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Old 11-21-2019, 10:04 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Ive been thinking about doing this lately.

I never thought I would do something like this but nothing else is working and I’m at my wits end with trying to organically find someone.

So I figured this is my only chance at finding someone and who knows maybe she can grow to love me.
I've mentioned it before, but I would suggest going for women who were born and raised abroad and are naturalized citizens before jumping to that extreme.

You will have at least a minor edge going for them over American women for a number of reasons.

 
Old 11-21-2019, 10:13 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,211 posts, read 107,904,670 times
Reputation: 116159
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
I've mentioned it before, but I would suggest going for women who were born and raised abroad and are naturalized citizens before jumping to that extreme.

You will have at least a minor edge going for them over American women for a number of reasons.
How would he get their attention, though? He seems to believe that he has no attractive (physical) qualities to offer, so his angle is to offer a shot at a residency visa and eventual citizenship, as his only hope for drawing women. That's what this thread is about.
 
Old 11-21-2019, 10:20 AM
 
2,669 posts, read 2,092,040 times
Reputation: 3690
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistermobile View Post
Living near Princeton, NJ, and on Sundays I would walk the main street to see the sights. On one corner there was a wooden kiosk which had many ads and what not thumb tacked there. Stopped to read this article put up by a sad man whose Russian bride had divorced him after the two year waiting period and took him for all that he was worth. Sad, sad story oft repeated.
Yes, but there is not enough space in the universe where sad American men can post stories about American women who divorced them after one or two years because they were no longer in "love". And took those men to the divorce court for all that they were worth. "Sad, sad story oft repeated."
 
Old 11-21-2019, 10:26 AM
 
2,669 posts, read 2,092,040 times
Reputation: 3690
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Ive been thinking about doing this lately.

I never thought I would do something like this but nothing else is working and I’m at my wits end with trying to organically find someone.

So I figured this is my only chance at finding someone and who knows maybe she can grow to love me.
I hope you are talking about International dating? So that you are marrying someone hoping for a happy relationship, not just getting US citizenship.

I think you might want to try this process using the services of a reputable, well reviewed company. Assuming you can afford to travel frequently to see your potential future wife and enjoy different cultures. I think there are a lot of success stories about these marriages but of course nothing is guaranteed. But this relationship can't be a lot worse than a typical American marriage, half of which end in divorce anyway...
 
Old 11-21-2019, 10:31 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,189,540 times
Reputation: 17797
From a straight up risk/benefit analysis standpoint, it seems to me that the likelihood of the benefit (grow to love) is vanishingly small and the risk that you get fleeced, used, hurt is very large.
 
Old 11-21-2019, 11:05 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
How would he get their attention, though? He seems to believe that he has no attractive (physical) qualities to offer, so his angle is to offer a shot at a residency visa and eventual citizenship, as his only hope for drawing women. That's what this thread is about.
You could integrate yourself where those women hang out.

Back in the day in my 20s, there used to be these white dudes, some of them in their 40s/50s who just used to hang out with the Asian women in my circles. It got to the point where different Asian women I knew, knew who he was, despite them not knowing each other. And they would laugh about it.

I mean if OP REALLY wanted help, there's ways to get a woman who's pretty darn cute for a guy who doesn't have typical appeal. And I'd be the person to ask (offline) for that.

You'd have to make some compromises, but I'm not going to go off on that. It's been discussed a thousand times.
 
Old 11-21-2019, 02:23 PM
 
5,324 posts, read 6,101,587 times
Reputation: 4110
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Bad idea. Marrying someone who wants something from you - she is going to be gone the moment she doesn't need you anymore, I promise you that. She will not grow to love you, that is very naive, I am sorry, dude. She most likely will not just leave but taking half or more of everything you have and maybe you have to pay support for her because YOU brought her here and promised the government to support her.

Besides the fact that it is illegal.

Lower your standards and you will find love in the US.
My standards aren’t they high I have a pretty diverse taste in what I find appealing.

But if I find someone unattractive then I just can do it. I’d rather be alone.
 
Old 11-21-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,792,740 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by defiantnj View Post
i hope you are talking about international dating? So that you are marrying someone hoping for a happy relationship, not just getting us citizenship.

I think you might want to try this process using the services of a reputable, well reviewed company. Assuming you can afford to travel frequently to see your potential future wife and enjoy different cultures. I think there are a lot of success stories about these marriages but of course nothing is guaranteed. But this relationship can't be a lot worse than a typical american marriage, half of which end in divorce anyway...
^this
 
Old 11-21-2019, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,792,740 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Your standards aren't too high IMO. I said it before, I think it is your attitude. That plus the fact that we are in an era right now where finding love has become almost impossible - there are too many odd people out there. Have they always been there and we did not encounter them when we were young because they were in their parents basement and we only met the normal people while going out? Did the internet give crazy people and losers the opportunity to come out of their shell ? Or is everyone now flaky and undecided?

Everyone I know - ugly or pretty - has the EXACT same issues while dating. And it creates alot of frustration and self doubt - which in turn makes you less attractive, it is a vicious circle.

I used to go out and meet guys naturally and we dated - since online dating I get so many rejections and people fading away, it really eats on my ego to have 8 out of 10 guys flake on me. Luckily I hear the same from others, so I know this is the norm nowadays.

It is really tough to find someone over 40 who is an okay catch. I don't even care much about the weight, my last guy was about 50lbs overweight, half bald, beer belly and taliban beard - absolutely not my type but somehow he had charisma that drew me in. I am more about finding someone who isn't crazy, loyal, honest, not living with the ex and has a real job - looks are secondary. That has been a real challenge.
Please explain. You can DM me if you want. I mean I know I'm a bit cynical, but I'm also friendly and not a pushover. I've met plenty of people who are way more cynical with more baggage than I ever had, particularly since living in the "dating desert". My attitude has to do with awful experiences, so not sure what to do about that. We see the world through our experience, and all I've experienced is liars, flakiness, and total lack of integrity with the women I've met. Hence, no longer doing apps or anything online.
 
Old 11-21-2019, 02:58 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,189,540 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Please explain. You can DM me if you want. I mean I know I'm a bit cynical, but I'm also friendly and not a pushover. I've met plenty of people who are way more cynical with more baggage than I ever had, particularly since living in the "dating desert". My attitude has to do with awful experiences, so not sure what to do about that. We see the world through our experience, and all I've experienced is liars, flakiness, and total lack of integrity with the women I've met. Hence, no longer doing apps or anything online.
It's funny. I have experienced all that too. What strikes me as weird is that you have ONLY experienced that. There was one guy I met once who described all the women he has met as desperate to get married. That sounds pretty stinky. But I also know a couple guys who threw me over for someone more appealing to them. No foul. So the women are out there too, I would think.
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