
There are other more tangible reasons to marry. Such a need for friendship/companionship, sex, desire to have kids and finally a commitment to one's wedding vows. But half of the marriages in the US end in divorce. So it is very hard to argue that "Love" is a good foundation for marriage.
Judge me all you want, I don't care. You miss the point anyway. Certain foreign countries don't have the entitlement issues American women have and they actually still respect men. The whole "I don't need a man" mentality of American women is a big part of the problem. Fine, so you don't need a man. Do you even want one? I want a woman who wants a good man and sees the my value. Therefore, another country is my best option. By the way, I haven't paid for a bunch of matchmaking services. I've mostly been set up for free, but you get what you pay for I guess. You can believe I'm desperate if you want to, it doesn't affect me. Its not desperation, its wanting to go through life with someone by my side, and I've stopped dating American women.
How many women have you actually met, who feel they don't need a man or want one? I don't know any. The American women I know are looking for good guys like you. Are you sure you aren't getting this "entitlement issues" thing from blogs or TV? For that matter, I thought your part of the US, the Midwest, was full of women who want a man to settle down with. That's why they get married young.
You seem to be contradicting your posting history up until recently. You don't sound like "you" anymore. What's up with that, Atlguy?
Its purely based on my experiences over the last 10 years. If you can't see how the dating world in America has declined the last 10 years, I don't know what to tell you. I'm talking about it according to what I've experienced. Of course now that I've given up, maybe I'll meet someone tomorrow. Who knows? I'm just not banking on it and its been a great relief to stop chasing women who are flakes, view career as #1 priority, are dating multiple men and lying about it, etc. I guess I kind of want an old fashioned woman in a lot of ways.
But your experience has been limited to the Midwest and Atlanta. And OLD, vs. IRL. That's a pretty narrow base of experience. If you're not into women dating multiple men and lying about it, stop using OLD. Women have the same complaint about OLD: men dating multiple women and lying about it, lol. Obviously, it's not working for you, nor for a lot of other people.
But don't generalize OLD's peculiarities to the entire population; search out the solid people who are out there networking through friends, being active in the community, or meeting people through professional associations, conferences, etc. Or take a chance, and put in some job applications for jobs in a different region of the country. You might get a serious offer, who knows?
How many women have you actually met, who feel they don't need a man or want one? I don't know any. The American women I know are looking for good guys like you. Are you sure you aren't getting this "entitlement issues" thing from blogs or TV? For that matter, I thought your part of the US, the Midwest, was full of women who want a man to settle down with. That's why they get married young.
You seem to be contradicting your posting history up until recently. You don't sound like "you" anymore. What's up with that, Atlguy?
Thank you for the thoughtful response and questions. You always make me think, yet you're never offensive or judgmental. I appreciate that. Some of the "entitlement" issues has to do with the millennial generation and isn't completely related to dating (I've had several who reported to me), so thats a good point. My target age range includes older millennials bordering on Gen X. As for the mid west, you're correct, and if I was 21 and in college, I'd have a great shot at finding someone. Unfortunately, people do get married young (1st marriage) here. But I'm looking for mid 30's-mid 40's and there's a shortage of those women, particularly ones who would have more children, as many are already empty nesters. I don't know that I'd have kids at my age, but would like the option.
You're right, my recent experiences have made me shift my views. I was dating a woman for over a year who I thought I was going to marry. That ended in April primarily because she wasn't willing to work on things, despite saying she wanted to get married. In reality, I think she just wanted a sperm donor, as she was 44 and desperately wanting kids (as was I). Anyway, that was extremely disappointing, as we could have worked it out. That was followed by a series of women who either lied to me about dating others or were so into their career that they wouldn't make time to see me. So yeah, that made me re-assess if I was just chasing my tail doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I currently have 2 women chasing me now that I've stopped trying to date, but neither is a good fit for me for various reasons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
But your experience has been limited to the Midwest and Atlanta. And OLD, vs. IRL. That's a pretty narrow base of experience. If you're not into women dating multiple men and lying about it, stop using OLD. Women have the same complaint about OLD: men dating multiple women and lying about it, lol. Obviously, it's not working for you, nor for a lot of other people.
But don't generalize OLD's peculiarities to the entire population; search out the solid people who are out there networking through friends, being active in the community, or meeting people through professional associations, conferences, etc. Or take a chance, and put in some job applications for jobs in a different region of the country. You might get a serious offer, who knows?
Sure, I can stop using OLD and have, actually. BUT that's the only way for me to meet women. I don't meet women in grocery stores, the gym, bars, meetups, church, etc., so where does that leave me? It leaves me seriously considering other methods I haven't tried such as the one mentioned in this thread (only legally and going through a long process). My experience dates back to Florida as well, but that was in the days when people still set people up, and pre OLD. That doesn't happen anymore. Everyone I work with is married and all their friends are also married. Its next to impossible.
Yes, I'm still looking to move back east to areas besides just Atlanta. It's just not working. Lastly, I did buy a house because I have just about given up on moving. However, its a house that would sell quickly. But because I've laid down roots here, I'm also considering the overseas method of finding someone. So there's a lot of soul searching and advice I've sought out in this. It's not a snap decision. This is 7 years in the making.
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than Asian-American women as shocking as that may sound.
